Hey guys. :)
I've been wondering about something... This guy likes me, but the other day we spoke, I noticed something, well, not so good. It was a red flag to me...
He said that men want variety & that he supports the Muslim culture (no offence), where the men have several wives. Each wife gets to spend an equal amount of time with the husband, which makes it fine.
I took it that he's not in the right phase of his life & he's not prepared to open up his heart to one woman. I understand that men's testosterone levels are over x10 more than that of women, so was he just telling the truth, or do you think there's more to it?
It turned me off... He was married for a long time, but he's divorced now.
Most Helpful Guy
I think more than anything, this tells you about the nature of his relationship to his first wife, and more significantly, the circumstance and aftermath of his divorce.
Do not confuse envy with desire.
I do not think he desires multiple wives. In the western ideal if marriage, that's way, way too much work. A marriage that was conservatively domestic and only modestly sexual could also be polygamous. A marriage where each partner is a true friend and lover is going to require very much more attention be paid between those involved.
What he sees in a polygamous marriage is the absence of the circumstance of one woman having the power to destroy his sexual and family life.
You should take this remark of his as a lead in to talk about his divorce, his thoughts on his marriage, how it failed, what he has learned and how he will apply it. That is a more useful discussion than peering into a throwaway remark regarding marriage in the Muslim world.0