Am I too nice and is it a turn off?

Do guys like girls who are a little mean. I always seem to not being the girl that many guys my age want but they go for girls who just seem so mean and judgmental who let the slightest things be deal breakers, height, weight, acne, hair colour, etc. But I am however not like that, I always try to be kind to people and make everyone feel like their special.
dont get me wrong I don't cling onto the first guy I see, I just don't be as shallow as other girls. And guys usually just don't seem bothered to even talk to me. I always hear some girls saying "he is too nice " which I don't particularly agree with, but I am just curious is it the same for guys? And I see now a days guys with girls who are loud and crazy who get jealous over anything and I am personally not like that I find it immature, does that make me a turn off as well?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes i feel like when a girl is 'too nice' it means she is boring. Like u r predictable and will always say the 'right' thing. Sometimes i just want a girl who disagrees with me and putforths her own opinion rather being nice and agreeing with me all the time just to avoid conflict. I like to tease people but in a playful way so I might pretend to disagree with someone even tho i actually do just to make it fun. People love this bc u can be unpredictable and make it fun to 'argue' with someone. And believe me, i hate conflict. But teasing isn't really conflict but girls might even say 'u r so mean' but it actually makes u a whole lo more attractive bc it shows them u r not a pushover, u have strong thoughts and beliefs and u can express them, and that u can be fun about it as well. I think being nice is great but it gets to a point where u r boring and i want someone who can give me a little unpredictability in my life.

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    • It's not that I am nice to the extreme I will agree with someone else's opinion over mine it's just, any guy I seem to meet seem to rather talking to a girl who is just mean and insults him and not in a teasing matter rather

    • thats hs i guess. things will be different when u get older

Most Helpful Girl

  • For your age, it may not be the most important thing in a partner because many look for fun, and not commitment.
    Of course, not all young people are like this, but I'm just saying don't get disheartened if they consider you "boring".

    As you get older, it's seen as more attractive.

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    • Yeah i have assumed it's a boring thing because maybe the mean girls are more of a challenge

What Guys Said 18

  • your problem is that your young, girls your age act like that, guys your age also I like that. when you're in high school people are pretty much stupid. once you get into college or pass college, you will be the 1 that everyone wants. and all those stuck up kids from high school will be the ones alone

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    • Thanks I have been hoping it's something that will change as I get older

    • it will trust me, all the kids in high school you act mean and stuck up because they're really pretty or because they're really good at sports will soon learn that there are a lot of people out there prettier than them but a lot of people out there stronger than them but they will still have the attitude that they are the best and conceited, and it will just make them look stupid. which in turn makes them the people no one likes. Whereas the nice people like yourselfbecome the people that everyone wants to spend their time with

    • Thanks for the wise words :)

  • For whatever reason a lot of people both guys and girls don't like nice people. I'm not one of them. If I'm with a girl and she's super nice and kind to everyone it only makes me want to spoil and giver her all the more affection.

    You being nice is only a turn off for all the people that you should never date. Don't lose yourself in the endless army of assholes of the world. Stand out by staying nice and the right one will come along.

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    • Aww you sound very kind haha thanks coz I was hoping I wouldn't have to change I have tried to be a bit less kind but it was just too hard haha

  • As long as you're not a push over, I'll take nice over anything any time of the year.

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  • I don't know, I've had thoughts that I have the same "problem". :/. Its hard to know how to hold your ground on things when you are trying to be nice. Both of my ex's said pretty similar things when they broke up with me, one even mentioned that I "never get riled". Whatever that means. I guess people like challenges, and when you are trying to be nice its hard to give that.

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  • No, not me. I can't stand bitchy girls at all. I'm looking for a girl like you, someone who's mature and grounded. Hard to find those in my age group.

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  • Nice is good as long as that is your authentic self

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  • Nah not a turn off
    It's just that guys at that age are immature af and all they need is sex
    So just chill and find someone mature like you...

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  • A mean, bitchy girl may be more fun and exciting, but the drama can get old quickly. If who you are isn't good enough for a guy, maybe he isn't good enough for you.

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  • There's nothing wrong with it at all, I wish I could find one, all the girls that I know are kind of mean

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    • Plus you're Irish, which makes you even better

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    • Oh thanks do the Irish compliment I didn't see that haha, well hopefully we can kill two birds with one stone and find the answer for both of us :)

    • Maybe an. Wish I could date a girl like you, and Irish girls are just sexy

  • nice is good!

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  • Nice is very good!

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    • So it's not a turn off or a deal breaker?

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    • Yeah I think so but I just wonder did they say it to me because I'm nice or because they are used to girls who will just stand up to guys saying that stuff

    • They sound like assholes because no one would EVER say that to a nice person!!

  • Yeeeah, you shouldn't be more mature than your peers. Not a good path to go down.

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  • Being nice is what you should do. It will pay off in the end because of who you will end up with. I'd rather have and many guys rather have a girl that's nice and caring rather than one that's always being a pain.

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  • I don't notice guys going after bitchy girls, unless the bitchy girl is just physically more beautiful. Typically the most beautiful and desirable women can afford to be more bitchy. It isn't that the guy likes the woman being bitchy, he is just willing to put up with it do to her attractiveness and she knows she can get away with it.

    This is the same reason that players can afford to not give women relationships, and just use the woman for sex. The women are willing to put up with that, because she is so attracted to the traits the player has. If he didn't have those traits, then he couldn't be a player.

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  • nice girls, nice guys, we all have the same problems. society can't take us.

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  • No I like really nice girls. Shows she is loving and caring. You sound like a great young woman. Keep it up! :)

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  • No prob with nice girls. however you should assert yourself more, if you see a guy you like let it be known to him. but remember that most guys need a lit sign to see if a girl likes him.

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  • Yeah people always say I'm too nice as well. It's annoying when they say that because I'm not a push over. I'd rather a sweet girl any day. I don't want some stuck up cow who's full of herself. So continue being the nice person you are! Because you're one true girl who's hard to find 😃

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    • Aww thanks I just hope I end up with some who appreciates when I get older :)

    • You're welcome 🙂 I would certainly appreciate it. One thing I love about some girls is their natural way of being compassionate and sweet. And you'll get more confident with things when you're older. So that doesn't mean you have to stop being nice. Stay the way you are

What Girls Said 5

  • t00 nice is always a turn off!

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  • Nope, there is a fine line... my last boyfriend said I was basically a bitch, lol. I'm not but at least I wasn't boring... lol

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  • Loud girls that are jealous.. No, just no. They're annoying. But yes, i'm judgmental about about height, weight and acne. I like tall boys, weight says something about your lifestyle, and acne means you either don't take care of your skin and yourself, eat too many greasy foods, or have a genetics problem.

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    • Well you get acne just through teen years and that's fine for me but that's beside the point anyway I have no problem with people who want certain heights and weight or whatever eithe way it's just something I don't get why they would rather go to someone who insults them about those things

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    • You are changing my question all together I said I have no problem with people like that. I am ask why would a guy rather go for a girl who insults them
      About those things, you can dislike something about someone doesn't mean u need to insult them

    • Oh i'm sorry, I misunderstood your previous comment. Yeah I agree, except if it's towards a guy that's obese.

  • You're only 15 years old, you'll get your chance. Try asking guys out.

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  • People tend to want people that they can't have

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