I want to put off dating until I'm financially and professionally stable. Is this a good decision?

I'm currently 29, but I messed up in my career, and have to start over from scratch. I also haven’t dated for almost 4 years now.

I can't really focus on my career if I'm involved with a woman, because I can only focus on one thing at a time. I would find dating to be a distraction at this point.

I prefer to get settled professionally and financially, before I even consider getting back into the dating scene. But this may take a few years, and I may actually be nearing 35 by then. Would it be too late for me to date?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you have your priorities set nicely.

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    • Yeah, I do. Dating will never provide a roof on my head or food on my plate, but a stable career will. But is a man in his early to mid-30s too old to date, especially if he hasn't dated for the past 10 years or so?

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    • Wow, now that is encouraging! Thanks! :)

    • You're very welcome! :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • There will always be other things happening in your life and you will always have excuses to not date. Why not just forget dating for the rest of your life?

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    • Yeah, that is a good idea too. If I ever feel too lonely, I can just go for a mail order bride.

      Dating is so tedious and time consuming. I don't suppose I can devote time for that, because I need to work my ass off, probably up to 18 hours a day, until I am financially stable.

    • I would not recommend the mail order bride route; there are too many horror stories. There is no age limit for love; at age 60, I have fallen in love with a wonderful lady who is 63 years old. As long as your heart is receptive, you can find love.

      The problem with not dating for years is that, the longer you live alone and become accustomed to doing everything your way, the more difficult it will be for you to successfully accommodate to living with someone else. If you fall in love with someone, they will want to spend more and more time with you, and then it will come down to cohabit or get married. Somebody who hangs the roll of toilet paper "the wrong way" can drive you nuts if you are a punctilious, OCD kind of guy who has had the toilet paper hanging "the right way" for a number of years. You also need to consider all of the issues relating to children, of course; perhaps you have written off that possibility for yourself but that will limit the pool of potential partners.

What Girls Said 5

  • I don't see anything wrong with that decision. Being more professionally and financially stable is probably the best option before you try to consider dating or settling down with someone. The age of 35 is definitely not "too late" to date. Plenty of people meet someone when they're even older than that. There's nothing wrong with wanting to focus more on your career first.

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  • Do whatever works for you, dude.

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  • Yes it seems like a good decision 👍🏼

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  • You could die tomorrow.

    Don't put off dating. You can juggle both. Challenge yourself

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    • Find a good woman who is also goal oriented.

      You can accomplish more as a team.

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    • You have a good chance. Go for it!

    • Would you mind if I send you a PM? i would just like to know, in your opinion, if my looks are good enough to date in spite of me not being financially stable. Only if you agree, because I know that girls get creeped out my unsolicited messages from guys! :P

  • Just see what happens; if an opportunity to date someone you really like comes along, don't give it up. People start dating in high school, and they're definitely not financially stable (not that I approve of it). You can definitely manage both, it just depends on if you want to.

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    • But people in high school are not 'expected' to be financially stable anyway. A man of 30 surely is, right?

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    • But if I can't dedicate time for the relationship, won;'t it be unfair for her? I mean.. considering my present situation, I may need to work my ass off for 16 to 18 hours per day, for the next few years. I messed up REALLY bad in terms of my career.

    • It depends on the girl, some may be okay with it.

What Guys Said 6

  • I don't think it is a good plan. Why not find a woman that you can build a future with instead? At least that way when you meet her, you know it isn't for your money, since you aren't currently professionally stable. If you wait until you are stable, you will attract more gold diggers, and it will be harder to sort through them. Besides you don't need to be rich to have fun with a girl.

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    • Well... the problem is, I'm too insecure about my current professional life and financial situation. Besides, if I'm established, that will anyway increase my eligibility with women, right?

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    • There are plenty of men that never get established well, and they still find women. Being financially established is only one part of what a man can offer a woman.

    • Ok, so I'll not actively 'seek' women. But I won't pass up an opportunity to date, if it presents itself. I suppose this approach is a god middle-path! :P

  • no you want to know that a girl likes you for being a person. money should come after.

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  • You'll never have enough cash and really feel ready, just jump in and see where life takes you. Each stage of life has its own things to deal with, if that makes any sense

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    • But I may have to slog my ass off for up to 18 hours a day. Where will i even have the time to dedicate to the woman I'm dating? Even if I somehow manage, won't she just dump me for not giving enough time to her?

    • If she's serious and worth her salt she will making it work she will understand. If not, then there is other issues at hand.

  • Think of it this way, what do you think is going to be left?

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    • Didn't get you! Sorry!

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    • Haha, I already told you that I'm willing to date ANYONE. How can I lower my standards even more?

    • Then like I said the other option is to increase your value. I hope for your sake you don't get used. But it's your life, good luck.

  • How did you mess up?

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    • I developed mental health issues.

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    • Oh... I'm really sorry bro. I can feel that. :(

    • It's okay...

      I can still have fun...

  • You're better off finding a women who truly likes you when you don't have a nice job and are financially stable. Once you are financially stable and have a good job your chances of finding a girl who likes you mainly for your money and financial security goes way up.

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