Is it okay for a female to have a side man?

My boyfriend is who I love and im not ready to leave him because he trully cares for me but he doesn't fullfill me in ways my friend does but my friend don't seem like he want to pursue me in a more serious level I ask him about being a side man n he was like ok I know how to stay in my lane n a way I was happy then I was like I wanted him to want more from me I don't know what to do because I do like him


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stay faithful

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    • I am me n bad had a talk up to him to step up... I do anything to make him happy I feel like I deserve the same treatment... he is kind of selfish

Most Helpful Girl

  • Anyone who knows me on GAG, @Junebaby23 knows me as a Sharp and Straight shooter who never points fingers. And with what you have said here, dear, it seems you may want your Sweet cake and eat it Two but sometimes in life, that may include strife, we always cannot have it Both ways most days.
    You say you love 'My boyfriend' but with him not fulfilling you the way you may want nor need, you have had thoughts of leaving him but you are 'Not ready,' so with this being said, this idea is Not going to totally leave your own Head nor be put to bed because you will always have thoughts of Cheating on him because you are Not a happy camper.
    Don't start a "Friends with benefits" with some side dish that is not a Good deal, not even a Full meal because he doesn't want to have anymore in Store but a 'Like ok,' and you may end up regretting it by possibly losing Who does really Love you and probably loves You... Unconditionally.
    If you want to pursue any other grounds with another, break it off with your SO or take a Break and find out what may or may not make you satisfied. And it might not hurt to try and sit down with your own honey and come to some sort of compromise as to how to spice things up so you do not end Up... Flubbing up.
    You Need to find out which End is Up and do You... Love him unconditionally?
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 19

  • It's not okay for women to have a side man or men to have a side woman. If you're betraying your partner's trust, you're a bad person. The fact that you're framing this as if your only moral dilemma here is whether it's appropriate for a female, and how to work this out most conveniently for you, not whether it's fair to your boyfriend, is sickening. If you're not satisfied with your boyfriend, then leave him and find someone who does satisfy you. Don't cheat on him. You're being incredibly selfish.

    Also, a comma or period here and there does a world of good.

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  • Faith in humanity dropped like a rock.
    It's people like you that make society the shitty place it is today.

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  • You know, it's people like you who make guys not take girls seriously. And honestly, I'm not that surprised for you to consider this.

    Most girls, unfortunately, will leave a relationship when they "feel" they are not getting any benefit out of it. And this is exactly what you are saying. You feel pity for your boyfriend because he truly cares about you, but you have no remorse in considering leaving him just like that and run with the other guy, just because you feel this guy can give YOU something your boyfriend can't. Doesn't this sound remotely selfish to you?

    It's not a new event to see girls walk out of relationships without caring for their partner and without wanting to fix and work stuff in the relationship. Out of what? Pure selfishness. You are only thinking about yourself and that will hit you back like a boomerang later in life.

    With that said, do it I guess. Wreck your boyfriend and what you guys have, and get into your friend's pants until you don't need him anymore and someone who seems to offer a better deal comes along at another point in your life. In the end, this selfish and careless way of thinking will get you nowhere.

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  • No it is never a good idea to have a 'side man'. This combination is an express ticket to disaster. I know of no sane man who would be willing to share his girlfriend or wife. (Not impossible, but highly unlikely.)
    Ask yourself how you would feel playing second fiddle to another woman!

    You need to make up your mind. Decide which of these men would make a better and more secure prospect for the future, not just when you are young.

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  • Just think about these things...-
    1. will your guy friend dont think that ur a slut that even after having a boyfriend ur fucking around.
    2. ur cheating ur current boyfriend, as u dont want to leave him but also want to get fucked by other guy.
    3. After ur lust is fulfilled, just imagine how complicated the situation will become,
    4. u will lost both - ur boyfriend, and ur friend.
    So DONT do this... either breakup with ur boyfriend or leave ur friend.

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    • I'm not fucking my friend I stop n told him I had a boyfriend he don't care but I do... its not just sex how he fulfill me we have a lot more in common like convo mindset we go out together n etc my boyfriend is not like that he more to his self n he more so of just him getting please he kind of selfish but I love him I can't help how I feel but I talked to him n its up to him to make a move... I'm just see what happens longs as I told him what wrong I did my part

  • So you like the guy who just wants you sexually, and the guy who likes you emotionally can't please you sexually.

    Well if everyone knows and is in agreeance then you at least have integrity, but it doesn't sound like it will end well seeing as you have feelings for the one guy who doesn't share them with you.

    You should probably just leave the guy who can't please you and find someone who can who also wants a serious relationship, or talk with the guy you're with to try and work on what you can do so he can please you.

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  • No, it is never okay.

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  • Don't try it. You are feeling is lust. It will go away once you start being patient. So stay with him.

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  • Try it for a bit and see if it works out

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  • So you have already cheated on your boyfriend... anyway it's best to have a side-man, when you have only a casual relation with other guy too, but I don't know your circumstances and situation and whether you believe in monogamy or not so you have to take this decision by yourself

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    • No I haven't I broke it off with my friend i told him i was n a rship he don't like it but he respect it but he still want to b n the pic its hard because I was single n I both meet them sort of round the same time he has a lot more in common with me then my boyfriend but he is scared to get n a rship I don't got time to wait on him... I just started dating my boyfriend a week ago he always told me no he dont want a rship with me then he got jealous somebody else had my attention n want to b together I gave him a chance cause I love him its just really crazy

    • I don't know what you mean, but if you think that side man fucks better and satisfies you more than dump your boyfriend, it will save you a lot of headache...

  • Please use a full stop. Reading that in my head is really fucking exhausting

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  • People always label others.. people HAVE to be loyal, people can ONLY have ONE partner. I think it is BS and people should decide what they want... like how animals live, date who you want and when you want. I am happy I found a partner who's ok with that!

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  • If your guy doesn't please you either work it out with him or leave him. Don't resort to cheating.

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    • Yeap sounds good to me I told him what I wanted so if he can't make me happy I'm just gone leave because I always do anything to make him happy in i need somebody who gone go the same mile for me...

  • This is a joke, right? LOOOOOOOOL. Just break up with your boyfriend, please. You don't really love your boyfriend.

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  • Well that's not optimal but go ahead.

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  • So you want both parties at once, be careful you can finally end up with nothing

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    • I agree its qualities I like n both of them but can't have them both sooo I'm just gone ride this out

  • sure its only fair!

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  • You're fucked up... I swear people get more idiotic as the years go by

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    • No you fucked up you could've kept your comment to yourself don't attack my character cause you dont know me from a can of paint so bye lance

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    • LANCE IS THE RANDON MAN NOBODY CARES ABOUT!! Are you GOD no so you have no right judging nobody... n I'm not cheating on my man I asked a question that necessarily mean I'm doing it goodbye

    • Why would you ask this question in the frist place? You clearly dont love your man. YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP. C ya, Felicia

  • He's not pursuing ou because of your boyfriend. Don't you get it, he likes you, but realizes that you won't break it off with your fb. Besides, if you're willing to cheat on your fb, who's to say you wouldn't cheat on him... It's funny, don't girls complain about guys cheating all the time?

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What Girls Said 10

  • Having a side anything is just wrong.

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  • How would you see it if your BOYFRIEND had a 'side girl' ? I'm pretty sure that you will get jealous or angry... Why? Coz u love him and trust him... So he loves you and trusts you , you can't just have a 'sude guy' that's never healthy in a relationship coz it WILL end up bad... So its or you forget about that idea, talk with your boyfriend and tell him what you want more from him, or just leave your boyfriend ( which will be hard ) , that's what I PERSONALLY THINK

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  • This is crazy! I feel sorry for your boyfriend

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  • No, it makes you look incredibly slutty.

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  • If it's an open relationship, then it's just as okay for a female to have someone on the side as a male--but if your boyfriend doesn't know you're doing this, then you're cheating. That is not okay, regardless of gender.

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  • having a side man or side chick is wrong

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  • I think you can do what you want but in the end it is wrong. If you really love d your boyfriend you'd just let him go instead of cheating on him. He will be more devastated he found out you cheated on him than if you broke up with him. Or maybe you should try to make it work with him or talk to him about how you are feeling, if that doesn't work than don't try to stay with him and force a relationship that is obviously not satisfying you.

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  • As long as her boyfriend is OK with it. (Otherwise it's cheating and that's not cool for either girls or guys). You should look up "polyamory" and "consensual nonmonogamy". It's not that uncommon

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  • No thats a thot

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  • When is it seen as "ok" to cheat?

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