Are you afraid of meeting people?

I realized I'm scared to meet people. I talked to a guy last night on tinder and for a couple hours today, and he mentioned we should get together one of these nights if I'm not too tired after work.

i love the idea, I would absolutely like to meet up with him. But I'm afraid to actually make concrete plans to do so.

Because I'm scared of boring him, I guess. I'm not much of a conversationalist and I'm awkward as hell. But i REALLY want to see where it could go. I'm conflicted as hell.

Question in title, obviously.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 99% of people are worried about meeting people - They feel the exact same things you do but some are just better at hiding it. Lets look at your paragraph
    "Because I'm scared of boring him, I guess. I'm not much of a conversationalist and I'm awkward as hell. But i REALLY want to see where it could go. I'm conflicted as hell"
    Well from what I can see from your activity on the site - When I see your username I check your comment out because I think you are very interesting with a mixture of revealing insights about yourself, very funny thoughts and some good reflections on life. That to me would count as the basic skills of a good conversationalist.
    You like most of us have shy streak inside us and getting around it is one of life's mysteries. How often have you hit it off with someone and felt comfortable with them, you were still that shy slightly awkward girl with them at the start. So the fact is you don't know what way it will turn out unless you try.
    In conclusion from what I know of you and if you hit it off, that guy would be a lucky guy to meet a girl like you so my advice is go for it, who knows - Instead of mulling over what could go wrong maybe think about what can go right?

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    • You're right, I should look at what can go right. I guess I'm afraid of being too optimistic. I just need to stop being afraid of things, I suppose.

    • Absolutely keep your hopes realistic is not the same a shutting everything down for fear of what might happen. I think in the context of love and romance, the amount of people who go for it must be very high 90s percent, people who get hurt/rejected try again with someone else probably quite a high percentage.
      What that tells me is that the reward of love/romance must be so great that it is worth taking the chance even though things may go wrong.

    • Thanks for MHG

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am. I fear being too awkward because, well because I'm awkward! Lol, but I've gone through similar situations and I always find reasons not to meet up. I can hold a conversation but I'm very fidgety when I talk and I don't look people in the eye when they talk so they always think that I'm not paying attention or interested.

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    • Well you are face to face with me and close your eyes, you better expect one.

What Guys Said 13

  • Not afraid of meeting people. Sometimes anxious to make a great impression, but not afraid.

    Now about your case. You are afraid of boring him. If one person does not do well in conversation, the other can help them to open up and be more at ease. If you were "boring" me, then I am not doing my part, either.

    And you are not boring on here and never have been. Like @KDA20 said, when I see you on here I click to read, because I find you very interesting. Never boring.

    You should meet those guys. The worst that could happen (other than safety and you should always take precautions with someone new) is that it would fall flat and nothing really lost. But you will never know unless you take the chance.

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  • You just gotta make an effort, you know find common ground in the conversation like a similar interest, or passion. You have to give him a chance at least you never know he could find you interesting or you could find him interesting. And the chance of the reward of love/romance is so worth it compared to the chance that it might not work out or worse not even giving it a chance at all, and missing out on something great.

    Remember he might be worried about the same thing you are, most people are worried when it comes to meeting new folks, and try not to be so negative, you know? you don't have to be super optimistic but try to look at the positive side of things

    Also I didn't used to like meeting new people either, still don't to some degree, but after taking a job were I meet new people all the time it kind of forced me to be ok with the idea and now I'm a lot more comfortable then I used to be about talking with and meeting new people, still scary as hell sometimes for me, but I'm a lot better about it now.

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  • I think you should meet up with him. I don't think he would not mind to do most of the talking. Don't be scared to meet guys.

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    • I just feel bad with things being one-sided and I don't want him to get the wrong impression that I don't want to get to know him... but even over tinder he's done all the question asking, and I've pretty much just answered without following up with questions for him.

      I'm just awful with small talk.

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    • Yeah. I know. He does seem pretty interested. I'll have to sleep on it I think, I don't know. Argh. My lack of experience doesn't help, at all. lol

    • Yes sleep on it. I think he is very interested. Lol I could not tell you had no experience. Don't over think it. Look at it like talking to a close friend or a friend you haven't seen in a long time. If you did see him ask him questions about things you want to know about him? Or is curious about him? Meeting people is not to bad. Don't be afraid to take chances and risks sometimes. I believe if you met up with him it would turn out fine. Most guys would not judge a girl on shyness. Believe it or not I use to be very shy. Don't be afraid to break out of your comfort zone.

  • Well, I'd say if you feel safe with the situation, go ahead and meet in a safe public place. Don't worry about people judging you or sizing you up, etc. Just be yourself and take it from there. Now if you think you are not that great of a conversationalist, maybe you're better than you think, or he might not care anyway. I think we all tend to be our own worst critics. LOL... I'd had issues in the past of "worrying about what the other person thinks" but over the years I think I've learned to realize that it is no big deal.

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  • Same shit happened to me. I was talking to this one chick from okcupid. I got her number and we were texting. I was the one who always had to ask the questions, start the convos and shit. She always answered and it seemed like she was into it so I ask if she wants to meet and she straight up ghosts on me. I'm like wtf? Waste of my time. 😫

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    • I'm sorry on her behalf. It's nerve wracking. I can't speak for her but I mean I'm interested as heck in this guy I just struggle to small talk so

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  • Honestly no, I'm not worried about meeting up with people with concrete plans. Everyone has their quirks, so I don't feel "out of place" with mine! :-P

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  • Just go darling I am kind of the same way and I was nervous we talked on facebook for a couple days then we met up for breakfast. She actually left and came back but it was all good cause I was in line getting food, then she returned and I've been seeing her for a month now. My first serious girlfriend so i'd say just go for it. If you have ativant take one if not just try and meditate or masturbate so your relaxed before showing up

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  • The only way you'll get better is to
    mitsloan.mit.edu/.../Nike.jpg

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  • i would feel the same way if it was a girl, i would think im boring, lame, etc... i have a girlfriend so she dont think that but i think that lol. Sometimes i run out of idea's to say and stuff like that

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  • Yeah I almost anticipate not relating or being to cold or hot

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  • I know this feeling

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  • Will the next question be "I went on a date with this guy. Did it go good? How was your first date?"?

    Am I afraid of meeting new people? I am a shy person so I guess so. I don't really care if I bore someone or not. I'm going to be me regardless.

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    • No, I'm usually pretty perceptive when it comes to knowing when something was a flop or not. I won't ask one of those cliche questions.

      Yeah, well, I'm shy AND I care. We can't all be so lucky to not give that much of a fuck.

    • Lol. I mean I like knowing how people feel about me, but if someone doesn't like who I really am it just makes me want to be who I am even more. I guess I'm weird in that regard.

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm the exact same way as you. I'm always worried that I sound stupid or that I'm boring and nkt funny enough. And I go on the app called hot or not and I've been asked many times to meet up with people, but I don't for 2 reasons one being that of my anxiety and 2 safety reasons haha. So anyway there is this one guy that I really really hit it off with and he always hints at hanging out, but I always digress cause honestly I'm super shy and nervous to meet him he just seems like everything I'm not talented, hip, ambitious, intelligent etc etc lol I don't know I'll see what happens I guess.

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  • I'm like that. Once I actually start to know someone then I'll act like my normal, weird self.

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