What am I doing wrong with online dating?

I been on and off, online dating for about 5 years now. With it landing me one single date truth this entire time, but then again I have tendency of just stopping and no longer visiting this sites for periods of 3-4 months, just enjoying the weather, life and working. However I have been always amazed that if I make a secondary "fake" profile and put the most stupidest things in About Me section that profile gets crazy amount of visitors.

I'm not a bad looking guy, with some feedback from GAG community my average looks fall into 7.5/10 range and there is nothing wrong with my attitude, sure I may be a cold person on the outside but that's because deep inside I'm pretty emotional person, I just never let my emotions get best of me. I have a very uptight moral compass and see woman as human being not sexual objects, I'm not a nice guy who can have people walk on him, I'm just a decent guy with a backbone and his own opinion on life, and things.

Here is my OKC profile: http://i.imgur.com/SkOI5TU.png

So I ask the GAG community to lend me their hand and explain why I'm having such poor luck finding girls OKC? I should also note, most read my messages but never respond nor do I see them in visitor list so simply my messages are ignored. Being a web developer I have came to a conclusion great amount of online dating users are automated profiles, in place to boost numbers for the site. Since there is really no explanation or reasoning why no one can respond with basic "not interested".

However this theory crumbled given my fake profile gets plenty of girls to massage it, so I know girls are capable of going out of there way and initiating the conversation. I don't know maybe because I'm just so much of a logical and moral monster that people don't find me interesting or hate me on some unconscious level...

Big thanks in advance. And hope to get some valuable feedback.

Note: The image was a link, did not expect it to be turned into a thumbnail. So here is the link to the image I originally posted: http://imgur.com/SkOI5TU or you can click on the image thumbnail and you will be redirected to the full size image on Imgur.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think I would add some specific examples in your profile to give someone something to talk to you about. It's not a bad profile, but it could use some spice.

    You note that you like to travel. Maybe list some places you like to go to, list some of your favourite local shops, list any bands or music acts you have seen live.

    Maybe list some goals that you have achieved. Did you go to school? Talk about what you plan on doing in the future (ie. buying a home, going on a cross country road trip, opening up your own business).

    I can certainly understand your frustration. I've been on and of datings sites for years. But I've always found someone. Sometimes it just takes time.

    It could also be how you are approaching dating offline as well. What are your messages like to people you meet online? What do you typically do for dates?

    Being 18-24 could also have something to do with it too. That age group is so plentiful online, you could just be getting overlooked because there are too many profiles to sift through. The best thing you can do is keep updating your profile. Adding new pictures and stuff and trying to enjoy your life in the meantime.

    • This is what I was saying, but he didn't like my answer. He thinks he needs to lie and say he's some kind of party animal to get dates which is hokum.

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    • @9mfeo Jesus christ, woman. Why are you so freaking hateful of man? The hell did we do to you? And why the hell do you group everyone into same group? Fuck. Also do you even know what EOD Tech's do?

    • Message me and I'll tell you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • online dating is generally pretty tough for a lot of guys , so not sure exactly what you did wrong or right. I never had much luck with it myself so I decided to focus on meeting girls in real life. I think some people have the perception online be easier but often its harder unless your good with online communication and such

    • I know it's a gamble. However as you may be aware this day and age it's not as easy to approach a girl in the open without being labeled as weird, creepy or having police called. I have considered that possibility, and ruled against it. I live in Canada as well, and woman her are bit more worse than in states.

    • it just sort of depends where in public , certain places are better than others , but agree some locations it would be difficult to start a conversation. I meet one really interesting girl at the gym but other than her mostly nothing. most of my girl conversations seemed to be happening at pubs, bars or restaurants. once you know them a bit its easier to talk to them there.

What Girls Said 4

  • Your profile is incredible boring. It doesn't convey any personality at all. You might as well be a cardboard cutout man.

    • Boring? So using made up and stupid things like Love to Drink, Love to Party make it any more better? In reality no, that just hordes the type of woman who you don't want.

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    • Those answers are also generic. Your profile is not well-fleshed out. Instead of "crumbs" of details, you need actual details.

    • Ah, but there lies the paradox. The second set is generic, truth that profile has over 50 visitors with 1-2 days intervals, has over 100 likes and has shitload of messages. So therefore your logic of "generic" does not apply.

  • Nothing wrong. Dating sites generally suck for guys. Too much competition. I have been on dating sites a few times and I got like countless messages to the point that I didn't even have time to read some of them. Girls have too much options to choose. Sorry to hear about that. Perhaps you could try other dating sites?

  • I think online dating is not very successful. My best friend did online dating and ended up with a wonderful boyfriend. But online dating is about taking chances and I think most people aren't gonna be willing to take them... I think my friend and her boyfriend are pretty rare. Not saying you can't find a partner that way but I think people's chances are much better elsewhere. Good luck! 👍 you'll find a girl

  • You might benefit from shortening your profile a little bit. Keeping things relatively concise can help catch people's curiosity, since so many of us have terrible attention spans these days.

    You could also consider taking a more casual tone. I get the impression that you generally just don't write in a casual way, which is fine, but it can be a little intimidating. A more easygoing, light tone would put people at ease and make them feel more comfortable pursuing conversation.

    • No, that would actually be worse. There's no detail in his profile as it is.

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    • @9mfeo
      There is detail, it's just surrounded with extraneous stuff. Plus if it's shorter, he can add some humor or something without making it an essay.

      Aaand for the asker: What I consider casual is mostly just a more conversational tone. Writing how you speak, even if that means using improper grammar, throwing in a bit of light humor, generally just not being too serious. I would call your writing... well, a little stiff. Sorry. >.< It just feels like your voice gets lost, like you're choosing your words a little -too- carefully and they don't flow as well. I could be completely wrong about that, it's just an impression.

    • @9mfeo @Asker
      Chances are good that you guys became a couple haha

What Guys Said 2

  • Oh boy your profile is boring. Why should a girl want to date you and not someone else of this big group you call "most people" you didn't convince me and so you probably haven't convinced the girls that you are different. You problably don't even believe it yourself.

    You have a passion for technology. That's not a bad thing every passion is good but don't write that you hate to admit it or that you got bullied at school.
    Your whole profile is more like a text why someone shouldn't date you.
    What value can you give them for their lives? Im not talking about money or stuff but people should enjoy their time in your company. I'm not saying that you should lie in your profile but write it a bit more like a salesman and try to get them interested

  • Find some women with 99-95% match. Take note of what they put in their profiles and their formating. After that craft your profile based on what you learned.

    • I often do contact woman with 75+ % match which often results in no reply. But isn't crafting your own profile to the likings of others, defeats the point of being yourself? I really don't understand this entire online dating scene.

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    • I am sorry

    • LOL. No need, I just abandoned this topic. For me to rewrite my profile is like asking the impossible. Since knowing myself the rewrite will look like my old profile :|