Should my boyfriend pay me rent or am I be selfish?

So me and my boyfriend live together and I am at collge so I get my rent covered for me due to being a student. But my boyfriend has an ok job and makes 1700 a month and he lives with me and apart from paying his own bills everything is split equal which am fine doing but at the same time that fact that I get a little over 100 a week to spend on bills , gas and electricity and food , clothes going out etc. I try to tell him that since he makes a bit of money that he should contribute some money to me for letting him live here rent free but he disagrees because I am his girlfriend so he feels he should live rent free. I just feel a bit resentful that I am left struggling to even pay my phone bill and he is sitting with after bills 1500 that he spends on video games and beer. I know he has a job and works hard but I still feel he should pay something towards having a roof over his head. Maybe am just a selfish person? Am I been unfair?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is he a student too?

    He should definitely be paying rent, nobody lives for free, that's a ridiculous claim. You are not getting 'free' rent. Your rent is being covered because you are a student, meaning it is coming out of your tuition payments and is being reflected in the small amount you get as a living allowance. It is not 'free', the cost is just obfuscated by other things. If he is a student, then he should be getting some kind of living expenses as well, which should be going to you as he is not in his own place. If he is NOT a student, then he damn well should be paying something, that's insane. He is just taking advantage of you. You are his girlfriend, so you should subsidize his life and go without so he can have beer? That is a huge red flag, he is showing the signs of a very selfish person that lacks empathy to see your point of view, and lacks the common sense to understand that you are not living for free, but your rent is coming out of other hidden costs.

    YOU are not the selfish person, he is. You are not being unfair, he is taking advantage of you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, you aren't paying either. And you also don't have a job. But I know what it's like to be in college and having to budget and buy food, water, and electricity.

    He should contribute a fair portion to you because you let him live there. I would tell him to pay you.

    At the very least he should pay for half of electricity. Since most places average 70-90 dollars for electricity, I don't see how this would be a problem to him or you.

    Also, if you buy his food and household items (toilet paper, soap, etc) then he should pay for half of that as well.

    Here are base things-I'm going to round things in your favor, 50 for the splitting of electricity. 15 for water. And 50 for a big thank you

    So, about 115 seems fair, plus food and household items. You'll get double the money to budget, and if that doesn't make you happy, I don't know what will :)

    And him, hell, he could be paying ALL of rent. So, he better not complain.

    And I don't understand why he isn't giving you at least around 100 anyway. He's probably young, has no rent, and apparently no responsibilities, so why would he hoard everything and not give you at least electricity and thank you money? He seems kinda selfish, just saying.

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What Guys Said 19

  • He should definitely contribute a bit, but at the same time, if you aren't working and he is, he's going to have more money, and you are in no position to be jealous of that - you could get a job like he did.

    So, yes, in my opinion he should be giving you $100-200 per month as "rent", but you should not begrudge him spending his money on whatever he likes - he earned it.

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  • It's tough but he should be, no one gets a free ride and neither do you. Recognize what he contributes and takes and what you contribute and take. Tell him that you are struggling financially with paying bills and that having him contribute towards you will help. At least that's one option.

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  • I think it's reasonable for him to contribute more.

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  • He needs to be responsible and since he's your boyfriend at least contribute. We all got to make sacrifices, he can lay off the bear and video games to help you.

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  • He should contribute its poor taste of him not helping you out since you are struggled ng and he is getting a favour from you. The respectful thing to do would be to repay the favour.

    You should ask him to pay you a bit of rent, I'm saying this on the background he knows your financial situation.

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  • Nobody should live rent free. You're dating a free loading bum. Make him pay an equal share of the rent or make him find his own place.

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  • He should have volunteered to pay rent when he moved in with you. Any self-respecting guy would have done that. He's a cheap selfish bastard. Dump him.

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  • I think it is fair to split all household expenses. As your rent is paid for you, it is not an expense. So technically, no I don't think he should. However, he should naturally want to spoil you by buying you things or taking you out if he has more money than you. At least, that's what I would do.

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  • Well if you have to buy detergent for both of you, food for both of you, toilet paper for both of you, etc. Then he should definitely contribute.

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  • He is being a fuckwit tell him to pay is way or ship out.

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  • I definitely think he should compensate some how.

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  • He should definitely contribute. I wouldn't tolerate such behavior.

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  • You don't pay rent. 50% of 0 is 0.

    $400/month is a lot for a student. He works for his money. It's his money.

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  • He needs to pay and stop being a fucking mooch kick him to the curb and tell him to go find a 60 year old sugar momma if he thinks he can live free. If you were not together he would have to pay rent or a mortgage

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  • Yea he should

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  • WTF. This is crazy. of course he should pay half the rent. i can't even fathom his logic.

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  • Wow. Yea he really should chip in. I know I would if I was in his shoes.

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  • If I had a girlfriend I would have her pay part of the rent or half. That's only fair. He has to contribute to the rent wether that be half or close to it.

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    • Well I re read it and you said your rent is cover so I don't think he owes you anything. He could give you a hundred dollars to be nice but you aren't paying anything so you shouldn't expect a lot from him.

  • Does he stay at yours or his own place more? If yours, he should be paying something. Whether it's food, gas, electricity, rent or whatever else. Obviously something he needs/uses, and not your phone bill.

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What Girls Said 19

  • That's bullshit of him. I mean I'm not going to flat say he owes you half the rent but at the VERY least he needs to be picking up all the bills. It isn't his business that your parents pay the rent... Plus they really don't pay your utilities and he is using the utilities when you aren't there running the cost higher for you. BS if he refuses break up with him and kick his ass out or at the very least kick him out. In either situation if he breaks up with you then so much the better. He wasn't into you and is just going to move on to his next meal ticket.

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  • Well, I mean, you aren't paying rent (unless I'm misunderstanding), so that's probably a big reason why he feels he doesn't have to, since you aren't either and that money would be going straight to you.

    But on the other hand you don't have to let him live there.
    I can see both perspectives. I wouldn't say either of you are wrong.
    You really just need to talk to him about it and try to get him to see your perspective and let him know how much you are struggling.

    He should WANT to help you, especially if he has so much extra money and you are clearly in a serious relationship (since, you know, living together). I don't think it's too much to ask for, personally, but I can also understand his point of view. It goes both ways.

    Really, just try to talk to him and work something out.
    Let him know how you feel. Let him in on how stressed out you are about money.

    He will always have more since you are a student and not working, but he could be more generous to the person he's committed to.

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  • No... He wouldn't be my boyfriend for long! Tell him that no-one gives out free rent!!! And he has to pay for food!!! damn... I would throw him out! I just can't!

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  • If he lives there, he should be paying rent. I don't care if he's your boyfriend, he's taking us space in your apartment. If he's not going to pay rent he should buy groceries, or pay for hydro.

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    • by the way " I get my rent covered for me due to being a student" how does this work? Your parents? Or you have a loan? or?

    • I saw in the comments below "My parents pay my rent while am at college", you're very lucky and I just want to say those aren't not HIS parents so he expect your parents to cover his part of the rent too? I think the least he could do is contribute especially because theyre your parents..

  • He should pay rent. He'd have to pay anywhere else, and he should be sympathetic to your financial situation as your boyfriend.

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  • I don't think you're being selfish although I don't think he should be paying rent, or have too because you get it covered from the college, but are you paying tuition? Like do you have a loan out to pay it? Because if so you then are paying it. Although it sucks being broke af and watching your boyfriend have all this cash to be spent on stupid shit. I'm not sure he should have pay... maybe he should.. if he isn't saving the money and is just spending it. Maybe ask for like a 100$ rent? I don't know. I think it depends on who is paying for your college. I definitely don't think your being selfish

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  • No I think him being the boyfriend should pay a little more. Especially if he's wasting money on that stuff instead of helping you out. He's the selfish one! how long have you been together?

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  • Your not selfish at all, he sounds like he's using you a little. If your giving him a free place to live, he should be giving you at least a little bit to help you out. That's what a loving boyfriend would do anyway, regardless if you were giving him a free place or not. It's kinda sick that he sees you struggling to pay your bills, and he not bothered by it. Think about it if he was living by himself he would not have nearly as much spending money for himself because he would actually have to pay rent. Put your foot down.

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  • No you're not being unfair. He should pay rent at least 100 a week. Yep y'all aren't married so nail it to him girl. Stand your ground.

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  • Of course he should help you with the bills. He should help you with everything. Food for the house, Electricity, everything that he's using. It's not like you're racking up bills on your own as far as the apartment goes. Either he helps or he gets kicked out. That's what I would do. But you seem scared to do that so I guess you can keep living with a selfish boyfriend.

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  • It's absolutely wrong based on what you said that he won't chip in for rent. When my boyfriend moved in with me he lousy his job and couldn't pay rent. As soon as he got on his feet he started giving me rent and an extra 200 (without me asking or caring) to pay back rent.

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  • If he is going to live there then he needs to contribute to shared expenses and rent is one of them.

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  • of course he should.
    I d feel he is taking advantage of me honestly

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  • He shoud be paying

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  • He's using the fuck out of you. If he lives in your place he should be paying no less than half the rent. Period. He's getting over on you. You can't live in that apartment without paying rent so why should he? He sounds like one of those guys who gets a girlfriend for the main purpose of making life easier financially.

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  • I don't know how long you been together but I don't think you both are ready to live together

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  • Yeah, he can help out more once in a while. The stress and resentment might get to you later on and just keep building up. That is not going to be good for your relationship.

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  • Well, you could get a job too. If your rent is free and he's going halves on everything else, him paying you rent is just him giving you money basically.

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  • If you or your family is paying rent for your place then yes. He should absolutely pay you for living with you.

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    • My parents pay my rent while am at college and there not bothered about him paying but it just bugs me how he doesn't have to pay any money and sits about with so much money left in his pocket every month while am struggling

    • He's a freeloader then. It doesn't matter if you pay or your family pays. If he's living there he should absolutely pay rent!

    • Especially if he is being selfish with his money while you struggle and he doesn't take you on nice dates or anything.

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