Thoughts on Open Relationships?

Between one girl and two guys. (Basically I'm stuck in a love triangle and they both agreed to it, I was the one who hesitated.)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know lots of cases where that has worked out really well, personally. But usually with older people, those in their late 20s at the young end, up into 30s and 40s. I'm sure there are cases older as well, I just don't know any personally. It takes a LOT of emotional maturity to pull it off, to be able to work past jealousy and push it into compersion instead.

    I'm not saying it can't be done, I'm sure that it could be, with the right people, but it will be harder for you at a young age. The biggest problem is something you don't really have any control over. The prefrontal cortex does not finish developing until the late 20s. Before that happens, a person's personality is really in flux. Things can change a fair bit, and long term planning is a lot more difficult (that is the region of the brain that really controls long term thinking). So at 18 and under, you will be trying to pull something off that 'adults' can struggle with, while dealing with parts that are not fully finished. Kind of like driving a car with three tires.

    If you do decide to do it, I suggest all three of you promise to remain totally open and honest with each other. As soon as you start keeping secrets from each other, things will disintegrate incredibly quickly. You'll want to have all three of you there to talk about what you each expect out of this, what kinds of boundaries are acceptable, all that stuff. This will have the possibility of really going to shit fast, so you'll have to be vigilant in keeping communication open and flowing if you are going to make it work.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I find open relationships to be stupid because ultimately when the time comes you're going to choose one person and the other will be left in the dust with a broken heart.

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What Guys Said 5

  • If you are the one who is hesitant then perhaps an open relationship is not for you. I got into a situation where the couple was just getting into an open relationship. It seems that they had been having problems in their marriage for some time and the sex life was all but dead. One night they talked about going outside the marriage for sexual satisfaction, though neither wanted the other to be the one getting the sex.

    They finally agreed that if they were to go through with it that both of them must be present during the sex whether they both participated or one of them was an observer. So the male contacted me and asked if I would be interested in having sex with his wife. I was taken back at first and then became intrigued by the possibility of him watching the two of us having sex while he watched. We agreed on a time and I was insistent that she talk with me on the phone ahead of time to be sure she was in full agreement with the situation. After getting a positive and eager response from her we met and had great sex. He did eventually join in after I had climaxed in her and was resting. I watched him go down on her and really get into the fact that he was licking her and my juices. It got very interesting after that, he discovered he might be bisexual after performing oral sex on me while she watched.

    If you are not comfortable with this threesome then let them know and stop.

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  • Someone is bound to get hurt

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  • I love open relationships. I mean all honest about it. I don't mind sharing or being shared sometimes. Sometimes it feels good to have two people care. It's normal. If I want someone I don't care how I get to be with them.

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  • Yay! A Mexican Standoff. What could possibly go wrong?

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  • go for it :P if they are cool with it your in a good spot :) just watch out for jealousy!
    best of luck!
    JJ

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What Girls Said 0

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