Ladies: how would you feel? Am I allowed to be hurt and upset? I just need someone to empathize and tell me if I'm wrong. please help?

I had a crush on this guy for an entire year, and he seemed to think I was attractive. I'm not shy, but I'm new to dating so I didn't know what to say or do properly. He, on the other hand has dated plenty of girls, but before I met him he had just broke up with his ex, and she was horrible to him and she shot his self confidence, so he became really shy and antisocial. So we kind of flirted, but just very mildly, and he seemed slightly interested based on the things he would do when talking to me or around me. He would stare at me a lot. I definitely was the more outgoing one in our "aquaintancship". Notice I said aquaintancship rather than friendship, because we never really were friends, honestly. We probably had a total of less than 10 brief conversations. On the sidelines: he and his ex girlfriend were best friends during our whole little flirty aquaintancship. His ex used to be really friendly towards me then for some reason stopped talking to me and stopped being nice when I met "him". There were rumors floating around that she still had a crush on him but he didn't want to go back to her. Then he started dating another girl (she pursued him). I'm not trying to be mean, but this girl was really plain. And the girls he's dated in the past were HOT. Some of the hottest girls on campus. So it's obvious that he was more into her personality, than looks, and like I said I'm not trying to be mean. After a few weeks they broke up because he wasn't into her all that much. Meanwhile this whole flirty aquaintancship was still going on with me and him. Long story short, a friend of his told him I liked him, after finding out from my friend. He told his friend that he thought I was beautiful. So the guy pulls me aside one day and says he wants to talk. He basically told me that he didn't know me that well and he didn't want to date a girl he wasn't already friends with, but we could be friends. (still trying to figure out if that was rejection or if he was willing to try

Updates:
Meanwhile summer comes around
I invite him to hang out and he tells me that he can't come. Then I move the meeting up to next week and he says "okay yeah I think I can come". He never follows up, so I message him and call him out on his flakiness and indecisiveness. He lashed out and said he didn't even want to "try" now because of my behavior and that he didn't want to hang out with me.
So I apologized and he forgave me and started talking to me me again. He asked me questions about my life and I did the same. I guess during this time, the same ex swooped in and got back together with him. Then he stopped talking to me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're certainly allowed to feel things, but, what you do with it, is a different thing

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    • I have borderline personality disorder which makes me not able to understand emotions in the same way others do, so I don't know what is normal to feel. so I need you to tell me who I have a right to feel upset towards?

      Should I be mad at him and what for? Was he really a jerk to me?

      Should I be mad at the ex because she say around and let him date all those other girls but the minute I wanted him, she wouldn't let me have him

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    • Kind of demeaning to make a woman feel like a prize, but, in reality, men like the chase more than the prize itself. It's fun

    • @Honeyyy Dont over generalise not all guys are the same

Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean I don't think you should be hurt because he's basically telling you that he's not dismissing a potential relationship with you, but he wants to be your friend first. It's not rejection, its leaving the door open! Keep your head up, if he's into getting to know you more he will try as will you x

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    • Why do you think it's rejection
      While the poster below thinks it rejection

      Oh and there's more to the story

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    • Oh and get this. She friend requests me after I deleted him from Facebook only to defriend me, and not follow me back on instagram

    • Just ignore her, don't let people who are toxic for you in your life. I wouldn't be mad at the ex because she's not my friend.

What Guys Said 3

  • He rejected you. You do have a right to feel hurt from being rejected but men face the same rejection all of the damn time.

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    • Why do you think it's rejection

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    • Basically I just want to know how you would feel and what you would be upset about if this happened to you

    • Ye, he was being a jerk and I zhink zhat he was really into you but just stopprd giving a damn

  • Yes,.. sorry this happened be upset and hurt. But don't let him keep you down. Guys out there are dying to meet a good woman. In this case he didn't respect you enough to treat you fair. So go give that to someone that will.

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  • I don't know to be honest.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Do u laugh at the same joke twice? No! So why suffer from the same pain twice? And besides love isn't ment to be painful. When its painful its nt love!

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    • What do you think about HOW I was treated by all the parties involved

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    • I completely agree with Nostalji, he just wants a spare girl for backup if things go wrong with his current girlfriend

    • @ElijahWolf thnx man ☺️👍🏼

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