Before anyone judge, I'm 23 years old dating a guy 6 years older than me. He's my first boyfriend and everything is perfect. I accept him for the person he is but I find it hard to adapt myself into his lifestyle.
He has many friends... tons of friends. His phone list contain 3000 over number of different people and he often host parties, goes to parties, drink have fun and dance but never once cheated on me despite some girls coming on to him.
I'm an introverted girl who just love reading books and listening to music and I probably have less than 20 number on my contact list. My older twin sister is my best friend other than her I as a matter of fact, have zero friends.
I find it really hard with his partying lifestyle especially when he wants me to tag along to all the different parties as his partner. I find it uncomfortable whenever his fake friends come to his house and make a ruckus and there am I trying to read a book or do my things. I can't help but show my annoyance and I sincerely need advice from those who been through this before. I love him and accept him for who he is but I really hate the partying and even me knowing that he's going off to another party annoys the hell out of me.
Most Helpful Guy
They say extreme yin is attracted to extreme yang, eh! Both of you sound a bit dysfunctional, for entirely opposite reasons. I suppose you could benefit one another, you could be warmed up and allow yourself to let loose, he could cool down and learn to appreciate the virtues of staying in.
First things first, why does his partying annoy you? Fine, I have no doubt that some of the things are 'objectively' annoying, including the superficiality and the ruckus, but does any of it knead insecurities? It's helpful to learn about oneself in an honest fashion during those most aggravating moments. So is there any virtue in learning how to let loose some times, and try and be more outgoing?
As for him, is he sensitive and respectful towards your needs, does he do things just for the two of you, do you have alone and quiet time together, is him partying *all* the time even healthful? If not to any of those, why not?
If your lifestyles are genuinely incompatible, and you're not willing to communicate, have boundaries and the ability to change and be flexible, and learn from one another, then I see no reason to torture yourselves.0