Has Dating Become Unreasonably Complicated?

It's pretty simple. Boy likes girl. Boy ask girl on a date. If girl likes boy, they go on a date. It is really that simple. 20 years ago, around the time I started dating, that's pretty much how it happened. 20 years later that's still pretty much how it happens. I was a little confused the first time I got an email address rather than a phone number. It took me a while to figure out the text messaging thing (i.e. why girls would rather text in the beginning.) The emailing and the texting do drag the "get to know ya" process out, which I think is a bad thing. All the good "chemistry" is in the very beginning. The more rapid spontaneous reactions make stronger chemical bonds.

I believe we drag the process out, we over think ourselves, and we slow down the "chemistry." Instead of each date being different, some dates being better than others, we drag things out to the point where every date seems the same. We over analyze, and over complicate. Do you disagree? Do you agree dating is more complicated than it should be?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely agree...add in the fact that there can be soooo many misunderstandings in text messages which only adds to the frustrations...Technology has its place, can't imagine not having a cell phone, but I'm not to interested in building a relationship through it...I prefer the eye contact, the subtle body language that lets you know he/she is interested in you, the flutters in my stomach, the opening doors and gentle touches when my chair is being pulled out for me...Personal stuff...not impersonal...Cheers to all!

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    • There were so many good answers to this question. I have to give you Best Answer for pointing out the misunderstandings in text messages. I've had several people I just stopped texting because they just misunderstood so many things. Good observation!

    • Thank you very much!

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think it's like that for everyone. Most guys I'm with do not like to text like my previous ex boyfriends and I'm busy so I don't text much either. Yeah it's because of technology that makes it complicated I guess.

    I just try to have fun when I can for each date. I am pretty easy going but I am not happy when it's people trying to make it complicated.

    I think it's nice to get to know a person rather than just jump into something unknown full throttle, you have to get to know who you're going to be with to have a relationship.

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  • completely agreed.

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What Guys Said 4

  • It's all in how you approach it methinks. A few months back, I decided to find someone to enter into a long-term relationship with (ie, find love), and settled on joining a dating site (for the first time) as a means to this end. I dated six women over a peiod of one month (One of them I met in church, and she asked ME out, all others via the dating site). All were very nice (I messaged back and for with each for one month, prior to meeting) but no bells and whistles were in attendance on my end. With the sixth woman, bells and whistles were at a deafening pitch for both of us, and we're now four blissful months into a relationship. Voila!

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    • Beautiful! What did it take? I'd guess a little effort and a moderate amount of patience. You didn't mention the book you read "1001 Ways To Get a Chick" by Dr. Gitusum. You didn't read the book? How did you ever find a girl without knowing how to be cocky, arrogant, funny, etc...? Ahh, you let nature take it's course. Novel idea! You should write a book. Sorry, I'm just a little p*ssed off today. My fiance gets back tomorrow; I'm sure I'll be better soon.

    • Actually, it was like shooting ducks in a pond, as much can be extrapolated from profiles and correspondences. By the time I meet someone, it's only a matter of "electricity" being present, and it's "on" from there. I found it much simpler, more palatable, and more efficient than the old method of dating. Of course this doesn't mean I won't ultimately be slashed to death as I sleep.

  • I agree man. I prefer the simpler way you mentioned at first, of course. I don't like what technology is doing to us. Of course, I'd want to cut through the texting b.s. as soon as possible. And the fact that so many shy, insecure guys endorse it doesn't help either. I'm shy and insecure myself, but I want to grow into a confident self-assured guy by taking action, not by hiding behind anxiety-reducing tricks and social conventions.

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  • yes I agree sum what every body is different but dis textin. id be better talkin to a girl face to face. but sum girls never stop textin to b honest I don't know what 2 say to them half the time.it does take sum of the nerves away if you ease into it. like textin. then callin and so on.id much rather a date all the same.

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  • You sir, nailed it. What was once an easy/simple to understand concept, has now become one of the most difficult.

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