Maybe you ladies have your own perspective... but I am a guy... so I am looking at this from a guy's perspective. I feel like dating is totally worthless, and it seems like women want that "insta-chemistry"! I typically hear women say the following:
-If you want my attention, you need to say something interesting
-If you can't make me laugh, you're not good enough for me
-If you're not this height, aren't a sapiosexual (the whole list of requirements), I don't want to talk to you
In addition to that, if you are lucky enough to score a date, I have noticed that for a lot of guys, there's no 2nd date. Why? Perhaps everything went right, but there was no "insta-chemistry".
Or... I also noticed... when you approach a woman and you are kind, not trying to get into her pants and acting like a gentlemen, she seems bored with you and acts cold (I have seen this happen quite a few times and it has happened to me as well).
What's the point of dating these days?
- YesVote A
- NoVote B
- Not Really SureVote C
Most Helpful Girl
Yeah I'm not like any of the women you described and not all women are, it's the ones you're meeting. The issue with saying "women do x, y, and z" and taking it for fact is that you are limiting your own options. Dating is not easy. Men may think it's easy for women, but in truth we just have more options. Yeah, lots of guys approach us, but that doesn't mean we're compatible with them and half of them only want sex anyways. It's rough all around.
However, what I will acknowledge is that there is truth that a lot of women have unrealistic dating expectations when it comes to men due to social conditioning. The trick really is to just be your best self and hope you find a girl who feels the same way you do. There's no trick, there's no "get girls who actually like you quick" guide. It's trial, error, trial, error, trial, error - or just plain give up.3
Most Helpful Guy
In short, the women who do that aren't for you. There are 7.5 billion people on this planet, the slight majority being women (if that's still statistically correct). Just because 1, 2, 5, 10, or 20 have those preferences (height, weight, facial symmetry, penis size, annual salary) doesn't mean that all of them do.
But I'm in the same boat. I had a very successful dating stint from middle to high school (and one of those few 'asked them over social media' success stories). I have had 4-5 relationships, and I gotta say it felt easier back then. Something just clicked and I was off. I haven't changed to much as a person since then. Maybe I gained a few new interests and quite a few pounds, but at the core I'm still the same guy. Just a combination of trying to find the right people and lacking confidence.
Plus people can pick up on that. Fuck those preferences. If you are confident, love yourself, and have a passion for something and a positive personality, women will be more attracted to you.1