Many thought I was one of the prettiest girls in school. I didn't think so and was relieved to be voted most unique. I didn't have any friends and sat alone at lunch. I was totally embarrassed, super lonely, and starving for some company. I discovered guys were usually really friendly, but inevitably wanted something in return. Many black guys pursued me aggressively. I noticed white guys were different, and always drew a very clear line, so until I traveled to Europe I had the impression that white guys did not find me attractive at all.
So now I'm attracted to white guys, especially tall blonde haired types, with open American cultural mindset, or maybe metropolitan. I'm pretty particular and usually approach the hottest guy, least likely to be interested, probably frat boy, surrounded by mostly white folks (its a way to overcome my highest fears). Sometimes I make a beeline for him, other times I'm more subtle and indirect just trying to get a little closer. I know how to start and hold entertaining conversations, and often find myself in the spotlight. I can make guys laugh and I can really be myself, pretty high energy and sometimes quieter and mysterious. I used to be super shy so I know how to draw others out.
But often the guy doesn't even let me get that far. He just avoids eye contact looking around and finds an excuse to leave. Some will act half-interested like they would rather be anywhere else. I try not to feel snubbed, but sometimes the guys are like 5-6s and a bit out of my league if I was actually serious about them. I don't have to worry about sending mixed signals, since being friendly is often enough to get them interested. But sometimes I try flirting a little bit and it can backfire leaving me mortifyingly embarrassed.
Am I too intense? (I'm an HSP, highly sensitive person) Are people uncomfortable with girls approaching? Is it because they're prejudice deep down? Most importantly, if u were a hot blond guy 8+ would you want me to approach you?
I'm Swedish & Black mixed, 5' 4", 120 lbs (or less if I want more defined cheekbones). I wear heels and have long legs. I'm A cup, but decent trunk space :). Facewise, I'm a cross between Carli Bybel and Alicia Keys - before she had surgery.
Most Helpful Guy
You know, you may not want to hear this... but a lot white guys are afraid of dating non-white girls (or dating at all, for that matter).
It isn't because they dislike mixed girls, or latinas, or black girls, or anything like that. It's more that white guys are more or less portrayed as villains by most people -- as being privileged, racist, etc. The dating choice a white guy makes is going to undergo scrutiny.
Date a non-white? Then you get told that you're fetishizing the non-white girl. That you are oppressing her, taking advantage of her. Or that you are "dating down" because you aren't attractive enough to get a white girl (yeah, it's the white girls who say that -- pure racist bullshit).
People talk negatively about the guy behind his back. It affects his reputation, which in turn can affect his employment/livelihood, etc. He's a white apologist. He's a weak man. He's this, he's that. There's so much stigma that it becomes easier to say "I'm going to avoid all the poisonous backstabbing talk about me by simply avoiding talking to non-white girls."
The guy gets criticized by non-whites. He gets criticized by whites. At least if he dates a white girl, people "get" that... it's a livable choice, by other people's standards, even if they still think poorly of him.
Add in a girl approaching, then people are going to say he's a hapless, weak man who took the first girl that threw herself at him. It's unfair for both the man and the woman. But that's the reality.
Forget all the PC bullshit where girls upvote a guy who says "I'd date interracially." They're just doing that to boost their social status because being PC is the "in" thing. Behind closed doors, they're still racist, and we white guys damn well know it. And it's a damn shame, because a lot of us would like to date non-white girls.
But if it's going to be such a problem that it can affect your employment (and thus your ability to feed yourself...), then it just isn't worth doing. Some places you can get away with it. But in other geographical locations, you can't.1
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