Help! I want to know if he's cheating?

My current boyfriend was open with me about having cheated in his previous relationship and he said he doesn't want to repeat that. He treats me really well and I think he really cares about me.

However, I still can't trust him and as such I did a bad thing, which was snooping through his stuff :( He bought a new mobile phone a couple of weeks ago, and I found the old one and checked his messages from November.

1) So apparently he was incapable of telling a girl he had been seeing before that he was in a relationship now. He didn't meet her, but he was saying he was tired, maybe next week, but never telling the truth. I don't like this, but this wasn't the worst.

2) He exchanged messages with another girl and talked about going for coffee and that he liked her company. I couldn't understand if he wanted to get involved with her or if he told her he had a girlfriend and these messages meant that he wanted to keep her as a friend and just go for coffee.

Now I'm feel uncomfortable and don't know what to do. If I confront, I'll have to admit that I snooped, which is something very wrong. I also thought about doing bad things like creating fake profiles with her picture (I found her on facebook) or going to her workplace and pretend I'm a client... or even leave a recorder at his place overnight... But I don't know if I want to go down this path.

Please give me ideas... preferably something smart that doesn't involve things like fake profiles, but things that won't make me tell him I looked at his old phone :(

I'm sad.


What Guys Said 2

  • You are already at a point where you don't trust him. That tells you all that you need to know about the future of this relationship.

  • Don't think he's cheating. Yet.

    • I might not be yet, but if he's talking to girls in that sort of way, inviting for coffee and stuff... I don't think it's correct...
      I think it's ok to talk to girls, depends on the intentions...

    • Show All
    • because i dont want to admit i checked his phone :'(

    • I get it hun, but again... are you exclusive? If you are, that's great. Why not take it a step further. Why would you be exclusive with a guy that's trying to find some extras?

What Girls Said 1

  • Uh oh. Thats a red flag. Try to ask him questions like "have you heard of this company?" the girl's company obviously. And think of things like if he knows someone there cause a friend of yours is interested to apply there etc