How can I be self-confident in a relationship?

This is the scenario:

Before I date a guy: I am somehow confident, sexy, and guys look at me or flirt at me.

After I start dating a guy: my confidence starts to vanish when I start liking him so much. I have crazy ideas like:
*he might find another beautiful woman and forget about me overnight
*no matter how he tells me in the face he likes me or he showers me with affection, I start feeling that this is too good to be true.

How can I break this cycle?

I know a man now and I think we already have feelings for each other. He tells me he is always thinking about me even if we don't talk. But if he doesn't call or text I freak out, but still I don't show him.

Guys-this is destroying me. I know it's me who feels insecure now.

How can I get rid of these thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's more about copies than ridding yourself of the feeling. When you feel like that focus on enjoying the moment because unless you're married you never know. so why worry just enjoy it like it's not going to last. don't focus on the negative of the loss but the positive of having it in the moment.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I see a lot of my female friends go through these same thoughts. I wish I had the definitive answer for you but I don't.

    Do remember that worrying about these things won't make him stay. But they will make him leave. Sooner or later you will start to do things that makes him not want to be with you. For example becoming over jealous and just plain paranoid. It's not fun to be around someone who questions your every move.

    Focus instead on doing nice things together. That is why a guy is/wants to be with you.

  • does he know of your history in terms of confidence issues?

    • No of course not

    • your like me then. its time we let go of the shackles and enjoy ourselves.

  • You can't. That's not how it works.


What Girls Said 2

  • With myself, I've found that what helped me develop a lot of confidence in my relationship and not feeling like I should enjoy things to the fullest because it's all got a shelf-life or that he'll easily replace me with someone better is just building trust.
    Whether that be through him showing that he's really there for you in your times of need, when you're sick or super stressed over one thing or another, or acknowledging your worries about a specific girl that might be in the vicinity and making it clear that you're the only one really on his radar.

    Once you've built up an adequate amount of trust in him and know that not only will he stay loyal but that he's really only about you, it'll make things a lot easier. No second-guessing, and being able to enjoy the idea of being together even when you're apart. :)

  • You to learn to love yourself!