Are there guys who will wait until later in the relationship for sex?

I'm 18 and still a virgin. Every guy I've dated wants to have sex right away and I get a lot of 'offers' for sex but that's not what I want. Obviously I've thought about it but I made the decision to wait not until I'm married but a while into a relationship I'm talking AT LEAST 6 months. To some people that's a really long time but I know if I gave in before I was ready I would lose respect for myself just because I've made a promise to myself. It's so hard to find guys who will wait. Are there still some of those guys out there?
Its also hard to find people around me who understand. I'm not doing it for religious reasons or because I'm scared etc but because I've seen women give it up and regret it afterwards or have the guy totally bail and I'm not into that idea. He doesn't have to be 'the one' but someone I know will respect me and not use me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, there are guys like that as well.

    The real trick though, if you have had casual sex before then never expect that from a guy. Guys who would wait for girls like this are idiots. But if you're a virgin or at least always wait yourself then I'm very sure you'll find a guy who does. Also, you can wait as long as you can but never say no when it's the perfect time to have sex. There are those times as well, so it's also not waiting just because. Wait as much as possible, but when you do it make it right then.

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    • i see this all over. people are ready for different things at different times in their life. saying you should only wait if someone has always waited is like saying you should never be in a relationship with someone who's dated casually.

      i think holding onto rules about that is no different than saying two weeks or two months or whatever then im out. its not respectful to 'wait' for someone if you're doing it with conditions that appeal to your eGo. waiting _for _ someone should be just that for _them_.

      if you dont want to wait thats fine, but be honest about i. dont act like You ARE doing something respectful by waiting for certain people. its completely self serving. its just a way to puNish women who have had sex without you. people who Have had sex are stroll humANS WITH THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERIENCE.

      IM A VIRGIN BUT I wouldn't HAVE SEX WITH A GUY WHO WOULD WAIT FOR ME only BC OF THAT. ITS JUST IMMATURE,. IT SHOWS he's NOT PREPARED TO DEAL WITH ANOTHER PERSON HONESTLY.

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    • @Azara It's not a way of punishing, no not at all. Also, I'm not saying to not date a girl who had casual sex. If a guy wants to (I personally have no problem with it) then do it.

      But I stand by my opinion, I wouldn't wait to have sex with a girl who practiced casual sex. She has the right to wait all she wants, just as I have the right to not wait. And I don't expect sex, like I don't feel entitled to have sex with the girl I'm with. I would happily wait for a girl who's sexual experience limits with the dates/relationships she ever has.

      But when we are talking about someone who has opened her legs for a night stand with guys, I don't judge her for doing that. Rather, I think Ok she couldn't help herself with that guy, why she easily holds it for me? It's such a turn off to realize a girl has little sexual attraction towards you, specially since I think sexual chemistry is key (up there with personality match) in any relationship.

    • There are also the cases where girls use this "tactic" to manipulate guys into stuff, some girls use sex for stuff but I'm ignoring this in what I explained.

What Guys Said 21

  • I'd be open to waiting that long if she was a virgin but if I feel like she's the type of girl who has had one night stands and fwbs there's no way Id wait 6 months.

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  • Yeah, there are lot of guys like that. I'm personally willing to wait even until marriage if she wants me to, as long as we love each other. But if she never wants sex at all, then I wouldn't want to be with her any more.

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  • A man will have a LOT more respect for a woman that has sex when the time is right, more then a woman that is having sex by checking off days on a calendar. Sex on the first date is right if the chemistry between you is right. You really don't know that until you are in the moment. To say your going to watch a calendar before you will have sex is disrespectful to the man your in a relationship at that time with.

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    • just FYI... I am not saying have sex on the first date. or even the 3rd date, which is when sex is considered "on the table" in adult relationships. If it takes 6 months to "feel right" then your really not in a relationship that is going to work or worth being in...

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    • Then why don't you respect yourself enough to know that when the time is right, you will know it. And you really will. You seem to think that self respect equates to waiting.

    • Not exactly keen on sleeping with someone early on in the relationship if I'm not sure they're worth it and in the relationship for the right reasons. I've witnessed my mother do that time after time and I refuse to let sex be taken lightly until I know they have the right intentions. I've seen it destroy differet women's dignity because they fall for a guys false promises and words just for temporary situations they don't actually care about

  • People use you as a man every day so that why we don't often think the same I guess. I know for a fact I have been used for money and sex. People lie and that's the way it is, they have made me cynical. When your not a virgin waiting 6 months for sex is a really long time. Find another virgin or compromise somehow

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  • Yeah I waited. Some guys are willing to wait but you have to tell them early in the relationship

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  • Sure you can find a guy who will wait your arbitrary 6 months for sex. That guy will probably either be 1) extremely religious or 2) have no other options of women to choose from

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  • I have no problem waiting.

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  • If you date down, you'll find it more.

    The guys who are attractive and handsome, will not wait for sex because they don't have to.

    Also, if you are wanting to wait for sex... make sure you are as much of a catch as possible. That will make more men willing to wait.

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  • I have the same problem. I don't have a set amount of time i "have" to wait before i put out. But i do make sure that i don't have sex until i know for certain that our relationship is serious. I always used to say that i would only put out if i KNEW that the relationship was gonna last for the rest of my/her life, but i misjudged...3 times 😅

    So yes, I'd definitely be willing to wait that long. I might even have to wait longer if I'm unsure about where we are going.

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  • I'm one of those guys. Still a virgin. And like you, I'm waiting until I know for sure I have a future with the girl. We are out there, you just have to start giving the not your type guys a shot. maybe try someone who's a little fat? no girl touched him before and he'll be happy to have a girl love him. so he won't be pushy when it comes to sex. and in those six months, you can have him exorcise with you every day and get him to lose the weight. come the six months and you'll both be ready to go I guess.

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  • I honestly want to wait until marriage, however since I only want one I hold very high stabdards even if I'm no stud, honestly most guys who want to wait for arc tend to be picker on looks etc like myself

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  • I'm 19 and waiting until I get married. Rest assured, when that night comes, the virgin is going right out the window as I plan to make my first time extremely special.

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  • I don't even like sex. It's stressful and boring. I could wait indefinitely.

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  • Yes there is guys what would be willing to wait.

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  • I don't mind waiting until she's ready even if that's a long time

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  • Me.. I'm one of em.

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  • I can wait for sex, but if you plan on never having sex with me, then I don't want a relationship with you. I'm just being honest. Sorry for being blunt about it. :D

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  • Stick to the social life around your church, since this is obviously a religious conviction, and you'll find a guy who shares your unrealistic view of life. Just be prepared for a lot of dysfunction in your future marriage. But at least you'll have the same disappointment in common. I say that from experience, after doing exactly what you are proposing here. I don't recommend it.

    By focusing on just sex, you are starting off dysfunctional. Think about it. Instead of being in a healthy, positive relationship with someone, you're looking for a virgin who A) Doesn't know how to treat women, and B) Has no idea what he's doing in life, so C) He'll screw up a lot and expect you to be "understanding". Except, you won't.

    Because you are highly religious, you believe life is black and white. There is no screwing up in life without dire consequences. Instead of that healthy win-win relationship shared by two emotionally mature adults, you have two people stuck emotionally at the teenage level. It is a bad idea. I say that from experience. We're still married, 20 years. But we're not happy. If that is your goal, appearance versus happiness, then go for it. Otherwise, my suggestion is stop being dysfunctional.

    And stop letting self-important preachers tell you how to be happy. Get into a good relationship. Have sex. Figure out if he's compatible with you now. If that's impossible for you, then just be sure to get the divorce going BEFORE kids enter the picture.

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  • If a guy really likes you he will wait

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  • They'll wait, but, I mean, there's got to be a point where you do it, you can't just expect us to pop the question THEN have sex. That's not fair

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  • Sure no problem. If she's not ready then I wait. I want her to be totally comfortable

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes but depends on where you're looking for a relationship. If you go to club, obviously you're not going to find serious guys there.

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  • Yes please wait and don't give it up to just any guy. When I lost my virginity I lost it to a gut who did not care about me, and I slept with this same guy for 6 years on and off. He treated me badly and I was really insecure and my self esteem went down.

    Then I stopped seeing him and I met another guy who I had sex with and I felt so used even though I chose to have sex with him, I was thinking that he would somehow want a relationship. None of the guys I had casual sex with wanted a relationship at all. It was always me wanting a relationship.

    The good guys who I had relationships with I never got the chance to have sex with my first real boyfriend was a Virgin and my second one was a Virgin too.

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