I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month now, but have been talking to him for four months. He says he really likes me and I'm not ready to have sex yet. Sometimes I feel that he's losing interest in me because I don't feel much of a connection as when we first started talking, and I ask him. He tells me he likes me and he doesn't know how to show me other than by "making love". Is he just trying to get in my pants or is it truly him wanting to show me how much he likes me?
Most Helpful Guy
No, making love does not show love. He is saying that to get into your pants. If he can't think of another way to show love, then he is the most unimaginative man in the history of creation. Do you think that a set of old grandparents are only able to show love to one another by having sex? No, of course not. And people have sex with people they are not in love with all the time.
It can be a way, but it is not the only way, it is not the most important way, and having it does not mean that you are or are not in love.
If he loves you, you know what would be a really simple, really easy way for him to prove that he loves you, that does not involve him having sex with you? Waiting until you are comfortable and fully ready to have sex, without complaining about it or putting pressure on you. Love is about putting the happiness of a partner ahead of the happiness of yourself. Granted, early infatuation like this has nothing to do with love anyway, but the point remains that if he is concerned about you, if he cares about you, then he should be concerned about your happiness, and he should only be wanting to have sex with you if you are totally ready and happy about the idea. It takes a pretty shitty guy to want to have sex with someone that doesn't really want it, or isn't comfortable with it.0
Most Helpful Girl
In a way, sex is a great way to show love. It's certainly not the only way.
It's a great way to do that once you're both comfortable enough to get to that stage but should never be used as a way to 'prove' anything. It won't get you to any new, more serious stage as a couple. It'll only strengthen what you already have, making your bond all the more intimate.
Sounds like this guy is just trying to get into your pants, tbqh.1