How come when it comes to dating different races, fathers don't care about who their son dates but their daughters?

Okay, so I am black. We decided to have a family meeting and talk about race and how to deal with different things that go on. Then we started talking about interracial dating. My dad told my brothers, "I dont care what color she is. As long as she is respectful with a good head on her shoulder then she is welcome." Then he turned to me and said,"if you bring a white boy in my house I will wring his neck in front of you." I asked him, how was that fair and he said "because I said so."


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a black dude (always mention my ethnicity for these racial questions)

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    The whole idea behind this thinking, is that the father is the leader and controller of the household culture. So a black guy with a biracial baby, the child will culturally be black culturally.

    But in your case, the leader and controller of the household culture would be a guy that isn't black... so the lineage of the black family culture to the next generation would n compromised, and would be one generational step to assimilation (as in cultural destruction of your family's black lineage).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Fathers in total don't like their daughters dating ANY kind of guy because in the end they are the princesses and all that and usually a girl is more connected with their dad then their moms so that just makes them over protective while boys they tend to be more close with their moms and boys they can take care of them selfs and their for fathers don't care because boys are suppose to be strong and stuff like that. Now about the race part maybe your dad doesn't want you to mix with anyone that is black and possibly that the "white boys" parents can be racist and judge on your skin color not your personality and I don't think your dad will want to go threw that problem so he tells you to go with a person of your race (keep in mind that this is my opinion and I'm not trying to offend you in any way) while boys like I said before they are expected to be strong and take care of themselves so it doesn't matter what race they get because they can stand up and take care of problems themselves and I think thats what your father may think, that he can deal with it a scenario where the girls parents don't like him because of his race.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Yeah this is stupid. Some of my relatives have done the same thing. Like, my mom is like, "as long as she love you." Whereas my female cousins' parents be like, "don't bring no white boy up in my house." It's bigoted and sexist. Black families are really authoritarian in a way I think other people don't necessarily realize.

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  • Because your sons can have unlimited children, so basically the more women they have sex with the better. They can always have, in your case, a *real* black baby later with a *real* black girl.

    Your daughters however can only have a limited number of children, and each child brings down that total number. If you have a baby with a white guy, then that is one less *real* black baby you will ever have.

    Make sense?

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    • I don't think that's what they're thinking either. Because I really doubt they want their sons to pop out a dozen kids

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    • Not wanting your daughter to date a man of a different race isn't guided by biological instinct. Its guided by conscious thought.

    • Anyway, biologically, mixing races is advantageous. So what you're saying has zero basis in science.

  • Never heard of this until now. But yes it doesn't make any sense what your father told you. My grandmother used to tell me, my brother and my sisters to marry White/Mediterranean people because she wanted our kids to look like her descendants and like her parents lol

    I guess it would make sense in that case, but he told you this when allowing your brothers to date different races? What's his ideology to that? I think you should ask him because in this case he is being far more sexist than racist. Not a good teaching here.

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  • Isn't there a big thing in the black community revolving around BM/WW couples being more acceptable than BW/WM couples? It's confusing as shit, at least with white people nobody is allowed to bring home someone who isn't white if the parents are bigots.

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  • There's loads of sexism intertwined with racism. These -isms gotta go lol

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  • It turns out that isn't true.

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  • Bc he's the man he will lead her

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  • It's not just about race. When I was a teen for example, I had way more freedom than my sisters. I was just warned about not getting anyone pregnant and that was it. My sisters on the other side, had all these rules: about when to come home, what not to wear, where not to go, what kind of person to date etc. They were much more restricted.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Bruhh, there are sooo many men in my family who date white women. My brother, my cousins, etc... But as soon as I say white guys are attractive or I'd date one, they're all like "eww."

    I guess it's sort of like black men don't want a white man in the family but don't mind a white woman. Or vice versa.

    Or a black woman doesn't want a white woman in the family but doesn't mind white men. Or vice versa.

    But, I love my brother's wife... She's awesome ❤

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  • I guarantee this is most likely just the view of your family.
    Typically, when a parent is against interracial dating they are that way no matter the gender of their child.
    What your parent is saying just doesn't make any sense.
    Although I feel it's great to have different races blend and mix, if I were not okay with something I'd NOT be okay with it in general.
    Not half way.

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  • Dad's can be so unfair. It's a double standard. My dad talked to my brother about girls all the time like women are candy in a candy store and my brother is younger than me by two years. But whenever I said something about a guy, or even looked at a guy, he jumped on my case so fast. I don't know what it is but it's definitely a double standard man. But idc I date who I want. It's me who'll have to live with my decision not him.

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  • Basically it's sexist. I guess he doesn't trust white men dating his daughter as much as white women dating his son, which is bigoted and sexist. It's unfair. It's not fair at all, and certainly not because he said so.

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  • I'm Asian and my dad doesn't care, at all.

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  • Just because your father is not like that does not mean that all father's are like that. I'm black and white and my father is not like that at all. He is not ignorant

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