Is personality enough?

I recently "friend zoned" a guy because I wasn't physically attracted to him (he has really bad acne) However, I had a change of heart because his personality is great. He's funny, intelligent, kind, sweet etc. We went on our first date tonight and honestly I had a fantastic time, I was actually able to look past the exterior. The problem is, I kept thinking to myself will his personality be enough in the long run? Like what if after a few months of dating I just can't deal with the fact that there's no physical attraction there and I end up breaking his heart? I don't want to seem shallow, I'm just trying to be as honest as possible with myself and with him. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • go with your gut. you can take all our opinions into account but go with your gut. personality goes a long way obviously as it doesn't fade with age. a good looking person matters to a lot of people, but if you allow yourself to experience different things, you may open up your world to an entire new perspective you would have never dreamed of that may take you through endless years of happiness. its your choice.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's usually easier for women to be content with personality than men. It's not a good or bad thing---it just is. There have been plenty of guys I'm not physically attracted to but would love to be with just because they're so likable.

    Just take it slow. If you genuinely develop feelings for him then his outer appearance will no longer be any sort of turn-off. But if you find yourself consistently discontent with his looks then let him go find a girl who DOES truly like him.

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What Guys Said 8

  • First of all you're not being shallow. Being physically attracted to a love interest is important and necessary to both sexes. There's nothing shallow about that.

    If he were able to clear up his acne would you then find him physically attractive? If so, maybe give him time to get that stuff under control. I say this because you mentioned he has a great personality and I'm guessing he is probably a good guy. Those are very important qualities in an SO. The kind of qualities that help build strong relationships and keep then together. Ultimately the "honey moon" phase will end, as the infatuation. From there you need 2 people who genuinely like each other and view each other as having positive attributes for the relationship to last. A pretty face and nothing more won't build a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

    If you wouldn't find him attractive even if his acne cleared up, or aren't willing to wait to see if he can clear it up, I think you should cut it off now. You will probably be unable to ultimately fall in love with him if you're not physically attracted to him. That is a necessary element of true love.

    Love stories like The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Beauty and the Beast are just that. Stories. They're fiction. Unless someone can find Quasimodo or the Beast as a little attractive, they will ultimately have no romantic love. Yes, you can grow to be physically attracted to someone you weren't initially and that may happen.

    Ultimately my advice to you is if you don't find him physically attractive without the acne and aren't willing to give it time to see if he can clear it up is to end it. He will only get hurt and ultimately in the long run you'll feel cheated for not having physical attraction to him.

    I'd also like to commend you for taking the time to bother to care if he may end up broken hearted if you continue dating, and for seeking to be honest to him and yourself. Well done. Best of luck.

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  • Date him for the moment! If you like him now personally then you should go for it as with time progressing you may even like him more and breaking his heart now or later does not make a difference!

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  • It may be a different love but there's people in my life woh are not the best looking.
    and i love them from the bottom of my heart, if sometihng were to happen and they had half of their face burned, looked like... freddy

    Id still love them with all of my heart, but thats family.. I don't know about the boyfriend. girlfriend thing

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  • You can't bang personality OP

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  • Acne is superficial and is easily remedied in most cases. Be happy you found such a great guy. Many girls would kill to be where your at right now acne included...

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  • Let him go so he can find a woman who does like him.

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  • If you don't want to fool around with him, don't date him.

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  • I date girls with a good personality but that have to be looks wise average or higher

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What Girls Said 2

  • a cute face will go away within years, you said it he has a great personality, don't let him go. If his acne really makes you think twice there's a lot of treatments. If you let him go because of that there's a big change you will regret it later

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  • Personally, I have often found myself being much more attracted to a guy due to his personality. My current boyfriend who I've been with a few years now isn't exactly my "type" but his personality made me really like him and now I find him sexy somehow. It can happen. Not always though, some people really need the visual. So it's up to you, you can try, it might work it might not

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