Guys, I Need A Man's Opinion?

I don't like getting into relationships just to find out me and the guy I'm dating are hopelessly incompatible, way down the line. I would rather hand a guy a profile on me the second he asks me out, than having him waste time and money on a date. If he reads the packet, and sees that there are things about our likes, dislikes, preferences, views on life, etc. that don't match up, he will know very quickly that things probably won't work out between us.

However, if a guy reads it and finds that we have endless things in common, it would be a pretty good sign that we could have a long term relationship.

It would include things like: name, age, birthday, personality, diet (vegetarian, kosher, allergies, etc.), hobbies, talents, skills, likes, dislikes, culture, religion, politics, turn-ons, turn-offs, dealbreakers, whether or not I want kids, sexual boundaries and preferences, daily routine, career, personal style, measurements, my contact info

The only reason I have never made this "profile packet' is because I wonder how guys would feel about it. What would you think if you approached a girl to ask her on a date, and she told you to read a packet like this and get back to her? Would you think it was helpful? Would you think it was a great conversation starter for the date? Do you think it would save you time if she wanted something serious and you didn't? Or would you think, "This chick is crazy?" and be irritated that you have to do all that reading? What are your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would think she missed the point of dating. Half the enjoyment is finding these things out about each other. If you date someone they may be someone you needed in your life at the time but then you grow apart. That's not necessarily a bad thing. You both learn a lot about yourselves and meet beautiful people in the process. There is no amount of information that will tell you if you are compatible. You will only find that out by spending time together.

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    • I completely agree with everything you said! :) The only problem for me is that, I don't like the idea of a guy taking me out and buying nice things to impress me, basically wasting his money, just to find out that our lives are going in completely different directions, and we literally don't have anything in common. He loves everything I hate and hates everything I loves, and expects me to live a life I don't agree with once we're married.

      I think you can still get to know people, even when you already have a bit of information about them. The packet isn't the end-all-be-all of the relationship, just a basis. If he finds something in the packet that he feels makes me undateable, it saves me time. If not, and he doesn't violate my deal breakers, 1.) Respect my sexual boundaries 2.) Respect my beliefs and 3.) Respect my political views; then he can take me out, and we can get to know each other more as time goes on.

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    • Thanks for mho

    • You're welcome :)

What Guys Said 3

  • I think that most guys would assume that you are shopping for a husband and be put off by the exercise. However, what you described is essentially what happens when you do online dating like match or POF. Have you ever considered that avenue for dating? I am much older than you, of course, but I have had good luck with internet dating.

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    • I've considered it, but I guess I'm a bit more traditional, and want to meet someone in a public, rather than online. I like the idea of meeting a guy in a library or coffee shop or some place special, and being asked on a date. I may consider online dating in the future because it definitely has its perks, but I may wait a few years.

    • Some people look down on online dating as the last resort for losers, but it is not. I am currently dating a retired judge who I met online, and we are very compatible. We have been dating for 7 months now.

  • I'd like that. I spent a lot of money on dates that went nowhere. But I also see a problem with that. I can't speak for other guys, but my experience is that when you present girls with such a list (like you would on most online dating sites), they'll find some tiny detail they don't like and refuse to even go on a date with you. Girls are, in my experience, more inclined to settle for nothing less than perfection, so this kind of thing could ruin dating for all of us. But if it's only the girl who gives this profile to the guy before the date, I think it might actually work.

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    • I, the girl, would be the only one giving this profile to the guy before the date. I don't think I'm picky. As long he doesn't haven't a problem with my "dealbreakers" and the things listed about myself I would see where it goes. My dealbreakers aren't over the top or anything. They are pretty much just 1.) Respect my sexual boundaries 2.) Respect my beliefs and 3.) Respect my political views. I feel like if me and the guy aren't compatible on those basic levels, nothing else is going to work out.

  • I would think she is carzy. I wanna fall in love not go to a job interview as a date

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