Sex before making it official?

My friend & I sort of have a thing going on. We've had a thing for each other on & off for over a year. But for some reason he randomly stops talking to me for weeks & I'll reach out to him multiple times but will never reply & then suddenly he starts talking to me again like nothing. We've never gone on a date but we've hung out at a couple parks before & a party but at the party we kinda went our own ways. A month ago he slept over but nothing happened. We just cuddled after smoking & i laid there "sleeping" & he called off work the next morning to stay in bed w me. For some reason he never wants to go get food w me. He says he's always broke but he doesn't pay many bills & he works in construction but when it comes to buying alcohol he suddenly has money for it. Well I slept over two nights ago after him ignoring me for a week & he apologized saying he was busy so he couldn't talk to me (which is his reason every time) we made out & then he said he wanted to ask me something but then chickened out & I got him to say it. He asked if I wanted to do it. I stayed quiet after that & he was like "ugh thats so embarrassing why did you make me say it" & i told him to not be embarrassed but i never said yes or no lol. Then he asked two more times what my answer was & i told him i couldnt bc i was on my period & he said it was ok that he had condoms & could put a towel down. I've never had period sex & never could. I find it too messy. Well I wasn't really on my period but I was unsure about having sex with him. He then asked if i would have if i wasn't on it. I said yes, in case i ever change my mind the option is still there lol well after I left I went home & slept some more. Couple hours later i sent him a snap (snapchat) of my lunch or something? I just remember it being food. Well again he didn't reply & he hasn't said anything to me. I'm just wondering why he'd ask me that when we're not even really a thing or even close to being in a relationship.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Because he wants to have sex with you. Plain and simple. But you already see that he is not the least committed to you. So if you don;t mind giving it someone who really does not care for you, go ahead.


What Girls Said 1

  • I doubt you would be very official if you just sleep together. If that's something you want it's best to actually establish a relationship first.