How do I talk to my boyfriend about how he always cancels plans?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 months and we try to hang out as often as we can. We try to get together at least 2 times a week, but he has to cancel or doesn't show up, or is really late usually once a week. How do I talk to him about it, but not seem like I'm super angry? I'm just annoyed because I make sure I set aside time to see him and it doesn't feel like he always does the same for me.

I just told him it's fine and that he didn't do anything wrong.


What Guys Said 2

  • You did wrong, it's not fine. Saying it's fine will not make him change. You don't like what he's doing, so say it. You're together, you need to feel cared for, just like he wants to feel cared for, it's a two-way street. You're putting effort, something he doesn't, and you have your own life, you can't put other plans on hold to see him, and then he never shows up. To me, that's disrespectful, it's a sign that he doesn't take you too seriously, takes you for granted, and a sign that he thinks he's more important than you, instead of equally important.

    Unless he has some personal issues, which will be understandable, he shouldn't be cancelling plans, or not showing up when you guys meet up.
    Go to him and tell him it's not fine, be honest.

    • But I don't know how to start that conversation or what to say at all without sounding like I'm not understanding

    • Just come up to him and say something like "Hey babe, I'd like to spend more time with you, but most of the times you cancel and that bothers me, I don't know what's wrong, why you always cancel."
      You're not coming off as irrational, you're actually trying to understand why of is behavior. Don't get defensive from the beginning, don't be like "you don't like me anymore?" "Did I do something wrong?" and similar stuff.
      Don't assume, just ask.

    • That actually helps a lot. Thanks so much!

  • Try and explain to him that your making a real effort by being there on time and sticking to plans but you feel that he is not. Tell him how you feel. what have you got to loose


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