This guy has been pursuing me forever, should I give in?

Long story short: a guy from my old town had a thing for me, but we never knew each other too well. I moved and he added me on social media to keep in touch. He always made it pretty clear that he was into me. After I went through a style change (bye-bye blonde, hello electric orange) he began acting more interested. Everytime I'm in town I honestly almost always blow him off or make an excuse, but at this point he's been trying for so long that I almost feel like he's earned at least a dinner date.

I don't know, we live cities apart but I go into town to see family a lot so it couldn't hurt, but at the same time I never felt too interested in this guy. Then again, we have never officially hung out. Should I just give in and give it a chance?

Updates:
I got the feeling that I'm not going to go out with this guy.
We decided on being friends. Lol.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I almost feel like he's earned at least a dinner date."

    I don't think that's really the best mentality to going about it. If you don't have the hots for the guy then you just don't have them. And if you go on the date and you still don't have them it'll be worse because now he thinks you're interested or you're playing hard to get so even if you say no after that he thinks you just want him to chase you even harder and he'll end up doing that.

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    • Well I have full intentions of being honest with the guy - I'm an honest person that way. If I did go out with him I would have him know to not form unrealistic expectations and that I want it to be casual.

Most Helpful Girl

  • no. never settle. it's wrong for you and him

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What Guys Said 13

  • Giving it a try won't hurt so I think u should
    At best u get the guy who chased u for ages at worse u get him off yr back

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  • If you never felt any interest in the guy No since you only be hurting yourself and him in the long run, such as if you both dated and you still not interested in him and you want to break up with him, that would hurt more.

    Only if you feel that he can bring you happiness should you ever want to date someone, or even if you are interested in them,

    even if he has been trying for a long time, showing affection/giving him a chance will only encourage him to do it even more.

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    • Well I have no intention of dating him at this point or showing any type of super romantic interest, but I am considering going to dinner with him casually.

  • I don't think people earn dates by relentless asking. Dates are granted because you want to. It seems to me you don't really want to.

    If there's a side of you that wants to because you think he's a good guy and you might like him, then by all means. If on the other hand you just want to be able to say, "Well I gave you a chance and it didn't work out, sorry," you have wasted his time and in giving him hope you might have made your rejection even worse (to say nothing of wasting his money if he pays). If y'ain't feeling it, then don't.

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  • In the words of Arthur Ransone, "Grab a chance and you won't be sorry for a might-have-been"! You'll never know unless you go for it. If it doesn't work out and falls apart, you've lost nothing.

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  • I think it should depend on if you find him a friendly person or not... if there's a good chance that you'd enjoy having a good chat with him, do it but tell him honestly that he shouldn't hope for too much.
    But that you appreciate he'd like it so much and he's continued to ask it nicely, so you want to do a gesture.
    And you never know... maybe you'll be sorry you didn't propose it any earlier :D

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  • Dear Ms. Train:

    I am 60 years old, born and raised in the South, have been politically conservative my entire lifetime, and I received my bachelor's and professional degrees from FSU. In May, I had a date with a lady I met online. I didn't know much about her but I thought, whet the hell, I'll give it a try. Well, I soon learned that she has from the North, has been politically liberal her entire lifetime and received her bachelor's and professional degrees from the University of Florida (my school's rival) and we are both diehard fans of our respective schools. What a mismatch!

    We have been dating for 7 months and I am in love with her. Looking beyond all of the superficial differences, she is a good, pure, and simple woman and she has a heart of gold.

    My advice is obvious: go for it. You may discover a gem hiding below the surface, and you wouldn't need to ask yourself whether he is really interested in you. Good luck!

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    • We ended up deciding to be friends actually.

  • I don't see dinner as being too bad if you really want to. But that is the key. You have to want to. Other wise it could be just like leading him on if you really have no attraction to him. If it were me, I would rather hear the truth then get false hope

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    • What I am thinking of doing is being really honest with him and telling him to not get any expectations in mind. Would that seem weird or rude for a girl to say you think?

    • Show All
    • I agree.

    • I don't think that's rude rj, i think it's good to be honest before the date. But you can't be sure he'll take the personal responsibility or emotional maturity to take your advice yknow?

      But in my case, i would probably be like "oh, well thank you fit being so honest with me, i appreciate that. But i had more romantic intentions so if that's not a possibility i think i shouldn't" and call it off politely.

  • Well it's not like you are going out of your way to go on a date. Worst case scenario you waste half a day.

    Kinda interesting how persistent he is considering how little you appear to know each other.

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    • I know, I found it odd as well.

  • No, find someone who actually gets your horses running.

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  • If you're not into him it's probably best you make that clear. If you go on a date it's just gonna lead him on honestly.

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  • Give him a chance, it's the season of perpetual hope

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  • Just let him hit it real quick

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    • Nah, I ultimately decided to not go out with the guy, turns out we're not compatible.

    • That's really shitty

    • Ah it happens.

  • No! Marry me! j/k

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What Girls Said 4

  • I don't see why you shouldn't give him a chance. I mean, one date definitely won't hurt. At least then you can really figure out how you feel about the whole thing. You never know, he might be the one lol. You know what they say, "it's better to regret something you did than regret not doing it". If you're still not interested after getting to know him better, you can at least close that chapter for good.

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  • Definitely give him a chance! He's earned it and since you never mentioned not finding him attractive, it could be great! I hope you give us an update. I love these stories. ❤️

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  • Give it a chance because you are truly interested in trying to find a new meaningful relationship with him not because you pity him for his frequent efforts.

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  • This is all bullshit if you're not interested in him don't give it tell him to fuck off

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