What do I say/do to make my boyfriend feel loved and less insecure?

My boyfriend of a year and a half, worries constantly about guys in my past.

I have never felt this way about anyone else before. He is my best friend and I love everything about him. But he is very insecure, so he has a hard time seeing how I could possibly feel that way about him.

He is stubborn, so whether he'll actually believe or listen to me when I say sweet things is kind of hit or miss.

His #1 love language is physical affection and we just recently started to get a bit more physical, which I think helps. But we both have agreed to wait to have sex until marriage due to religious beliefs, so it can't go TOO far.

Any ideas of things I could say besides the obvious "I love you," or of things I could do to show him how much he means to me?

Girls with experience in this type of situation, what did you say/do? Did it help?

Guys, what would make YOU feel good about yourself and loved?


What Guys Said 2

  • Try to understand why he is worried about guys from your past. If you are still in touch with them, that might make him feel uncomfortable. Saying sweet things is good, but trust is the most important part of a relationship. As a guy, what would make me feel good is to know that my girlfriend is fully comitted, and not chatting with past love interests.

    • Okay, thank you. I do understand, but I don't know how to fix it. I stayed in contact with them for the first month or so of our relationship and I think that reaaally bothers him. I didn't like them like that any more, we were just friends. But once I realized how much it bothered my current boyfriend I cut them off completely and have not paid any attention to them ever since. I love him. The past is in the past and I can't do anything about it. :(

  • Initiate whatever physical touch you two are comfortable with. Frequently. Plan it. Make it a priority. That's what makes him feel like you really want him.

    • Thank you! I will definitely do that. Sadly I had to move an hour and a half away, which makes comforting him especially difficult! But I am headed back there on Thursday :)

What Girls Said 0

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