What should I do?

I'm in my 30s and I have a good career, nice condo that I owe very little on, nice car, no real debt. It has taken me years to get to this point. I sacrificed all of my 20s and 30s to pay off my student loans and to put extra payments on my condo. I can finally breathe because I've paid my dues and debt and I finally feel comfortable and ready to live life. I've met someone who is sooo kind, family oriented, no kids, never married (but wants those things) loves dogs, loves me and is so easy to talk to and be myself around, I'm comfortable with him. But he has nothing going on for himself. No career, no college, still has roomates (his brothers), no retirement. If we married and had kids, I'd have to support all of us. But as someone pointed out, stay at home dads are common these days. Run Forrest run or keep dating him? My bio clock is ticking, so I can't waste time dating if it's not going to work out.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I hate to say it, but RUN! From the sound of it, you like nice things. I do too! Nice things aren't cheap. It is a DOUBLE income society! Love does not pay the bills! You are right! You will be supporting everyone! You have worked hard for what you have and where you are at. It isn't fair to let someone sorta like butt up into line in life without them putting in their dues first! I know your clock is ticking, but don't let the ovaries do all the talking here! If he hasn't established much by now, he never will. It will become hard to have the things you want with him not contributing much financially. Having a family is expensive! You need someone who is going to pull their share money wise too! Good luck!

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    • Thank u for your advice. I hate to sound materialistic because I'm not. I'm just trying to look at things realistically. I'm tired from working so much. I'm 37 and I've been a full time + worker since 17, but I held part time work since age 15-17. I'm to the point where I want to live life and I finally can. When my condo is paid off in 6 months, I was going to treat myself to 6 weeks of traveling in Europe. I haven't been out of this state in 20 years so I figure instead of only leaving the state for the first time in 20, I'll leave the country. After that excursion, I was going to start my retirement savings. I just fear that he's going to put a wedge into my retirement savings because I won't have any money left if we have a family and he doesn't distribute. I'll be working the rest of my life and I just don't want that, but I also don't want to stay single and be alone, I've really isolated myself from the world with all this working and no playing that I feel I'm socially awkward

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    • Jeez, he sounds bad, LOL! Well, whatever path you choose, I wish you the best of luck!

    • Thanks sane to you

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you make bank, why not use that to open your options up to include a guy who isn't a huge earner? Does he have a job at all? It's worth taking it slow at first and seeing how things turn out. I have a friend who did this and her guy actually ended up developing a decent career once he wasn't scrambling to make ends meet and had emotional support.

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    • I'm not making bank at all. I just used every cent that I earned to pay my debt. I wore clothes from Goodwill, didn't have cable, had a flip phone for years, eye just to pay down my debt. When I was a kid, we were homeless for awhile and being homeless again scares me, so I worked like crazy. I am not making 6 figures or even close.,

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    • Love, attraction and emotional support are equally important, long term, though.

    • Good point. I've honestly looked at this from every angle. He's very attractive and very good in bed and I do question how faithful he'll be once the newness wears off. He's still a total bachelor and he loves oral and sex so much, I mean, 2-3 times/day. If I'm working and crazy busy and he's home alone and feeling frisky, I hope he'll be faithful. Hispanic men don't have the best reputation there

What Guys Said 3

  • "... loves me and is so easy to talk to and be myself around, I'm comfortable with him"

    Does anything else matter?

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  • That is for you to decide yourself. Love knows no bounds.

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  • Love is the only thing that matters.

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What Girls Said 0

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