Why do men and women complain about the people who want a financially stable partner?

I noticed recently that a lot of people get salty over a person who wants someone who is financially stable. Yes, some people take it over board (ex: "If you don't have a hefty bank account than I ain't interested")- that statement is over the top. However, why is it that if a man or woman wants a partner who is financially supportive and stable, they get bashed on for it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know it's terrible, it's like how I get bashed for wanting a woman that hasn't been serviced by a double digit amounts of dicks, servicing more dick than a clinic. There's nothing wrong with wanting a financial stable partner providing you are also financially stable and have money to throw on the table. If you don't, then you don't warrant such a man.

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    • But that doesn't actually make sense. If you want X you shouldn't necessarily need to have X else what's the point in wanting X?

    • Thanks for MHO.

Most Helpful Girl

  • There's nothing wrong with that. I also would like my partner to be financially stable. No need to be rich, just need to have the bills paid. Any extra after that is always nice, but I'm simple.

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    • I'm glad I could be helpful. The anonymous girl at the bottom kind of summed up some other thoughts I have on the issue.

What Guys Said 12

  • It's a reaction to all the man-bashing, equality chanting, sexuality shaming circulating around. Women want financial stability and act as if that's a reasonable thing (which it is, don't get me wrong), but then bitch about men wanting a housewife or when they only care about a woman's looks. It's favouring one gender's perspective over another, and since men seem to have very little forums to address their perspective on any issue without being shamed for it (being called cry babies, being mocked with 'male tears' insults, etc), they naturally come online and vent their frustrations/explode in either violence or vocal protest.

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    • I personally can't stand reading about financial stability in a partner because the people who are typically discussing these sorts of things are entitled females who won't live up to their expectations and demand to be exempt from their traditional roles. It's like people don't understand that there cannot be two bosses for one job, either the man leads or the woman leads.

    • That is bashing... saying that women who seek a financially secure male partner are "entitled females".
      What if the female is one that does not subscribe to a lot of feminist ideology? What if she enjoys traditional views and gender roles? Is that a bad thing?

    • @NatoriBella Then she is not the type of female that I am describing and shouldn't feel offended by my opinion.

  • It's shallow. I wouldn't trust or like anybody that's motivated by money. Most of this world's problems stem from it

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  • Wait, who is complaining about this?

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  • because the thought different way

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  • If that's what they want, then fine. Personally, I could care less about her bank account.

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  • Because they are leeches. Parasitic bloodsuckers.

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  • only women do.

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    • ... and usually the ones who approach 30s...

      ... let's have a look how old is OP...

      Age: 29

      OK.

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    • not a rich man, but a man who'll pay for everything.

    • Right. Cause you know me. Thanks for telling me a fun fact about myself.

  • Generally women want that person to have more money than them which is the problem. It's ok to expect them to have around as much but numerous people demand that he has more

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  • Men don't look for this, in general. Women use it as code for 'a guy who earns as much -or more- than I do or has reasonable prospects of doing so soon'.

    Men resent being told they must be equal to women in all things while still maintaining traditional extra responsibilities.

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  • Firstly, let's be honest about the fact that this is very much a gender specific issue. It is women who seek "financially stable partners", and men who resent it. Because honesty is a big part of the problem here. This is an issue about which women have largely been very dishonest.

    Secondly, men resent this piece of female nature because women have been all about "equality equality equality" for a long time but yet men are STILL expected to be the primary earners and our value is STILL based largely on our earning power, because that is the other side of the coin that women don;t care about in the whole equality thing. Women have every opportunity today to earn just as much as men today, but they CHOOSE not to and then complain that the reason women earn 85% of what men earn is sexism.

    When I say choose, I'm talking about the fact that, on average, women choose less challenging and less lucrative career paths, they choose to study frivolous majors in college more often than men, they choose jobs with more flexible hours over higher paying ones, they choose to work fewer hours than men and they choose to remove themselves from the workforce for extended periods.

    The bottom line is that women SAY they want to erase gender roles but then they only apply that to the ones that they don't like. They are more than happy to hang on to the ones that benefit them at the expense of men.

    Now, if you can, try to honestly put yourself in men's shoes for a moment and ask yourself how you would feel about that whole scenario. Most of this would be much easier for men to swallow if women would just be more honest. About what women want for themselves and what they want from men. It's really the dishonesty that is so off putting.

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    • Oh no, I completely agree with you. I was just wondering what everyone's view point was.

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    • @nalaa

      "I don't know why men don't care about it, they should"

      We don't care about it because it's not what men value in women. At our cores, women value in men the traits that will make them a good provider and father, and men value in women traits that will make them a good mother and wife. Those preferences are in our genes and they don't go away just because we live in a modern world.

    • @nalaa

      "I just don't see why they judge for wanting someone who is my equal in that regard?"

      Also, in most cases it is not their equal that women want (hypergamy). This is where the honesty I mentioned comes into play.

  • I'm 21, so I know people in my age range do not have large sums of money (which is not a deciding factor in whether or not to date someone). I do however want to be with someone who is fiscally responsible. I'd much rather be with "a poor queen" than a "money rich fool."

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  • I respect that request, perhaps because I am the same type of person. I know I will make good money in my career, just because I make good choices, but when looking for a woman career outlook is pretty important to me, I would prefer if she was studying medicine, engineering, finance/business, or one of the sciences that way she will definitely get a job, but I suppose since I make good money as is that isn't as much of a requirement as it could be.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Because it's hard to BE financially stable right now and people get frustrated at things they see as roadblocks to being in a relationship.

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  • Well, most of the people who complain about that don't have financial security themselves, so they feel put at a disadvantage.

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  • They just don't want be taken advantage of!

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  • It's a sign of the times. Before 1970 or so (don't quote me), women were mos seem as stay at home mothers and men the sole snd main breadwinners, so it was looked upin as ok for a woman to seek out financial stability in a mate. Feminism, more women in the work place, changing ideologies about dating and/or marriage attributes to the bashing of women who seek a financially stable mate.
    In the case of men who seek financial stability, I believe that no matter the chronological date, the very definition of masculinity often rests in a man being protector, provider, etc...
    All in all, don't worry about what people say, do what's best for you. There will always be people with opinions, whether favorable or not.

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  • Well... for me, I would like to have a financially stable partner so we will be able to support our family in the future. Able to buy a decent house for our family to live in and have enough to buy food too. Literally, it's hard to not have enough money to buy all those kinds of things when you are poor. I have some of my relatives in the Philippines (a very poor country) and half of them live in some places that they only have a roof, walls, and only one bed for their whole family to sleep in. They barely have enough money to buy food for their children. So, I kind of have this fear of not being able to provide these basic things if I have a family in the future... That's why I would like to have a financially stable partner.

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  • I don't know. I just ignore them.

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  • I don't think people really get bashed for wanting a financially stable partner. I would think most people would want that. There is a difference between wanting a financially stable partner and wanting someone who will financially support you.

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