HELP!!! Can I hint to the guy I'm seeing that I will hang out with other guys if he doesn't make it official between us?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't hint. That doesn't really work on a lot of guys. They are dense. Some of them (like me) would be dense enough to have my own event horizon - dense enough to alter time and bent light. In fact, I sometimes pretend to be dense and stupid enough and every hint (or insults) would just fail so I can have more time to deal (or not deal) with it.

    Look at him and just ask him straight. If he asks for time then tell him to be a man and be decisive but then back out and give him some time (no more than 1 week).

    Don't play the jealous card, that will do more harm than good unless you really had him on the hook. Men do get possessive but you don't want to force him to show it. It lowers his view of you.

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    • I need to hint at it or subtlety tell him not directly so how?

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    • We'll I don't know what else to do, we act like a couple when we're together but in reality we're not

    • As I said, just be straight with him. If you want something, ask for it.

      You are stuck in limbo because you are afraid of losing what you have but what you desire more. However, what you have now is more or less something you 'believe' you have but never got a confirmation. Are you guys just good friends or actually a couple? There are times when you have to risk it because you know that this can not go on forever. This is not what you want. Try asking him. Maybe he will say yes then congrats, if he says no then you guys never did have anything to begin with.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Issuing ultimatums isn't the oath to a healthy relationship and is a turn off for most people. Just tell him how you are feeling and at this point you don't want to see other people and asks what he thinks. If he's into you he will most likely agree or if he isn't really feeling it he'll give you a noncommittal type of answer. At which point it may be time for you to take a step back, evaluate the relationship and if it is working for you anymore, if you are getting out of it what you need. If not its time to move on to someone else who is looking for the same thing you are and able to give it to you.

    I've dated men that simply just were not capable of a loving relationship with anyone even though they wanted it and tried to fulfill that. One of them dragged an ex along for 3 years never fully emotionally commuting to the relationship or falling in love. Trust me not a good scenario women wind up giving it their everything to get nothing back in return leaving them bitter when they finally end it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Yes... to force him to make a move... use a guy to your advantage...
    so that he thinks ur in demand... and he should pay attention to u and also to feel jealous...
    this is the best trick...
    but dont go overboard... just let him know that ur declining all these guys because of him...

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    • How do I let him in without telling him directly?

    • Talk to guys baby...
      I mean do this... talk to guys in his absence like a friend...
      and when ur with him... those guys will come to u... and then u just ignore them and show him ur declining all those guys becoz of him... it always work

    • How do I show him that

  • Id probably avoid talking about other guys if you're actually interested in him, cause that could make him just end it with you since he might think you're the kind of girl who just runs off to other guys when something is wrong. Just be straight with him and tell him that you wanna know if you two are actually a thing or are you just wasting your time with him.

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    • No I don't at to him about other guys and no I can't say it directly, can't I hint at it?

  • I guess you can.

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    • How though is my question?

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    • Huh?

    • Why must humans work so hard to say things without actually saying them?

  • I hope your only doing that as a threat and not doing it forreal.

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    • No I'm not I don't want to or care to so how do I do it

  • If you don't like him enough to not be looking at other dudes I don't see the point, I wouldn't want to get with someone who was thinking about messing around with other people because the exclusive label isn't timely enough for her.

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    • I'm not I just want him to know I can so maybe he'll do something after it and make it official between us

What Girls Said 4

  • What do you mean "seeing"? Like going out on dates? If he's not pursuing anything or taking it too slow, I would simply ask him what's going on with the two of you.

    If he evades, I would simply say that maybe we should see other people.

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    • We'll I don't want to I want him but I need something to let him know to move a little faster lol

  • There is no reason to do so. You start hanging out with other guys and when he asks why then you tell

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  • Why don't you make it official or ask? You're both adults, it doesn't have to be his job to do it. You want it then say something.

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  • I feel like I've seen a similar post quite recently. But, no matter.

    You should talk to him. Try to be gentle but firm about your needs.

    Treating him poorly by playing him against another guy is cruel. He has feelings too.

    Dropping hints is passive aggressive and spiteful. He will probably be hurt and offended by these behaviors.

    If he doesn't want an official relationship, then he's probably not right for you right now anyway. Move on and find someone else but end it with him first.

    If this is how you treat him, then I hope he finds someone better than you. You're not a nice person if you think playing games with his feelings is an acceptable way of getting what you want. You seem like a selfish brat and very unpleasant.

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    • No I don't think it's a good way of course but I don't know what else to do

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    • Huh, it been awhile since we broke up also

    • I don't know what impact the time since your beak up has. I've gotten back with other exes too and had poor results. I've told you about all I know from my own experiences. I was a slow learner, but perhaps you are a rare exception to all the conventional wisdom I used to ignore.

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