Would you date a single mom/dad?

As a single mom I've found dating to be difficult. So I'm wondering how many would date a single parent? If no, why not?

Updates:
Thanks for your responses! Most of you gave answers that I expected, unless you were one who blamed the mother for being a single mom.. It takes 2 people to make a baby. If they break up, no one's at fault it just didn't work out. Also inaccurate is that we're looking for that other parent for our kids. At least for me this is wrong. My son gets his male influence from his grandparents, uncles, cousins, etc. My man knows his only place is to be his friend, not his father or father figure.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm married with kids.

    If I were divorced, I'd definitely date a single parent. I'm used to (and like) kids, and doing family oriented stuff stealing adult time when they're asleep. That's life for me, and I'd be most compatible with someone where that's their life too.

    If I were single and 25 and had no kids, knowing what i know, would I? Probably not.

    Kids are a -big deal-. They change your life a lot. Seriously dating someone with kids is a big step that I probably wouldn't choose to take if I weren't at that stage in my own life.

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What Guys Said 34

  • "If they break up, no one's at fault it just didn't work out."

    Mostly, this is NOT true, but this very attitude is why many men don't want to date single moms.

    See, the truth is that people of both sexes frequently get into relationships without any real care or attention paid to compatibility - many do it strictly based on emotion. That's bad enough it itself, but when they then have a child with that person, it shows a pattern of poor decision-making. Why would I want to date someone with a pattern of poor decision-making - especially about really important, life-altering decisions?

    Sure, even the best people get fooled sometimes, but that's the exception to the rule. In most cases, people were foolish and immature when they got together with this other person, and neither were really committed to the relationship, so it's no surprise that the relationship didn't survive the birth of a child.

    Obviously, if a woman was a widow (her husband died/was killed through no fault of his own), then what I wrote above doesn't apply.

    Anyway, you also have to realize that many people don't want an "instant family." They want to be a COUPLE, and do "adult" things as a couple. When you have a child, you have to sacrifice a lot of that, and for those who don't have kids, it's hard to choose to do that when you don't have to.

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    • I definitely disagree. You could be married to someone for years and then divorce because you're no longer compatible. When most people date, you're not immediately given a compatibility test or a list of all of their flaws. You're gonna find stuff out over time. Which is why I said no one is at fault bc what once worked no longer does. People change over time too so everything you once knew about that person could have changed completely. To say that someone makes poor decisions bc they chose to take a chance and get to know someone without the above mentioned tests is what's foolish. Would you tell someone who had been married for ten years, had a child with that person then divorced, that they were foolish for not knowing that ten years after being married the relationship wouldn't work bc of a flaw that person hadn't yet developed? My point is, people take risks for a chance at love.

    • That's true, but also the exception rather than the rule. If it wasn't, we wouldn't have a 55% divorce rate.

      In far more cases, little if any real thought was given towards compatibility, or things like having similar values and morals. Of course you don't have the answers to these things on the first date, but these things should have been heavily explored and investigated before you got married or had children in my opinion.

    • So again it's no ones fault. Unplanned pregnancies happen. I bet a lot of those who complain about unplanned pregnancies would have a fit if instead of becoming single parents we aborted our children. Adoption isn't a reasonable option for a lot of women bc of how hard it would be to carry and bond with a child for 9 months and then give it to someone else. So I mean as single parents, moms especially, we can't catch a break from society bc of people judging us for not aborting our children. But I don't know

  • I usually wouldn't, due to the following reasons:-

    1) The dad of the kid is somehow still in the picture, in most cases. That's really off-putting.
    2) I don't think I could love someone else's child as my own, unless the kid was adopted. Otherwise, the child being her biological kid and not mine, would obviously make mom and child really attached to each other, and I'd feel left out.

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    • If you were a single parent would you want someone to not date you for these reasons?

    • Well... I would never put myself in a situation where I become a single parent. The only possible exception might be, the death of my partner. And I too am open to dating a single mom IF it is because of her partner's death.

      The second reason I specified, I may overlook if we are really compatible. But the kid's dad being in the picture, no way I'd be ok with it. And trying to remove him from the frame would be unfair on the kid as well.

  • Yes, I would definitely date a single mom.

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  • I wouldn't.

    I understand that the person is expecting to find not only a partner, but also a parent for their child.
    The problem in here rises that while woman is pregnant, man goes through an emotional roller coaster as well; we get used to the idea that we're going to become a father and it takes time for us to adjust to accept father's role. Take a look how many men dump women when she gets pregnant: they just fail to find love for a child, even though it's theirs.

    While if you're dating a single mom, you're kinda just given a child that not only isn't yours, but also a man never had time to develop some fatherly feelings and/or get used to the idea of being a father, therefore chances of being indifferent towards child is very high.

    Additionally, the child is going to be a constant reminder of a woman having previous men; it's not child's fault, but it's true.

    So I wouldn't date a single mom: I'll never accept that child as mine, so it's almost impossible I'd be able to take a real care of him. At the same time I also don't want to be a complete jackass by giving a woman false hope.

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  • I going to be honest, from a guy perspective I would be much more likely going to pick a woman without a child than a woman who has one. This is assuming all else being equal (looks, social, intelligence, chemistry... etc). If I have to put a ranking with 1 being 'I prefer to be somewhere else right now' and 100 being 'I will marry you right now!' then a child is like an automatic -15 with the possible ex add a -35.

    Why? Well the guy is not ready for a child. Especially a child who is not his. Most guys, in their 20s, like the idea of getting married then settle down and have a family. They don't want to go from a husband to a dad instantly.

    Older men are more inclined to upgrade himself into a dad but a 30-something guy is still a kid when it comes to responsibility of a dad.

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  • My usual answer:
    If I wasn't married, I'd date a single parent on two conditions :
    1. The children's dad and his mom are completely out of the picture: no visiting rights, no shared child education.
    I don't want to cope with a jealous ex.
    2. The children are some 4 years away from hitting puberty. The time needed for them to accept me. I don't want to cope with an adolescent playing me out against his/her dad and granny.

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  • No. Maybe if I were 34 instead of 24, I might, but at least for now, not a chance.

    1. The kid would always come before me, and that's a recipe for a failed relationship. And why the hell would anyone choose to be a third wheel like that?

    2. A constant reminder of the girl's past lover is around, daily.
    3. "You're not my dad!"
    4. If you act like a parent to a girl's kid, after a certain amount of time she can sue you for child support in some states.
    5. Why would any smart man spend his energy and money to raise another man's child?

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  • I would yes.
    It's not going to change who she is just because she has a child/children

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  • I dated a single mom. She used me for all the $$$ she could get, then forcefully re-inserted the kids deadbeat dad into the mix. She also told me that after we broke up, that her son was glad I was gone, and he resented me.

    I gave 5 years to this kid, and a huge amount of financial support to his mother. And all I got was depression and anxiety.

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  • if by "date" you mean id have sex with her for a few months or a year sure. if you mean "date" as in id seriously consider having a life with her no thats out of the question.

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  • Sure just as long as the ex isn't a menace

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  • Yes, I would if I were single. No objections at all; just finding time and space for each other might be more difficult.

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  • No... In super short terms it's too many problems for not enough rewards and too much potential danger.

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  • I believe the main issue here is. The relation ship will never be the focus. The kid will be, That's the issue, Unless your committing to being a parent your not going to jump in with a single mom or dad.

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  • No, at 20 I would not.

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  • I heard these situations are very mess

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  • I did, but it was mostly for the sex n nothing serious...
    I perhaps would date again if there is no jealous ex around..

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  • Don't want kids of my own, made sure that didn't happen. Definitely don't want kids of someone else.

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  • Probably not, no.

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  • In all honesty, NO! Sorry..

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  • HELL TO THE NEVER TO THE NO!!!

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  • Definitely not. I'd probably take a bullet first.

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  • I would because I think single moms are hot

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  • nope not my kids not my problem

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  • I will date her if she is hot and sexy

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  • Yes I would!

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  • no, cos kids suck.

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  • no, and i can't get how desperate or dumb some men are to take another man's kid especially if they had none of their own.. .

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  • Now you know why having sex at younger ages, is a bad idea, right?

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  • No.

    I don't want to be raising someone else's child.

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What Girls Said 16

  • If I were an adult, yes. Sngle parents are amazing. Do not ever think down abou that. You have patience and strength. You do the job of two people. You don't get a break. You are... Inspirational. If I fell in love with a man or woman with a child (of course if I were older) part of the reasons I love them would likely be thanks to this... Because it's amazing!

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  • A man is a lot more attractive holding a baby or playing with a little kid. BUT no. I'm at a stage in my life where a lot of my friends have toddlers and I get a bit jealous when my best friend can no longer grab coffee or go shopping with me because of the kid. Now obviously it is right that her priority is her kid. But it has still been a difficult adjustment for me. As such I don't think I could handle that mandatory second place priority in a relationship.

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  • Yeah I wouldn't mind at all. My older sister is currently in a long term relationship with a single dad and his daughter is now 8 years old and their relationship is going really well.
    I would however want to know the back story of why they split with their partner that they had the child with.

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    • Would knowing the story make much difference though? Since either way it didn't work out with that person.

    • Well it's because they had a child together. That's why it's different from any other "exes" they've had. Kids with split parents are usually not a good thing and I'd want to know the reason they split, and if I'm going to perhaps one day have kids with them as well I would wanna know that I can rely on this person to not split with me when I do.

  • I am not sure!

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  • Nope. At least not right now in my life. I'm way too young for someone like that.

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  • I'm a kid myself lol, I can't handle a kid, I would go with no unless I'm in my 30's or something, and still not sure if I would do it.

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  • I would but it kind of depends on the circumstances. I don't want a guy who has a child with a crazy ex. Also I feel like it would be more pressure because if their child doesn't like you then it's pretty much game over and that can be potential heartbreak. Plus, you have to be ready to step up as a parent. It's a lot of baggage to deal with and it can scare a lot of potential suitors off.

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  • I would date a single dad so long as the child's mother isn't full of drama and can co-parent like a functioning adult.

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  • I wouldn't if the kid isn't ok with it. My mom dated this loser a few years back and I really hated it. I wouldn't want the kid to be unhappy because of me.

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    • What if the child is a baby or toddler, too young to know otherwise?

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    • A baby would be too young to be affected by his parent kissing someone.

    • Yeah, I guess it's okay if it's a toddler.

  • No, I wouldn't. I don't want kids of my own and I certainly don't want to take care of someone else's kids.

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  • I don't consider children per se to be a deal-breaker. It depend on the kids & the family dynamics.

    If the kids were little hellions it would definitely be an issue.

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  • No I would not. Not even when I'm older.
    I do not want kids

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  • Honestly... no just because I don't want kids myself, my friend has the same problem she's 20 with a 5 year old and guys usually don't want to talk to her once she tells them... it's just more of a package to have.

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  • Unless the mother of the child is dead, because I don't want my partner to have contact with his ex...

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  • Not now in my life, maybe down the road. Maybe. It's definitely not an ideal situation, but it would possibly not deter me from seeing someone if I thought there was a real possibility of having a future together. But that's not even what I'm looking for right now in my life exactly.

    I think a bunch of factors make it harder and one of them is timing becomes more complicated. Like the other person has to be willing to possibly step into a parent-like role. There are definitely people out there who are, but I imagine it'd be more difficult.

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  • I dated a single father before, but I do not want to again any time soon. That might change if I'm still single and older, but currently am too young to deal with that.

    His son, who was 2 years old, grew attached to me and wanted to Skype with me every night before bed. When the dad slept with another woman, I could not be in a relationship any more. I feel terrible for his son, who was sweet and innocent... I'm gone from his life now and his dad told me he keeps asking for me. I couldn't go through something like that again.

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