There's a guy who seems to have quite a crush on me. I've recently noticed it and begun to have strong feelings for him as well. But I get sort of mixed signals from him - if he's alone he's very open toward me, but if a lot of his friends or his parents are around, he gets very shy and reserved. We've never had much chance to have a real conversation due to simply always being in a large group setting (25+ people)
I'm 21 and he's a few years younger than me and has never had a girlfriend. I feel like he's probably confused about his feelings and isn't sure what to do, but he also has no way of knowing if I already have a boyfriend (I don't) and probably doesn't know exactly the age difference, just knows that I'm older than him and more mature. It wouldn't surprise me if he thinks I wouldn't be interested in someone like him for that reason alone - he'd be wrong if he thinks that.
But anyway, he's at the stage where he doesn't seem quite confident enough with his feelings to act on them, even though it's pretty clear there are definitely some feelings there. (I'm not the only one who has picked up on it.) But I am not really interested in having a *boyfriend* - I would be 100% okay with just hanging out with him as FRIENDS and see where it goes from there. The last time I saw him, I gave him a way to contact me - I guess that was probably a fairly direct "Hey I'm interested in you" move, but it's all I had a chance to do.
Is there any way I can let him know that if he wants to just hang out as FRIENDS for now, that's totally fine? I don't want him to feel like his only options are ask me out or do nothing. I don't care about dating - I just want to get to know him.
How do I do that without seeming like I'm flirting with him or anything? I don't want to just SAY that because he hasn't actually TOLD me that he likes me and he might be uncomfortable if I imply it, even if it is true.
Most Helpful Guy
Wow. This is complicated.
Um, well, as someone who can relate to him---never having a girlfriend and therefore unsure what to do and more importantly, not being confident enough to act on my feelings----I'd say to ask him to hang out, I guess.
It's harmless enough, I think.
Like, it could be in passing when you see him next. Just a casual letting-him-know-you're-down-to-get-to-know-each-other thing.
This sounds like it could just blossom to me. It's cute, romantic, and just desirable. Probably because I'm a little emotional right now, but good luck. To both of you.1
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