How do I get out of slutty habits?

I'm 19 and have a very high sex drive and I know the way to get into a relationship with someone I like is to hold off on sex until I know they are into me and they are serious about wanting a relationship But my problem is that I get turned on easily and if they insinuate sex I struggle in the moment to say no. This then puts me in the 'fuckbuddy' zone which I do not want to be in. I have only had sex with 4 men but considering I've only had 1 actual relationship I think it's 3 too many. I don't like that I'm like this but can't seem to get out of it. I know that men have this problem, when they like a girl but don't want to put her off by coming on too strong. How do you stop yourself from giving in to the extreme desire to have sex?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it has a lot to do with where exactly your extreme desire to have sex comes from. Is it genuine sex drive? Do you do this to make your self-worth feel more whole? Is sexual abuse a factor? Are you at a loss for how to solidify a connection without having sex? Do you feel like your central charm and magnetism lies in what you present sexually? You need to take an honest, unfiltered look at yourself and why this habit exists. Once you pinpoint the precise reasoning behind this habit, then you can dismantle it.

    What it really comes down to is self-control, self-discipline, and making the choice that's going to be the best absolute service for your future self on all levels. Not just the choice that satisfies you in the moment, but a decision that pleases you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically long-term. Even if you have to physically get up and remove yourself from a situation then do so.

    You're already off to a great start humbly recognizing that this habit is not putting you in the direction you want to be in! So give yourself a pat on the back for even recognizing that this is a problem in your life which needs to be addressed.

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What Guys Said 10

  • you have the awkward sex conversation XD simple as that. And thats coming from a dude whos dating a 20 yr old girl. She was the one who actually started it, but doesn't really matter unless you want to seem like the mature one in the conversation.

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    • Just let the awkwardness pass and you will find respect as a result. And if its a negative response then it wasn't meant to be.

  • "How do you stop yourself from extreme desire to have sex" answer: have sex

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  • A lack of self-control as well as a sense of compulsive behaviour in your case seem to make it more difficult than it should be. Hypersexuality (= overly high sex-drive) is quite a common symptom of many psychological issues. But the point is that it is a symptom and not a cause and you will need to find out where it comes from. Lack of self-esteem, bipolar personality disorder, bonding issues, etc.

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    • If you want to get deeper into the topic of where it could potentially come from feel free to write me privately. I have a few years of volunteer counselling experience so I might be of some help even though I am no professional.

  • What a lot of women don't understand is that they don't have to wait to not be used for sex. Have a conversation early on stating your intentions and tell him that you are looking for a commitment from him and ask what he is looking for and what he is willing to commit. Ladies make this way harder on themselves than they need to. Sure, you could get lied to but that is unavoidable in dating.

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  • I have high sex drive too. I'm a virgin. I controlled myself by masturbating & doing the heavy work & make me tired too.

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  • Sloots gon sloot ahahah.

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  • How could you get rid of your slutty habits and remain a female? I'm confused.

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  • Hm, don't say yes to sex next time you are in that situation. Get off alone a lot more.

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  • Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem, which you did, and the next one is asking for help, which you did, now you just need to put the advice you're given into action and don't relapse. That's how most people fail, they relapse when things get tough

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  • Stop getting that way

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What Girls Said 4

  • I hated my high sex drive when I was younger but I had like really negative view on sex. I am kinda of a nut case! Um.. I am really sorry! I think you just need to just pleasure yourself instead of looking for men. Its a horrible thing to have senseless sex to me at least to me it is because you don't want be those type of people that forget about love and is just sex SEX!

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  • Mmmm just learn self control? That's what differentiate us from animals! It's easy just say no when they ask for sex.

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  • a guy who really likes you and wants more than sex isn't going to be turned off because the sex starts earlier. instead if trying to suppress your sexual desires and waiting longer, have a talk about what you're looking for sooner.

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  • 4 is really not that bad. Just hold off on sex and stop having casual sex because it can really damage you. I'm 24 and I have been with more guys than you. I always lie about my number I even lied about being a Virgin to my ex boyfriend when I was 20.

    That's not why he left me he just did not have time for a relationship. I'm currently single but I stopped having casual sex over 4 yeats ago and I no longer have casual sex or one night stands

    For some reason men think I'm a Virgin and I think they get a sexually inexperienced vibe from me.

    It's funny but it's not my fault that they assume that.

    My advice to you is to have self control and stop having casual sex and lie and say you are a Virgin.

    I moved a lot so the guy I lost my virginity too I have no idea where he lives but I had sex with this same guy for 6 years.

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