Guys, I'm extremely bothered by my boyfriend feeling bad for his ex?

So, I really don't like my boyfriend's ex. They were only together for three months, not like years, but she was the first girl to pay attention to him so she was "a special one". He got in trouble while dating her because they were selling weed together and he got caught. She didn't, and then the rest of the relationship from then on (about another month and a half) she told him she wasn't sure how much longer she could do it, and if they broke up she wanted to be friends.

Well me and him start dating about two months after they broke up and I find out she was trying to get back with him. He didn't entertain it.

He blocked her, which I wanted him to, but I was surprised the other day when he mentioned feeling bad and wanting to unblock her. He said it bugged him while he was in work release. He said it probably bothers her when she tries to message him and sees that she's blocked and he feels bad because of their mutual agreement to remain friends if they broke up. He also feels bad for blocking her mom because she was nice to him or whatever. I know how he is, he's a lot like me and he's very kind hearted and sees the good in everyone.. So he sees the good in her despite the trouble and grief and stress she caused him and he feels she didn't intentionally hurt him. He was also talking about feeling bad for breaking up with her drunk and how it shouldn't have ended that way, which also upsets me that he said that.

anyway, after our talk I put my feelings inside (that he knows of) and told him I don't care if he unblocks her. But he said he doesn't feel guilty anymore and feels better after our talk. He never intended on messaging her or wanting to talk to her, but just so she wouldn't feel upset seeing she was blocked and he said he understands why I'm scared and would never go see her alone..

so so am I ridiculous for feeling worried he might still have feelings? It's bugging me so badly


What Guys Said 1

  • I feel that the root of this is trust. If you fully trust him to stay faithful to you and his current lifestyle this wouldn't be an issue. I am still friends with my ex and we dated of 6 months and I'm currently in a relationship with her best friend, they are like sisters.

    She knows that I will be faithful and truthful to her and we have no issues. The only thing we kind of struggle with is she still has some feelings for me. My advice for you is to decide why specifically you have issues with it and talk to him about it. Use "I feel" statements. I feel ___ when ____ because ___. If done carefully a peaceful conversation can be had without you attacking him.