I think guys don't like me because I'm not this girly, extraverted, yappity, bouncy, talkative, fun girl that guys like?

I'm 21. I go to this private college.. And I literally have not made one friend in the 3 years I have been here. Many acquaintances.. A lot of guys only view me in a sexualized way because I have a curvy, this waisted body and a pretty face. But honestly, I don't think they like anything else about me, and whatever they do like is just something they project onto me. I really keep to myself.. I don't like giving my mental or physical self to just anyone and I desire strong relationships and friendships... I don't like weak bonds that just fill time and space.

I dont think guys like me because I'm quiet and it takes a while for anyone to get to know me. I compare myself to other chicks, and they are so talkative, young, fun... And I just keep most of it in. When I'm with my friends from home or by myself, I am a real great deal of fun and I am funny and vibrant. But here, and with others, something drains me. I think I come off as boring and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone. There's this guy I've been talking to and I think he doesn't like me anymore because I'm not this talkative, initiative, flirty girl who is into cool dude things and drinks or parties on weekends. We've only hung out twice, which for me isn't a lot to open myself up to, but now I feel guilty and boring for how I presented myself.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop feeling guilty about how u r or how u choose to present yourself to the world
    As for friends well ull find them, eventually all it takes is a fuckup and then people will come to u.
    In the meanwhile make friends here and spend time with them

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't feel bad or guilty for any of this. You can only be yourself. I am a quiet person, and sometimes I feel that people do not like me because they think I'm stuck up. Which I'm not. I just have a hard time talking to people sometimes. I'm shy and sometimes when I am around people who talk a lot, it can be hard to be a part of the conversation. People I know talk about people I do not know so how can I be a part of that conversation? Plus, I'm a better listener.

    But please do not feel bad. You just need to find a guy who is willing to take the time to get to know you. I find there are a lot of people who either don't care to get to know people or who won't take the time to get to know someone. They would rather just jump into things or not really have anything real. That's fine, but there are still those out there who will take the time and be patient.

    Keep being yourself. You are not boring. I used to think I was boring, but so many people have told me I am not. You just need to stop feeling bad about being yourself. There is nothing wrong with who you are :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like you don't put yourself out in a position to ever make friends. A lot of my closest friend ships that are now running almost 20 years started out as what you term "weak bonds". You have to start out that way and then work to strengthen those bonds.

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  • so go ask that guy to get a bite to eat or something

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What Girls Said 2

  • A lot of people will tell you not to change, but I want you to ask yourself something: is this quiet person who you REALLY are or a person you are BEING for the sake of protecting yourself?

    You're vibrant and fun around people you trust, this suggests to me that you aren't at all a dull, boring person - you're just a cautious, slightly un-trusting one. It seems like you may be quick to judge people's interest in you (e. g. assuming people look at you sexually and not emotionally) and that you may be holding back a bit. It might be difficult and I completely understand your hesitance, but if you constantly make a conscious effort to fade into the background it's going to make it extremely difficult for a guy to get to know you. Unfortunately, we don't live in the old days were men alone were relentless pursuers, now a days guys are beginning to expect girls to initiate and show at least some interest in them, otherwise they may not be viewed as worth the time. It may not at all be that guys don't find you worth dating, it could just be that you haven't given them enough to work with to know whether or not you're even truly compatible.

    Ultimately, my suggestion is to try to be a LITTLE more open; it's hard and it's scary, but look at it this way: if you try it and it doesn't work out, at least you didn't just roll over and give up before it started. And if it does, it could really pay off.

    I'm not saying become a party girl, but try to be the initiator once in a while: talk to a guy, suggest something fun you two could do, maybe try making more friends outside of the ones you have (making connections, am I right?), you might just be surprised at how good it feels to let people see the other side of you.

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  • If it's bothering you that much why don't you talk to them? Why wait for them to come to you?

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