What do you think of commercial "dating gurus" and their media for men, e.g. "The Game"?

Several months ago, I was feeling very desperate as I've been chronically single for my whole life, not even a first date ever, so I splurged and bought David DeAngelo's e-book "Double Your Dating." I also receive his CDs for about $20 a month with "dating advice," and his emails on how to succeed with women.

I don't like most of the advice. It's telling me to be somebody other than myself, which contradicts what most women say. In fact, some of the advice made me feel worse about myself than I already did.

I admit that I'm probably a really shallow person and I turn down girls that I don't find physically attractive and only go for really "hot" girls that almost always already have boyfriends. That's why I decided to buy his stuff, because it tells you how to get hot women, and even how to "steal" girlfriends.

Basically, the stuff tells you that things like chivalry is dead, don't be a romantic, those days are over, don't be a "wuss," and don't act like a girl, which apparently, I'm acting like one, and it's not attractive.

It's really frustrating because most of the advice is telling me to buy things I cannot afford (I am a college student, after all) like brand-name jeans, fancy colognes, hundred-dollar shirts, more books and more DVDs about how to behave and think and stuff.

I want a loving, intimate relationship with a beautiful girl, not to become a hookup artist and sleep with everyone and become a man slut like these materials are promising me.

The book and CDs are telling me to do stuff that if I tried, might get me arrested and labeled as a sex offender.

I'm thinking about canceling this stuff (it's burning a hole in my wallet and I'm not really getting anywhere) but by doing this, I'm supposedly doomed to settle for less and wind up unhappily married to a girl with looks and a personality that would make a clock run backwards.

In the meantime, my friends continue to date and make love and have happy relationships.

So, I guess what I'm asking is:

Is this ultra-commercialized dating advice a waste of money (considering I've spend $100's on it over the past several months)?

What do you think of this kind of dating advice?

Do beautiful women really only go for cocky men?

Am I really doomed to settle for less than I deserve?

If I'm being myself, why am I always rejected? (which means I don't know "the game.")

I'm just frustrated and need some thoughts on all of this. I'm much more interested in female opinions.

Updates:
CORRECTIONS:

There's been some misunderstanding here. I've turned down a few girls because I wasn't really attracted to them. I feel that I deserve someone who looks decent (average/cute) and has a good personality. I really like cute girls.
I now think this is a waste of money. I'm canceling the service. I don't need this guy telling me what to do and I think it's for the better. I think I'm a special case considering my disabilities. I like the way I am and I'll get the girls!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • DeAngelo and those guy deliver on what they promise.

    They don't offer love, they don't offer the chance at finding a wife.

    They offer boat loads of insecure women who are indecisive and confused.

    If that's your path, so be it, have fun.

    If it's not, you shouldn't be following the advice.

    In your case being you is what's going to work. As far as your friends go, they aren't "making love."

    At least, I highly doubt it unless they are all married. And even then, that doesn't qualify.

    Finding love is extremely difficult. It's one of the rarest events in any person's life.

    Some people do not find it in their lifetime, and still even others do not find love with the type of person they truly need to experience it with.

    To find a person that truly compliments you, and to then find love with that person is such a rare occurence, that I'd almost suggest buying lottery tickets for the rest of your life instead.

    But if you want love, the only way you're going to find it is by being you, and being discerning about who you expose your feelings to.

    As far as any other advice, have fun!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Settle for less than you deserve? Why do you think you deserve a beautiful hot girl and are too good for an average/ugly/cute girl? I think most guys who order it are entitled not to mention delusional. I'm gonna keep it 100 with you if you want a hot beautiful 9/10 girl you might have to win the lottery. For real you're not that hot yourself to be turning down girls who aren't really hot and only going for super beautiful girls. Commerical dating gurus see a market and exploit it. Considering you've spent hundreds of dollars on it and aren't seeing any real results, it looks to me like you've been hoodwinked. It's a million dollar market. Honestly either become more attractive yourself or settle for girls who aren't beautiful and hot. They don't want you.

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    • I'll admit, I've got a lot of work to do. I haven't much experience at all in the dating world and because of circumstances beyond my control, my social development is way behind. I do think that I need a different attitude about the whole thing. What should I do to become more attractive? I'm working out, I'm getting myself out there more, and I'm trying to be less nice and more aggressive.

    • This is a pretty bold statement, btw. I'd respect it much more if it weren't anonymous. But since it's anonymous, I'm going to treat this as a rant and not pay much attention to it. With this attitude, I'd say hot guys don't want you either.

What Guys Said 4

  • if you think about this from a business perspective that guy is a damn genius, your paying him money to give you advice on how to get a one night stand basically, and he is throwing out things like you should get this cologne or this shirt or this brand, why do you think he is saying that because those brands are his sponsors , they pay him to sell there product, now does that mean if you buy all that stuff girls are going to flock to you, hell no. You can buy a regular pair of jeans, a polo shirt for like 10 bucks, and a pair decent shoes and you can laid.

    If his advice isn't working stop paying for it. I've never taken any pick up artist advice, or bought any books to get me laid, and I got laid alot, dated like 8 girls at once it was hard to do but I did it, and now I have a gf, and the most expensive article of clothing I wore were my boots, they're like a 100 bucks, but everything else was basically from Target. If being nice doesn't work out for you then don't be so nice.

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  • What you have to do is keep everything in perspective.

    These books are going to give you some basic advice that may be helpful, but then they're going to try to extrapolate it to all sorts of conclusions.

    One thing is correct though, "being yourself" is a sham. Self doesn't exist. You're going to have to change something if you expect any kind of result.

    Personally, I think gag gives more useful dating advice than most books if you know what to look for.

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  • Books like "Double your Dating" and "The Game" are actually full of strategies that work well for picking up women. However, they are also excellent tools for looking like an asshole. Women who are attracted to you when you're the player are not going to stay with you when they find out you aren't really one. Books such as these are excellent for playing the dating game, and will probably get you lots of one night stands if you use them. However, if you're looking for an actual relationship, then being yourself is the much better option.

    They call those books "player manuals" for a reason.

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  • Its too bad your more interested in female advice... since they know all about the pick up comunity

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    • I don't really understand. It makes more sense to me that women would know more about themselves and what they want then men would. What kind of advice would you give?

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