Did he deceive me? When should man tell you he has kids?

I went on a date with a man from OKcupid (26, I am 23). We had great conversations beforehand, I shared much about myself and my dedication to my education, etc. We went on a great first date, the chemistry was strong but I managed to hold off on getting physical. The next date we ended up hooking up, and again on a third after that. And then he texts me that he has full custody of two little girls (5 and 7) that he neglected to tell me about sooner. I was livid and accused him of withholding information, to which he replied that in order to protect his kids, he had to get to know me better first before mentioning them. I never even thought to ask if he had kids-- I assumed that was the kind of information one would put forward on a first date (or before) as that is HUGE. It was definitely a deal breaker. Was he being a POS and withholding info? Or did he have a point to protecting his kids?

Updates:
I can't help but wonder if he was just waiting for things to get intimate before sharing this detail I think that's the source of my angst.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He was not protecting his kid by not telling you. He protects his kids by not introducing them to you, So it was purely for other reasons. Basically to get yo in bed before you found out. You should dump him, although that may have been his plan anyway. Get you in bed then tell you something to get you out of his life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well it all depends. Could be either honestly but I don't think most guys would do that to someone, how does that help them in anyway by not telling you they have kids? Maybe he's just an overprotective father and he may have some reason behind that that he's never mentioned before? I don't think you should stop talking to him just because he has kids, that's sad. He's probably sturggling to find a good mom for them I bet he's a great guy and father just looking out for his kids. I'd give him another chance especially if you had a connection. You may find to live his kids and maybe even have one of your own

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you were a single mom, how soon would you let a complete stranger know? I think he probably waited a little long, but I don't think that the first date is necessarily the time to drop that.

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  • Actually, it doesn't protect the kids, he wanted his cake and to eat it

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  • Stop messing with him if he lied once he'll lie again.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If it were me, I'd be just as angry as you. I have no problem with someone having kids but they need to be upfront about stuff like that. I mean fair enough to maybe hold off on the first date but second date it definitely needs to be said. Otherwise someone's pretending to be someone their not. I don't see how he's protecting his kids if you're just going on dates?

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  • I don't date men with kids especially if they can't tell me. I would cut it off

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