I lose interest in men after I've slept with them... what's wrong with me?

I'm 21 and do think I want a long term relationship, but everytime I get the chance the same thing happens. We go out together, every thing is great, we get to know each other and all that corny stuff, and then as soon as we have sex I completely lose interest in the guy. And it's not like the sex is horrible.. in fact, the better the sex, the more eager I become to move on to the next guy. Even if the guy is really great and me "ideal type"... what's wrong with me? I try to have feelings but they are non existent... I don't think I'm a promiscuous at all, I mean I have only slept with around 15 guys - 4 of which I was in a more or less serious relationship with. My last ex told me I was a cold hearted bitch. Do you think there is something wrong with me?


0|0
8|27

Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • It may just be that they are lacking in some specific department and maybe you are unaware of it at the time; but then when sex comes into play it hits you all at once. We often confuse lust for actual feelings toward the individual. I have many friends who are the exact same way. However, I believe that the main reason my friends are like this is because they all suffered from a severe heartbreak and are looking for someone else to match the same qualities as the guy who broke their heart.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 26

  • I actually think you are pretty promiscuous. I mean 15 partners before 25 and only 4 of them in semi serious relationships. That's a few partners and a lot of hook up. Also how is it around 15, is it 15 or more or less than 15, do you even know the exact number? As a guy that number would make me seriously second guess being in a relationship with you personally. I think you like sex and haven't been in a relationship with anyone you actually cared about. Sorry to say but it does sound like your ex may have been right. I mean if you lose interest after sex it makes me wonder if you actually had feeling with any of those guys before you even slept with them.

    1|2
    0|0
  • In a way iam glad that a woman is experiencing this none emotional attachment. this is a very masculine trait and why many guys get branded as players. I hope you are open enough to be able to explain your feelings or lake of them to your girl friends so they might understand at least a little about guys.
    No there is nothing wrong with you. You are a young sexual woman who enjoys sex but your not ready to settle down yet your enjoying life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're a sloot. "I've only slept with about 15 guys" Like dude that is a pretty good amount of dick. I think you need therapy.

    @consultantisback

    1|2
    0|0
    • Bro I've fcked girls like this and they have nothing but issues. They claim to be cold hearted and have no feelings like a self proclaimed 'bad bitch' but they have the most emotional baggage of them all lol. I know just how to get it out of them too lol. I tend to stay away from these ones today. If you haven't been with a sloot w/ this mentality b4 I urge you to stay away.

    • Show All
    • @ConsultantIsBack lmao.

    • Ya their oxytocin is all crazy

  • I don't know if this disgusts me or makes me feel really shit about still having never had a girlfriend. How is it even possible to meet that many guys by your age and get intimate with them? You treat sex like its nothing!

    I'm just going to reread that as 'I've only slept with 15 std's'. Makes me feel much better haha!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't know what the issue is but I will say that you're deluding yourself if you think you aren't promiscuous. 15 partners is a lot by 21. I think I read that the average person has like 6 or something in their entire life. It may be a bit higher than that I'm not sure.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you should date someone a lot longer before having sex.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Want to lose interest in me? 😁 haha

    1|1
    0|0
  • Some people goes through countless dates, and/or relationship in order to find that one special person for them

    0|0
    0|0
  • could it be, that you´re not interested in the first place? sometimes we confuse sexual attraction with romantic feelings.

    0|0
    0|0
  • it's not about feeling more emotions. It's about getting rid of those blockers you have set up that are blocking incoming ones. a lot of guys go through what you go through. it's about learning to drop your guard.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I do think there is something wrong with you. I really do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't know if something's wrong per se. You may want to talk to a therapist to see why you want to leave so fast.

    0|0
    0|0
  • May be you're dating a particular "type" and they all have that one thing in common that you subconsciously dont want. Try dating different sort of people may be?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Go to therapy. We aren't going to be able to tell you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 15 guys? i can say that number would easily be a deal breaker for most guys ( decent ones at leat )

    0|1
    1|0
  • I am not here to judge, but that is what people call slutness

    0|0
    1|0
  • "I mean I have only slept with around 15 guys"- ONLY!!! YOU ARE A WHORE!!!

    0|1
    3|3
    • Excuse me? How many women have you slept with?

    • Show All
    • It is really no different than a woman thinking she is entitled to a free meal because men have to pay for the first date- Weird example, I know, but it sends the message that most people want traditional gender roles, even you. @Elis678

    • You don't have idea what I want. Most women work , they do not need men paying for them. And when men pay a meal, it isn't free, cause they want something in return, and you know what.

  • This same thing happened to me like a month ago! I was really falling for her and I really did love her and we had sex and it was great and everything and then she just completely lost interest. No idea what happened. The way you described yourself sounds exactly like her :O haha.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The more partners you have, the harder it is to bond with one person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you should control that pussy a little bit, DAAAMN 21 and slept with 15 men already?

    0|0
    0|0
  • The chase, is better than the catch

    0|0
    0|0
  • The girl I love thought I was inadequate compared to other guys in her life, so she left me without saying a word. I plan on visiting her one more time before World War III reaches the United States to see if she's still alive or not. She thought I would hurt her somehow, I never hurt her physically. I probably did hurt her emotionally but so did she. She told me she had no feelings for me after we both fell in love with each other and agreed to get married. She told me to move on. Then, she told me that she still can't find happiness. Then, she left me when I showed her a tiny portion of my darkness, I have terrible Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when I feel that someone I love is in danger. I've finally given up on love. Now, I just want to murder the powers that be that control this planet in World War III. If I found love, I would've remained benevolent, but there's point in being benevolent in this chaotic planet. In order for benevolent creation to occur on this planet, malevolent destruction humanity must face. Thanks for unlocking my darkness. Humanity has no idea of the obliteration that awaits them. I will create a new era of light and benevolence after I destroy every malevolent being on this planet.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Forgot the word no in the following sentence... *If I found love, I would've remained benevolent, but there's no point in being benevolent in this chaotic planet.*

    • Honestly, you don't deserve a long term relationship.

  • You're secretly a man. And an asshole at that.

    That said, you could even fall in love before having sex. Those feelings don't just disappear because you sleep together. Even for the worst of us boys.

    0|0
    0|0
  • you are looking to fill a gap only God can fill my friend. dont spend no more your body here and there find the one Water that will never leave you thirsty again.

    0|0
    0|1
  • "I mean I have only slept with around 15 guys"

    Yeah because that's a low count isn't it?

    0|2
    3|1
    • Let's say she was 18 when she started having sex, just to keep it legal. She's 21 now, so that's 3 years and there are 1095 days in three years. That means that she sleeps with someone every 2 and half months, which if you really think about it isn't a lot.

    • Show All
    • @Elis678 Sorry who are you? Nobody important! That's who you are.

    • @Elis678 is just as important as you are. In fact, she is probably a hell of a lot more important.

  • You are a slut... That's why you can't settle...

    0|1
    3|2

What Girls Said 7

  • You could maybe have some type of emotional detachment issues or just issues in bonding. Maybe. What I think it is, is that you're a fine example of a woman lol. You enjoy sex, you like sex, you get sex and realize deeply that this person isn't the one for me, neither have they
    wowed me and you move on. You'll stop moving on the day you find somebody you actually like, that sparks your interest really nice. Sex has nothing to do with it lol its just you're not settling for anything less thn you want. . WARNING though, be careful cause the day you do fall in love if you haven't "moved on" from these guys in the right way, you getting hurt is inevitable.

    0|0
    0|0
  • !5 guys by 21? Ummm yes, that is about 14 too many. Maybe slow down a bit and not sleep with anyone for awhile. I think you have messed up your psyche from all your senseless sex so young. sorry :(

    0|2
    1|0
  • Maybe a wait a bit and start sleeping with guys you're committed to already?

    1|0
    0|1
    • don't be silly... :P

    • Show All
    • @Yumix haha Ikr lol but you don't sound weird don't worry :P

    • no I meant the askers situation sounds weird :P

  • Maybe you should lay off having sex for a year. I can't really explain it but it seems sex is the root of your issues. I'd suggest getting a professional opinion on this.

    0|0
    0|0
  • this question sounds a bit troll-ish, as 15 sexual partners for someone who's 21 years old screams either 'fake' or 'dysfunctional'. however you look at it, you seem to be slightly in denial, as that's exactly what 'promiscuous' behaviour looks like. maybe you're using sex as a way to feel empowered and validated, maybe you think that's what men do to normally assert their own individuality.. but you know what? even a 21 y. o. guy who slept with 15 people is not exactly a mentally 'healthy' individual. he'd be someone who needs constant validation from sexual partners, without even spending any amount of time to know them on a personal, human level. thus 'using' them to fill some personal void. all I could say is that I'd strongly recommend therapy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You have daddy & commitment issues. Sometimes, love is not a feeling, it is a choice.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You sound like a guy in disguise -haha.

    In all truth, I very am very, very envious.
    I'd love to be able to have sex while remaining emotionally detached afterwards. I have a very high sex drive, but the fact that I tend to get attached to the guy afterwards is the main thing preventing me from being able to have casual relationships.

    You should frankly just enjoy it. I'd seriously to be able to be the partner who doesn't give a f*** and doesn't call afterwards rather than the person feeling shitty because the other person only wanted sex.

    You can't be manipulated by guys and you get to be a player yourself. High five!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...