30 years old and never had a long term relationship?

It bothers me to say this but it's true. None of my relationships lasted very long. While I have a sexual history and experience, my relationship history is practically non existent. Would this be seen negatively by other girls because I lack a dating history at age 30?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm 30 too so I know how you feel. No, I wouldn't be turned off if you were to disclose that to me. I would think you weren't ready for one at the time or hadn't clicked with the girls you had briefly dated. You don't really have to give the woman you date a resume of your dating history. They don't have to know every little detail. Best of luck!

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    • You're 30, but your profile says 26?

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    • @Alwaysthere85
      Thanks I appreciate that. I sure hope every 30ish girl thinks like you. My real reason for having so little dating success is my crippling fears of rejection, along with the anxiety inducing ADHD medication which intensified those fears. Now the thing that is crippling me in the dating world is my unemployment and being fired from a job I loved.

    • Believe me, not everyone in their late 20s or 30s will care about your dating history 😉 It's irrelevant as long as you're a great guy with a good conversation. I understand your fear of rejection. I've been rejected so many times before as well. When you're dating forget about rejection. If a person rejects you then it wasn't meant to be. I say, pick up a hobby or two so you have other things going in your life. Don't just focus on the possibility of rejection. Next, go out into the dating world and be yourself. You sound like a great guy, so I doubt you'll have trouble. If you're rejected don't look at it as a negative. Think: "This is the universe's way of letting me know to move on". Then you can chalk it up to experience. Same with the job you lost... the universe it attempting to push you elsewhere. Best of luck 😄

What Girls Said 18

  • I'm the same. I used to worry about it, until I started really listening to reasons most people stay in relationships so long. most are just forcing it, staying for all the wrong reasons. I'm glad now I've never settled on someone I wasn't feeling it with.

    don't worry about it too much. just date more until you find someone worth your time. (:

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  • I'm 28 but I'll be 30 in two years and I've never had a relationship at all. So, I don't think you have anything worry about. And, if the girl likes you enough I can't see why that would be a big deal.

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  • I am 25 and never had a long term relationship either. Unlike you , I never had any sexual experience tho. I won't say you lack a dating history because you wouldve dated those girls at some point in the relationship but why did they all end? As a girl I won't see it as a negative, who knows, maybe they were all B*^$&s or it wasn't meant to be but I wouldn't just write you off like that.

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  • Well I guess it would depend why... were you just "playing the field" friends with benefits... how long was your longest relationship?

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    • 3 months was my longest. After that ended my friends and family all counted that as a fling, not a real relationship, they told me. But during that time I learned what being in love felt like. I haven't been very good in the dating field for lots of reasons, rejection and gossip being one of the,

    • Well I would say 3 months is a real relationship. Sometimes it's better not to have a lot of long term ones anyways.

    • Bro you beat me haha. My longest relationship was 1 month & 3 weeks loool. I'm only 21 tho..

  • I wouldn't care to be honest. I would probably never be into a serious relationship lol

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  • Personally, I only been in one very long term relationship, and have a very limited sexual history. I am sure that this would be viewed as negative from a lot. Your twenties are made for fun and excitement! To have many relationships! To determine what you want ( and don't want) in a partner. Everyone at some point will reach that point in their life where they want to settle down.

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    • I don't. I never want to have kids or get married but i do want a stabile girlfriend.

  • Lots of guys haven't been in long term relationship. Most that I've been with have only had like a year in a relationship. Whereas my longest is nine years. It's hard to explain how long term relationship take work at times when someone's not had one but it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

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  • No it's Okay...

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  • It might bother me a little but if I generally like the guy I would still give him a chance

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  • I would care...

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    • in a positive or negative way?

  • No, just haven't met the right person. :)

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  • That is not a deal breaker for most girls would not see it as an issue.

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  • I'm 33 & my longest relationship was 2 years. Frankly, I sort of think I'm broken in some way I can't figure out. But I'd be relieved to be able to talk with someone who let me be real about myself.

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  • maybe you need to love someone just dont care bout wich girl is hot or having good sex.

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    • I agree. I was in love once; it was one of the few times in my life where I achieved true happiness

  • I don't see how no long term relationship is worse than a couple of failed long term relationships /divorce plus a few kids by different mothers...

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  • to a lot of woman yeah it is seen negatively; like you have commitment issues or something and that is one thing women want: commitment. But there are women out there who won't be bothered by this, just be completely honest about your dating history

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    • Thanks for you honesty. Do you see this Asa. Negative trait for guys?

    • Nope

  • Haaa.. not surprised. Relationships are messed up these days

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  • How long was ur longest relations

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    • Barely 3 months. I never got to introduce her to the family. We fell for each other after a one night stand 8 years ago. I haven't been in love ever since

    • Look at kevin bacon, he was 30 when he met his wife and they r now 20 somth years together.
      Never too late

What Guys Said 15

  • I think you should be honest with yourself and do a thorough self-evaluation to assess improvement points.

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  • Yes, it is a negative, as much as someone who had been married and divorced 2-3 times by age 30.

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    • So all the people here who've said it's no big deal are lying?

    • I think so. Ask the girls who are 30 years old how many guys they have dated recently who had no experience in relationships. They are lying to be nice.

      However, you can easily cure this situation. You can find a girl who you like, date her for at least 4-5 months, and if the question comes up, tell her that you've never allowed yourself to get serious about a girl but you think it's time to change when you meet the right girl. Maybe you will fall for her. If not, find somebody else and you can say that you have some experience in longer relationships.

  • I personally would like to leave the sexual history and experience till after the "dating phase" is over. I'm sure some would deny what I'm saying is true or claim to not know what I''m talking about, lol. Because what you say is why people don't stay together. Sex first relationship and get to know each other second? You can do it but I don't recommend it.

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  • Fundamentally it would be seen as negative as you've the history of what one would call a "playboy" at first glance without the whole detail of your story or worse just someone who was undatable for one major set of reasons.

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  • Girls won't/shouldnt make a big deal about it unless you have been shagging hundred of women really. Don't worry about it man

    Experience doesn't matter if you have the talentn

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  • Just don't say that you do.

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  • The only thing who cares about your history are credit card companies. Dont tell nobody and nobody will know.

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  • yah it will

    are your parents good with each other?

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  • Shit i never had a relationship AT ALL and not by choice

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    • I'm in the same boat as you man, I feel you. However, it is mainly due to my extreme lack of confidence and low self-esteem that prevents me to easily ask out a girl. For the first time at the age of 21 I've asked out a girl, and unfortunately she was taken and can not stop thinking of her lol. I guess that here we can use the expression "shit happens".

      Do not lose hope I'm sure that someday, in a near future we'll get in a proper relationship. The longer the wait, the better will be the reward.

  • At least you have had some sort of relationship and have sexual experience, dude I am also 30 and never even had a close female friend, ni relationships and totally virgin.

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  • lol i haven't even kissed in your age, relationships are less of my concern... .

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  • I'm 27 and similar to you

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  • I'm more than half a decade older than you, and still have the same problem :(

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  • It may be seen negatively by woman looking to be married ASAP and are trying to beat "the clock" but just because you haven't had a serious relationship yet isn't indicative of anything bad. It doesn't mean you are a commitment phobe or have issues, you could have stayed single for many reasons. Maybe you hadn't met the right girl, ... just be open and honest. Let them know that you haven't been in a serious relationship before and explain why.

    answer mine please: girls-behavior/q1817496-i-m-super-friendly-approachable-but-either-i-scare-her-or-she

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