I don't feel a "spark" should I stop dating him?

Usually when I 'like' a guy it's from physical attraction so basically just lust but not all make my heart skip a beat or give me butterflies.

It's sooo strange for me to Not be able to tell. The guy is cute but he's not hot nor my exact ideal type physically but so far I like his personality.

He's respectful more than most guys I've dated. I don't think he likes me a lot where I'm on a pedestal. Sometimes I wonder if he's even physically attracted to me.

HE HAS YET TO MAKE A MOVE. 2nd date and STILL NO KISS!

To be fair we met through a dating website


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Try one more date and see how you feel. If you still feel nothing, then cut him loose.

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    • That's my plan but I don't know if he'll ask me out. Last time he said 'I had a good time' so I said 'Likewise we should do it again soon, how about ice skating?'
      He agreed and that was our second date... but he didn't actually Ask me out ya know

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    • No, that isn't necessary. That would seem cold and final goodbye for sure, LOL!

    • Well I don't want him to think I was just getting a free meal! I enjoy being with him but there's just no sexual attraction. I see him as more than a friend since I find him physically attractive

Most Helpful Girl

  • I got dump because the guy didn't feel the spark* I guess you have to break the poor guys heart! Just do it and never talk to him again! It hurts like crazy when you invest your time on someone and they toss you out like garbage!

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    • Did y'all kiss? I don't wanna dump him yet until I know for sure.

      I like being around him and I'm not completely comfortable like around a friend

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    • ohh well mate your screwed! Just kiss a random guy at a club!

    • I'll try that ;)

What Guys Said 6

  • Only two dates means it is too early to tell. Next date, find an opportunity to say, "This is our third date and you haven't tried to kiss me yet. Does that mean you aren't attracted or you are just trying to be a gentleman and not offend me?" Once you kiss him, you'll know where you stand with your feelings about this guy.

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    • I'm not sure if there is a 3rd because he hasn't asked or suggested like last time

  • Maybe it'll take time for both of you to open up more and if he's inexperience, you should initiate because if he's the kind of guy that's like that, he may want to take things slow and thinks he's respecting your boundary that way. He probably doesn't want to mess it up either by being too direct or you know...

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    • I'm inexperienced too but I don't show it except I'm not gonna make the first move. I just flirt and make innuendos

  • If it frustrates you, why don't you make a move?

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  • Because he doesn't put you on a pedestal? How full of yourself could you be?

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    • Lol he acts indifferent like how else am I suppose to know when a guy really likes me?

  • Usually there has to be a spark right away, like, first date wise. Sounds like you're just dating to have someone

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    • No I never date around out of loneliness. I was fed up with the assholes in RL so I went online.

      I thought I was ready to date the right way but I keep longing for the assholes since I'm use to them

    • Ah yeah, tend to gravitate towards how your parents treat you

    • Ya I've heard that and I've worked a lot on myself to stay away from guys who treat me bad. I feel like my trust issues stem from my childhood but I'm trying to open up more. My self esteem isn't low anymore where I'm seeking validation from men.

      I'm more ready to date than before and I finally found a guy who is what I want. It's rare an attractive guy fits mg standards for boyfriend material. Most of the time I'm not physically attracted.
      The guy I'm dating doesn't have sex appeal so there's no "spark" or tension... I feel like IF we kissed I'd know 100% if I truly like him or not caz right now I'm confused

  • Go for a hot guy who gives you butterflies but who'll care about you less because he has other options so you mean less to him.

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    • That's how I use to be and I KNOW that's not what I need or want.

      I never kissed them but they hardly gave me attention to even talk to them.

What Girls Said 7

  • Well, it could be that he is just trying to be respectful and not move to fast with you. I think it's okay that even on the second date, he didn't try to kiss you. Have you two held hands at all yet? What types of dates have you gone on?

    If you met online, then you need some time to get to know each other. I wouldn't put too much pressure on him to figure out whether he likes you are not yet. Maybe he's still unsure and is just trying to make sure he likes you before making a move. I know in my case, I want to know for sure I like a guy before I do anything with him. Even kiss, because I don't like sending mixed messages.

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    • First date we didn't exactly plan anything. We walked around and found a cafe that had board games. I had a lot of fun because I hadn't played in sooo long and he taught me checkers.

      Second date I suggested ice skating. We held hands mostly but I kept falling so I guess he got annoyed and skated off. He always was near by on case to catch me if I fell.

      We talked but I felt like I was more aggressive or more interested because he seemed neutral or just quiet like he's holding back.

      We don't text much which is fine since we're both busy with college.

    • Awe, well I'm sorry to hear that. It doesn't sound like he's super interested then. I wouldn't worry too much though. There are plenty of guys out there. I would try meeting another guy. Don't be afraid to see other guys at this point. You aren't his girlfriend yet, so you are free to meet other people. I know when it isn't working out with someone I am just going on dates with, then I try to talk to some other people. It at least helps make me feel like it's not impossible to find someone. It takes time sometimes to really find someone who is going to click with you.

  • Lust is a firework. Love is a candle.

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  • He may be one of those who isn't trying to get physical right away. Those are a rarity.

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    • truly rare nowadays so i'm skeptical of his true intentions

  • Well maybe you need to get to know each other better to develop feelings or a spark

    Initial attraction doesn't always last or make a good relationship

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  • I think you should ask him how he's feeling maybe the missing spark is mutual

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  • Only a kiss will tell

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  • Maybe he's trying to gauge your interest and act accordingly

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