Why do we want what we can't have?

Why do we long for the ones who are unobtainable? Who usually only want one thing?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not sure. But sometimes one longs for something lofty, because we feel it's a vindication of ourselves (like if they display interest it means we are worthwhile). So then by logical extension this would arise out of self misery, which by its extension we should focus or work on, rather than trying to obtain the thing (which can only lead to more misery, because it's de-powering).

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What Guys Said 13

  • Because for me, it's the thought that if I only played my cards right, if I'd only done things differently, if I'd only known how to present myself, if I'd only had myself together in time, if only I'd been confident all along and made myself into an interesting guy by the time I met them... then maybe I could have. I feel like I really could have done it, if only I just knew how.

    We could talk pretty well, we had a lot to say. Yes, I liked how they looked, but I genuinely enjoyed talking to them, I found them so fascinating. and they claimed to like to talk to me too, that I made them feel good too. And they were always so sweet to me. They actually encouraged me to do well, they showed at least some interest in my life and seemed to really care.

    I really kick myself for not going for what I wanted in life so I would have had more to show for myself, not being confident, and not knowing how to flirt. I wanted to be interesting and I might have been if I'd been going for something, but I made myself look prudish and stiff just because I didn't know any better, and I let down my guard and made myself look lame. I blew it out of ignorance. It's no one else's fault but mine, maybe society's a little for encouraging people to not give chances to those who make mistakes. But I still should have known better.

    Now I don't know what I'm going to do. It doesn't look good but I'm going to keep trying, I guess. Going to keep trying and maybe someday I'll be interesting enough and they'll change their minds. I've never met anyone like them before or since and it's highly unlikely I will again. They were really on another level in terms of looks, personality, and our ability to converse... how I found them so interesting, how I would have loved to share life with them. Damn.

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  • 1. That's called basic human nature
    2. This and insecurity are the most basic natures apart from urge to mate which however, develops later but insecurity & desiring that we don't have are most basic and inborn
    3. Learning to control these urges are what makes us human
    4. Desiring something that we can't or don't have when uncontrolled lead to obsession and related actions :)

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  • Yeah in general that's true I guess its like you can trace it back to when we were kids when we got bored of a toy we didnt' want to play with anymore we would then become jealous and want to play with it again once we saw some other kid playing with it.

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  • I don't know. That is a good question. But then again, That's also human nature. It's a conquest to conquer. When people do lust after what they cannot, or rightfully have, It usually ends up in low self worth and self defeat. It's a very dangerous cycle that should be avoided.

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  • in our psyche, scarcity or things we can't have causes challege and challege is related to value.

    so you naturally get turned on and want it

    this is why if you have a pretty chick who gets bored easily, you sometimes need to make her feel insecure, kind of give her a reality check.

    women aren't rational, they just react to emotions and like i said, scarcity

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  • It's normal Alex... it's called dreaming and we all do it :D
    And don't think too quickly that you can't get him... maybe he'll melt when you smile it him! <3

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  • It's part of our nature as humans.

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  • because we like the idea of things and not actually having it.

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  • I will as long as possible.

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  • Because anything easily obtainable isn't worth it most of the time

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  • We can have everything we want! We just have to be open to how we go about attaining it :). (I know corny).

    I know what you mean. Attraction is a mystery that so many try to attach understanding to. It can change so quickly and unexpectantly. This is the hard part because u can't see it... but don't lose faith, I really do believe everything attainable. If you can believe it and conceive it, you can achieve it or him/her ;).

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  • Human nature makes us like that. I do want one thing however and would be so happy if it came true.

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  • That's the human nature like why did we explore the universe? Curiosity

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think, @LovesTVDx it is Because it is a Chase and a Challenge in what we Feel we may Want and it is the Concerted Effort in trying to Accomplish Getting it.
    However, in "Getting it," I feel it is like Christmas Day and and at the end of this Day when all the surprises have been unwrapped, everyone has gone home and just this Aftermath... It is a let down and nothing More in Store to look Forward to.
    Good luck, love the new profile and Happy Holidays. xx

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  • I WANT HIM!

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  • I don't know. But I want him. I could have had him before but now it's too late. :(

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  • Because we are selfish greedy grown up children that will never be satisfied.

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  • It's a human thing. We always do. And if we get it, we want more

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