I never get the girls that I chase, but tons of other girls that I don't even pay attention to like me. What gives?

Just like the title says I never get any girls that I chase due to me screwing up, them not liking me/ being taken, and just bad luck. But I have a bunch of girls that I don't like who I know like me. Don't say the "you like what you can't have" line because I've heard it a million times and it's not the case. Has anyone else had this happen?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you act different around girls you don't like, and you do things that would make them like you... but don't act the same way around girls you do like. Sometimes I'm more comfortable around guys I don't like or wouldn't date than I am guys I would date just out of self consciousness.

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    • This is by far the best explanation I have thought of.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I always act different around a girl I don't like vs. the one I do like.
    I can't say much to a girl I do like. The one I don't like im way more comfortable and open but that might not be your case.

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    • Yea it's the same for me.

What Girls Said 3

  • been there! I have no idea why is that!!! I hate it. If someone knows the answer I would be glad to hear it.

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  • Stop chasing & do you and most importantly stay genuine girls don't like that phony stuff we see right through it

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  • The girls you chase just don't find you attractive

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What Guys Said 6

  • I have this problem too. It's really frustrating. It makes me feel like I'm cursed to be miserable or something. It makes me feel like I have no say in my own life. It makes me feel like no amount of self-improvement will help, no amount of trying to be interesting, no amount of confidence will help because the problem is that I'm fundamentally inferior and I can't beat it, I can't break free of my story. It makes me feel like the problem is that I'm fundamentally less than the alpha males, and I'll never get to defeat them. It makes me feel like I'll never be able to defeat "not good enough". I really hate the feeling that I am restricted to dating someone that I won't even have any real interest in, except that they are all I can get. I worry that I'll never get to experience being with a woman that truly makes me feel alive.

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    • Sometimes I receive compliments. My looks have been complimented several times. I've always been told I have above average intelligence. And I've been told I'm a good conversationalist. I've been able to talk to the women I liked, and they've either said sweet things to me or shown at least some interest in my life. But I can never seal the deal.

      The real bad thing is that I knew all the girls I liked when they were single. Then some fucking cocky showoff alpha-male piece of shit shows up, and it's over. I feel like it's because I don't have an interesting enough identity, but I don't know for sure.

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    • @Asker , it's not. But trying to steal someone's girlfriend is. I guess my only course of action is to hope and wait.

    • whoops wrong person, nevermind.

  • this happens to everyone. just keep trying and you'll hit your stride.

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  • Are the girls who chase you less attractive than you while the girls you want are more attractive?

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    • Yes, but I chase girls that are equally attractive and I know that most girl think I'm hot (I've been told)

  • Give the less desirable girls your attention and word will spread that you're a cool guy. Ask yourself if you desire a girl just for the catch value or because you REALLY like someone without ego/image being involved? If you want a trophy wife, be sure to make your first million SOON. Otherwise, get realistic.

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    • I pay attention the the less desirable ones and a lot of them are my friends, I'm not exactly looking for a trophy wife, but I do have high standards simply because I hold myself to the same standards and I will not settle for less

  • I must not have attraction magnet like some guys have, there were a few in HS that all the did was smile and girls just flocked to them. Made me sick

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    • I have that, but only with the girls that I don't like. I don't know why that is.

  • The more attention to pay to women, the less likely they are to be interested in you.

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