Is it normal to feel so much less of a person knowing you've never been in a relationship?

I am a 21 year old female and regardless of the multiple times I've been complimented, I always feel less of a person knowing I have never been in a fulfilling relationship, along with never having a single boyfriend. Is this normal? I hate feeling this way. I am obsessed with the fact that I've never had a boyfriend. Am I that ugly?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • More and more people these days are settling themselves before involving someone else up into their mid thirties. There is nothing wrong with it at all. Society is stressing self improvement and happiness before involving someone else these days, which is good. For guys or girls, men or women, it is difficult to be attractive to someone when you need them to be the sole source of your happiness. My dating and relationship success became more successful the more happy I became as a single person with myself. It doesn't work as well the other way around. I used to think I was abnormal being single and unwanted and thought I would be happier in life with a relationship. I made it the single focus of my life and that tended to push more people away rather than draw them in.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Read the book The Rules

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What Guys Said 4

  • Yes that is a normal feeling. Much of our self worth is dictated by how we believe others perceive us. If we have had only rejection or bad experiences, it can often affect our self esteem.

    I doubt you are that ugly. Most likely you are either too picky, or you suck at flirting to the point guys don't know you are interested. When women remain single when they don't want to be single, those two reasons are the most common reasons.

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    • I agree with most of what you said, I don't suck at flirting, I don't see the point in flirting. And what is wrong with being too picky?

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    • Argh not knowing drives me crazf

    • Crazy*

  • I had my first girlfriend at age 23.

    You're just worrying too much. It's not a big deal. Just relax and enjoy your life! You're still young: )

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    • Does no one understand how hard it is to not worry? Lol

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    • If you want to remain picky and STILL be in a relationship, then you need to start approaching guys you prefer yourself. Otherwise, you may just end up waiting for such guys to approach you, while you reject everyone else.

    • You may or may not be wrong

  • I know a guy... never been in a relationship. No girlfriend all the way until his 30s. Then a really pretty girl just walked into his life. They were married last week.

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    • Wow was he shy? I honestly don't believe this

    • Oh he was hopeless. He has a lot of allergies and one of them is stress. His body would turn into some lobster reincarnation if he is stressed. He got an engineering degree but couldn't stay with his job so he was jobless. Our company found out about his situation so we decided to hire him. He has been with us for a couple years now and is a very valuable member of the management team.

      He is shy, a computer nerd, comes from a poor family and has this weird rash at random point during the week. Seems allergic to everything except his girlfriend.

    • Wow. It's probably meant to be then.

  • Try 38 and never had a proper relationship. What do you think about that?

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    • The question is how does it make you feel?

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    • For your situation I think it's fine because you're still young

    • One thing I will say is I look younger and I've even had interest from girls around your age before so I guess that's one thing still in my favour

What Girls Said 0

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