Why does she take so long to reply?

So i tried my best to research this before I asked but my situation seems slightly different then most I've read about. So this girl and I have been talking and we have a ton in common. We even grew up like an hour from each other. Its really easy to connect with her and it seems she feels the same. By that I mean that usually when I send her a text she responds flirty followed by a quetion. So most of the time she is coninuing the conversation by asking me a question. So thats what I am getting stuck on. She is really flirty, coninutes the conversation, but she is very unpredictable when it comes to reponse time. Sometimes it takes her 5 minutes to respond, sometimes a day, sometimes an hour. Her response times are pretty inconsistent. I've already asked to hang out with her but with finals coming up we both have pretty busy schedules. I wanted to hang out with her to get to know her more before we get out Christmas break and it fizzes out you know? I've been doing my best to match her respone times so I don't come across clingy. Even though I know I am. Im kinda stuck on whats going on and how to proceed. I haven't tried to call her yet, I thought id give it a couple of days. Thanks!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • After so many years of dating men in different cultures, countries and from all walks of lifes I can only tell you the very sad truth: if you have to worry about how you act and cannot let your heart and your actions flow naturally, run away. It was not until I was 36 and divorced when I really understood that. If someone is interested in you, they WILL ALWAYS make time. If someone acts like they don't give a shit, it is because they really don't give a shit. Or worse, they are manipulators using you for their own amusement. Save yourself some tears and sorrows. I know this might hurt because I wanted to chase my first boyfriend all the way to Spain and hated my mom for not allowing me to do that but you know what? His own father told my mother to not let me go. This guy had no education and was a lazy ass. Had I follow my infatuation (not real love) I would have been in a very bad spot today. I could go on and on about this but being sure of who you are will help you not question your own actions. Don't wait until you are 36 like I did to realize that you are the most important person here. It will be her loss, not yours. Remember that.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe she's taking her time trying not to seem over eager. I know some people just take long to reply sometimes and don't mean anything by it. Some people don't have texting high on their priority list. I wouldn't pay any attention to it. Honestly I wouldn't match her response time. I'd respond anywhere from immediately to 30 minutes tops. Everytime. If she continues to take long to respond then that may just be how she is. And if she's doing her part to keep conversation going then I'm sure she's into it. The only thing I suggest is respond to her right away as if it were one of ur buddies. Goodluck :)

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    • Women can continue texting just for the heck of it. I can assure you that. Sort of to keep guys in the freezer for whenever they don't have a date or anything better to do. I agree, I also think that just texting back as she is one of your buddies is your best choice if you don't want to move on. Good luck from me too :).

What Girls Said 2

  • She might become busy and forget to reply sometimes, it happens to me quite often especially when finals are coming up.

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  • Girls - and myself included - will sometimes strategically wait a little bit between texts to not come across clingy. However, unless she works all day and cannot look at her phone, she shouldn't be taking a day to respond to you if she likes you. 5 minutes or even a couple hours is ok. So this being said, by flirty do you mean you say something and lets say she responds "haha 😂 Omg. Do you like really that?" for example. Is this like how she texts? If so, this is something a girl could say to a guy she just sees as a friend to be friendly.

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    • No she's actually like asks intimate questions. For example:
      I said I miss my home in Virginia... She said

      I am sorry to hear that 😢 I would feel the same way if I were you. What brought your family to state college?

      Stuff like that I guess. Seems she's trying to get to know me?

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    • Yes, I studied this and I work analyzing human words and expressions. Think about it, when we REALLY like someone, you cannot contain yourself. You might try to seem a bit hard to get but when it is meant to be, NOTHING is hard. She is not trying to get to know him. All that the asker posted is an empty useless string of words. If she was interested in him, why would she ask about his family. Using an external subject in conversation shows a total sense of detachment. Specially at the beginning. It should be only you and him/her. He says he misses VA, what the heck does it have to do with anything the question "What brought your family to state college"? Unless she doesn't know how to spell or meant something else, the family is not here, is in VA. I don't know. I have seen marriages, friendships and even work relationships being broken because of texting. Call and listen to the other person's voice. And if they don't answer or call back, then your answer is right in front of you.

    • @Wynstelle you're so smart. I'm minoring in linguistics in school and really like it. Are you researching anything in psycholinguistics right now? I'd love to read your work ☺️

What Guys Said 0

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