Girl strung me along for a month. I'm super peed off right now. What to do?

I absolutely hate this girl now. We had a great first date, but subsequent dates were cut really short by her because apparently she's super tired and has been working late. Yet, she would text me if I don't text her and act all interested. Today I finally asked her what's going on. She tells me she doesn't think we're a suitable match but it takes time warming up to people... yet she knows straight away if she wants to be with someone or not.
Wtf? Why didn't she just tell me earlier if she wasn't interested?
I am soooooo p*ssed off right now. I actually declined 3 other girls because my first date with this girl went super well and she seemed really sincere. I treated her really well and respected her time, her work, and her. I feel so betrayed.
Why the fk can't girls just be honest from the start? Why fking lead someone on?

Updates:
And get this.. she told me this over text. I asked her to at least talk in person.
How fking cowardly. How disrespectful. How unconscionable. How pathetic.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get lead on so many times it's beginning to really bum me out :(

    I feel you on this. She should have been more upfront with her feelings, especially if she didn't feel anything for you. I am also like you and am very accommodating to people. A lot of times I find that turns people off (not sure why).

    There seems to be a trend that if a person isn't absolutely perfect for them, they will reject them. I don't know about you, but there are no perfect matches. Every relationship takes work and effort and a desire to be together from both parties.

    The only good thing about this situation is now you know the truth. Unfortunately, you had to reject 3 girls for a chance with this one person.

    In the future, I would try to remain as objective as possible with a person until you are 100 percent in a relationship with them. This will help you weed out any red flags and really see them for who they are. I know I am very guilty of getting excited over a guy after a really good first date, or some really sweet messages. I have had to reel myself in and really focus on whether the person is even a good match for me or not. Believe it or not, this has saved me some heartache.

    In order to do this, you need to mirror the other person. If they send you a message, send one back. But if they aren't responding right away, do not respond back to them right away. I know it seems like playing games, but the only want you are going to be able to see whether they are actually interested is by remaining objective and being able to see any signs of flakiness.

    in my opinion, if a person is too busy to see you, chances are they aren't too busy, but rather just not that interested. She most likely could have made time, but chose not to.

    I dated a guy like this for over a year. At first he had all this time, then he started saying he was busy with work and family. I was very supportive of him and accommodating, but then he stopped seeing me as much. His family and work life got busy, or so he said. I later found out he was cheating.

    I'm really sorry you are going through this. But the positive side is that you are not wasting any more time on her. There are plenty of women out there who will like you and want to be with you. Good luck!

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    • I really feel like venting to her how much distress she's caused and what a terrible person she's been.

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    • sorry I should specify *weren't dating (I should have put in a relationship).

    • Thanks for MHO! I hope that you are able to move on and find someone who is deserving of your time and energy :)

What Girls Said 7

  • Let this be a little lesson in life and in love here, dear, do Not wear your poor heart on your sleeve, should... She leave.
    One never knows how a "First date" will go and with her making lame duck excuses for More in Store, she was making many, getting your hopes up because She... Was not honest from the start.
    many guys and girls are not always an Honest John in telling Someone straight out "We have no chemistry." You have to be your own detective in Getting a helpful hint, with some hymn and a haw, that she is either really Into your Groove or Not... Making an uncool move.
    Move on and relax, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Just be careful next time, be on your guard and don't let it down until you Both know there is going to be a Potential relationship with Both making a Team effort with No Ands, ifs Nor... Buts about it.
    As far as 'Over text' this is One easy way, maybe not ethical, to blow you off in a nice way that day.
    Good luck. x

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  • It's honestly quite simple: women are typically conditioned to beat around the bush to spare your ego. I was raised that way, and a lot of my friends were raised that way. There is a lot of pressure to "give a guy a chance", especially if the first date went well and nothing necessarily went wrong. Chances are, she just didn't feel the spark but didn't know how to address it since nothing went "technically wrong" on any of the dates. She likely thought if she gave it enough time that maybe things would change, and clearly they didn't and she didn't know how to bring it up. When you asked her, she seized the opportunity.

    I get that you're pissed and I don't agree at all with what she did, but I wouldn't go as far as to freak out as hardcore as you are. At the very least she did come clean with you and you can move on, so just take it for what it is.

    For me personally I have never had an issue telling a guy when I'm not interested, but not all women are like that,

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  • Not all girls are like that. I'm sorry for the bad experience. The best thing to do is just cut her from your life and try again with someone new.

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  • Being afraid to voice out their feelings/emotions etc. I think that's the main point. No courage to speak up.

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  • She was trying to let you down easy

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  • I'm sorry you know guys aren't the only ones who can be complete dicks! This girl was probably in it for the hell of it knowing full well she didn't want it to be permanent. So stop talking to her. That's it. Move on and find someone who is going to like you for you and who is actually interested in getting to know you. Don't make a big deal about it just remember how you are feeling right now so when you are in a relationship you know to be honest. And don't be a dick! Simple as that. Happy dating!

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  • I feel you, I would be upset as well. Something like this only happened once with me but with a guy.

    I'm going to say this bluntly, but I honestly don't know her, and not all women are the same. Maybe, she sort of found you attractive but wanted to date you to see if she would be really attracted to you. She might not have felt anything, but wanted to see if it could work out. After a few dates, she realized there wasn't that attraction.

    It sucks, and I hate when people waste my time so I get why you are upset. You never truly know who you are dating sometimes. Sometimes one person thinks it's going great but the other just isn't feeling it.

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    • Why can't they just say "I don't feel what I'm looking for".

    • Some do, some don't the same as any one. They are giving it a shot, instead of saying no to every person they don't find physically attractive.

What Guys Said 6

  • Dude, you dodged a bullet man! It was just a few dates. Let me give you an example. My first ex strung me along for over 6 months, talked about marriage and kids with me, and finally ended up cheating on me with a 60 year old asshole. So your situation is comparatively much better off than mine!

    Since you say you turned down 3 other girls, it means that you're the type of guy who can get dates easily, and not have to go to the moon and back to get a girl to agree. Consider yourself lucky, because this aspect alone puts you among the very few privileged men who can get dates whenever they wish. The right girl will come along! :)

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  • This is the kind of experience that most of us have and which helps us to appreciate the right partner when we finally find The One.

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  • They do it because they get free shit. Dinners, movies, blah blah blah.

    It'll take forever to deconstruct the shit in your head that's weighing you down, but just go and subscribe to this podcast called the Art of Charm, and listen to it. You'll start seeing results within 3 months.

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  • You have to take responsibility here because the moment she cut short the second date is the moment you should have dropped her. You allowed yourself to be strung along because you ignored the red flags that were in front of you.

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    • I know.. and I'm kicking myself in the head for believing she's so sincere and genuinely believed her excuses and false interest.

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    • 3 dates

    • Then you acted as I would have done. She bailed on you once, you gave her a chance, then she bailed on you again and you kicked her to the curb. You handled it like a pro with the exception of getting salty about it.

  • This right here is the reason I don't know if I wanna be in a relationship

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  • things happen

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