We were making plans to hang out the day before, and the next day he said he had already made plans with his friend. What gives?

I told him the day before that "Maybe I'll get you out of the house this weekend. I've been thinking of some more dates ideas :)". He said, "sure sounds fun". So, essentially, in my understanding we have made plans. The next day comes around, I bring up some date ideas for either Saturday or Sunday that we could do. His response was just, "I'm sorry I can't this weekend. I already made plans to hang out with my friend. We can hang out next weekend." WTH!! You're busy with your friend for the entire weekend?

Because of my own individual insecurities, I assumed the worst. I thought he was gonna be spending the weekend with another woman. But he's not like that, and I should know better than to assume that.

Why do guys essentially make plans and then bail? Do you think maybe he didn't see it set in stone because I said, "maybe I'll get you out of the house..."? I don't know, I'm just very frustrated right now.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The open ended vague way you said " maybe " very well been why he really didn't take it as your saying we are getting out of the house this weekend. Rather than leaving it to chance that he would be stuck at home for the weekend he made plans with his friends. But it makes little to no sense that he will be with them all weekend unless they are going out of town or something

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    • Yeah, I noticed that I'm bad about that. We've been on this hot and cold warpath for awhile, and since we decided to slow things down (his choice), I've been trying to give him the opportunity to initiate. Basically, the ball has been in his court about our relationship for awhile now.

      I need to not be so vague, and just be upfront about what I want. If I want to hang out, say it. Not let him think that we "might" hang out during the weekend.

      Yeah, him being unavailable for the entire weekend made me jump to the whole, "is he with another woman" bit pretty fast. I was cheated on twice in my last relationship, so I've got some of my own issues. But anywho, yeah, I didn't ask him why he'll be unavailable for the entire weekend, because I didn't want to come off as needy or desperate, etc. It's just weird. He has friends out of town, but he also has friends in town. I'm hoping that they plan on drinking and hanging out, so he thinks he'll spend Sunday resting.

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    • Haha, well, I think he's a nice guy who happens to have his own insecurities, and who is also very introverted. I don't think he's the cheating type, either. We decided a couple months ago to take the relationship slow. He's been taking the relationship VERY slow, even to the point of only showing a hint of affection when we are not around each other. In person, things are great.

      I just have my own insecurities.

      He sucks at texting, by the way. So, even if a couple days go by, he probably wouldn't text first. He just isn't the kind to be on his phone. I'll still give us a couple days apart maybe 3, to not initiate contact.

      Thanks for your sound advice 😊

    • Any time. And your welcome

Most Helpful Girl

  • You said maybe. So I would have made other plans also. He shouldn't be waiting around incase you decide you want to. Doesn't seem very fair. The fact that he said next weekend it a good sign

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    • You're right. What sucks is that he has a break right now, so he has all the free time in the world for the next few months, whereas I still have my day job. I'm only available on the weekends, so it sucks. I think maybe he decided for next week, because the plans I suggested were for during the day.

      I'm just a mess haha

      Your input helps. Thanks!

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    • It's not as easy as turning off insecurity, you know? (not trying to be confrontational, though I know that's how this sounds) Some people, myself included, have been burned in a relationship, and sometimes those burns leave scars that don't heal too easily, causing insecurities.

    • @Yaeza Your point is valid, and I agree with it completely.

What Guys Said 1

  • Well you did say maybe unless your like maybe hint hint. also the only reason a guy would bail is
    A. He totally forgot
    B. Something in a life time is coming across him and he has to go with his buddy.
    C He promise his friend/best friend first and though you be cool with it

    Other theory are too much and too long to type

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    • You're right. I was being vague about it. Hope all A, B, and C is what is happening Haha.

What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't allow it!

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