Her parents won't allow us to date. How can we find a way around that?

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 months, and it has been amazing. Almost from the start her parents told her we couldn't date, but she found a way to do it without them knowing. Last week her dad literally forbid her from texting me or making any contact with me. Now he can read any text she sends to anyone, whether she deletes it or not. We want to find a way around this, but just don't know how. Any tips or suggestions as to how we can communicate with these restrictions.

Updates:
The only reason he doesn't like me is because I'm not Christian. Up until he found that out he was fine with me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you two should focus on something other than your relationship, like education. You have plenty of time to pursue relationships when you're adults, and a relationship at your age shouldn't be your main focus, especially when it's causing disruption. Her parents don't want her to waste her time and energy on a relationship, when they want her priorities to be other things, and that's fair enough. Too many teenagers throw away their education because of high school relationships, and it's the parent s jobs to try to guide them.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • But is there a specific reason her parents don't allow it other than them having the "our daughter is a princess to be protected" thing? Well I can only suggest to try and find more elaborate ways of contacting her. Good luck.

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    • Well they won't let her because I'm not white.

    • Show All
    • Wait. Is it because you're not white or because you're not a Christian? I'm hearing conflicting stories here, OP.

    • @BellePepper It's partly because I'm not white, but mainly because I'm not christian.

What Girls Said 12

  • There's always passing period between classes to talk, but you're going to find this very difficult to maintain under those restrictions.

    It might be best to respect her parents' wishes until you're old enough to decide for yourselves. If you still want to date each other by then, perhaps it's meant to be.

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  • secret text code?

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  • Oh man, that sucks.

    Try to meet somewhere, she can say she is going to her friend's house (this friend need to lend you guys her/his house), because if she says she's going somewhere and she's not there, things can get ugly.

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  • Well if her parents forbade you two from being together than you're going to have to respect her parents decision. If you're older than she is be careful her parents can press charges on you unless you're both like 13-15. You guys can talk in school but I'd move on if I were you. Get good grades plan to go to college and there you'll meet lots of new people. You won't be in middle/ high school forever.

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  • If you really love her and are willing to fight to be with her, you need to talk to her parents properly. There must be a reason why they are not allowing you to date her. If you did something to make them disapprove, it's your responsibility to make things right. If they disapprove of her dating any guy, that just means they're worried and over-protective, which is not wrong, you just need to try to build a good relationship with one of them and then the other.

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  • Maybe just leave the relationship and respect her parents' wishes? You're under 18 so I'm guessing you're quite young and both live in your parents' homes so you should follow their rules.

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  • Just let it be for a while. If her parent find out that you are sneaking behind their backs to talk to their daughter it will not turn out well, then you will never have a chance with her. Let things settle down for a while and just 'talk' to other people. You might even try talking to her father. It will show adult-ness (is that a word lol) and he will respect you more. Don't do anything that could make him loose rosepct for you even more then he already has.

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  • The best decision is to respect her parents. That's the only way you will earn their respect and then you won't have to lie!!

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  • I don't know. Just secretly. Lie. And see each other. Talk. I don't know.

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  • I don't know how old you are (young teen, or 17), but if you really like her and want a long term relationship with her, you should probably respect her parents wishes and be just friends.

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  • You can learn a new language strictly with her only so you can communicate secretly. Create a fake profile or change the number, pretend to be a girl. And if her dad asks her, she can just say it's her buddy from a certain language class or a pen-pal friend. Occasionally speak English about some girly stuff to make it more credible.

    It sucks that her dad wouldn't accept you because you aren't Christian and even more because you aren't White. What a backward mentality, I'm sorry.

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  • Just kidnap her.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Well if you both are under 18 there is nothing much you can do about it, you were lucky to get on this so far, but it will become difficult for you to continue that way, so what I would suggest is try to concentrate on your studies and making a career and after a few years you can pursue relationships later on.

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  • Plan A. 3rd party get a friend to send message to her for you or her friend
    Plan B. online chat just change your name to billy or something
    Plan C. Group party get a 3rd party like double date or something since theirs 4 people should be OK
    Plan D there has to be a reason why he doesn't like you maybe change a bit?

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  • Hmm... you need a chatting app, a secured one. There are various chatting app around so get a few of them.

    Alternatively try some of the free dating app that allows you to search for a particular someone. Tinder and OKcupid will allow you to chat for free.

    You can also use a computer. There are a lot of ways to chat on a PC. Also, more exciting if you want to date inside a game.

    Other than that, a simple chat code combine with a chatting app would be great.

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  • I suggest a "mail drop" with a mutual friend. This involves old fashioned paper and post.

    Or perhaps a network of mutual friends can relay text messages. That is, you send a text message to the mutual friend, and she sends it on to the lady. And vice versa.

    By the way, have her parents actually *met* you--and your parents? Might that improve things if they did?

    If all else fails, just wait a few years and plan your escape with her.

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  • You can't do nada about it. His attitude changed toward you because in his head he is raising his child with certain morals in mind, he can't have some non christian infidel come and ruin his daughter. Besides the girl is, what, 16-17? Her dad obviously is very protective of her, which is natural.

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  • What shitty parenting...

    Yeah use online mediums?

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  • One of my exes parents didn't want her to date me because of my health problems... Long story short she cheated on me for 8months before taking my stuff and leaving.

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  • You convince them.

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  • Here's a way: listen to your parents.

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  • Use kik or something or a game that has messaging if u want to be really discreet

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  • Shave your heads and join a cult

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  • "Off The Record" encryption?

    Or she can run away from home >< How old is she?

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