My ex replied but didn't want to see me?

I text my ex last night asking "can I see you?" We've been broken up 3 months, we kept in contact until about last month and he stopped replying to my 2 attempts at contact with him. After I text him he didn't reply for a few hours and he text "I was out sorry I don't think that would be a good idea :/" I really miss him and wanted to get him back I don't know what to do tbh, I'm happy he replied and he didn't exactly say no. But is there a chance he will see me? Is there anything else I can do?

  • Yes
    26% (6)25% (5)26% (11)Vote
  • No
    74% (17)75% (15)74% (32)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, given the extra information in the comments that you provided, I might give him another month or two, then try again. The way you describe it, it seems as though he feels as though he is an impediment or burden to you. That you are better off without him. And, he could be. If it was a normal guy, I would say "I don't think that's a good idea" would be construed as a blatant "I don't want to hurt your feelings, so I'm trying to let you down gently, but hell no, go away." But, if he does have issues with depression and feelings of low self-worth, then he might just be trying to protect you. Might. This all depends on what his intentions are, and it's very difficult to know that. So, you might try to find out what they are.

    I've been in similar situations. I've embarrassed myself to no end going to see a person I really wanted to be with, face to face to get absolute closure. To really *know*. And, I felt like absolute shit after, along with thinking "why the hell did I even bother?" And I've had a couple girls contact me after a break up. And I was the one who backed them off. I felt the same way, like they were better off without me. And they probably were. Or maybe not. Afterwards, I thought about it and thought "there's no way to tell the future. Maybe we could have held each other up." Maybe if that is what he is thinking, you can tell him that he can't see the future--and, if you really love him, that you're willing to go through some hard times to be with him. If you really are.

    Honestly, the way I thought back then was "Well, if they really love me, they will come back, even when I push them away." That whole saying "If you love them let them go. If they come back, they were always yours. If they don't, they were never yours." I don't know if that's true. But I don't think it is. I think you have to hold on to the people you love. But, it is also dependent on their wishes. If he simply will not, nothing u can do, and u will have to let go. Perhaps keep *vaguely*, barely in contact and see if he changes.

    Maybe ask him *why* he doesn't think it's a good idea. Don't put any faith in being with him again. Don't trust that this will just work out. Sometimes it doesn't, even when you really want it to.

    I understand why everyone is saying just move on. But I've done that, too, and regretted that, as well. It's your decision. It's something you have to figure out. You'll probably regret it both ways. So which way will you regret least?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry, but I think he has made it extremely clear, he doesn't want to see you. He has done you a favour by replying to you. It is a courteous thing to do, so you are not left hanging. But he is spelling it loud and clear that he doesn't Want to get back to you.

    He needs space to get over you, and so do you. He is being polite now, but of You keep texting him, he will first ignore you, and perhaps later block your number...

    Walk away with your dignity intact. Let the healing process begin...

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    • So you think that there is no chance at all? He said he didn't think it was a good idea, if he meant no then why didn't he just say so?

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    • So you think he's never going to want to see me? I understand that it might be a set back but if he misses me why is he so scared to see me :( I thought that this space would be good for us because of everything that has happened this year really took a toll on our relationship and I think that if we met up again we could share our feelings and talk about why our breakup happened. I don't feel like we are over yet. I don't know what I can do tbh I don't want to look stupid/pathetic but I want him to know how I feel and to see if there is a chance he still feels the same way

    • Yes, unfortunately I think the chances of you getting back together is slim to none. And even if there is, conatcting him over and over will only push him further away.

      What you are looking for is closure. Problem is he got his, it was over for him, before it was over for you. Often the dumpee is left with incomplete broken pieces, impossible to put together. Thus it is hard to get closure. But trust me, you won't get it by meeting him, and talking about it.

      Your best bet is to live your life like he is Never going to return. If he truly does miss you and does want to start things up again, he will get in touch. You have done all that is there to be done. Start getting over him, work on yourself, and eventually start dating other people...

What Guys Said 3

  • "he didn't exactly say no"...

    "'I was out sorry I don't think that would be a good idea :/"
    That's pretty much a no. Move on.

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    • I've been trying to move on but I still want to be with him. I know he didn't say yes let's meet up. He said he didn't think it would be a good idea, which makes me think he's just scared to see me I don't know :(

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    • I know you think I'm stupid and I'm not naive I know he isn't planning some big surprise to win me back. I just want there to be a chance for us in the future. It's been such a tough year for him with his father dying an that took such a strain on our relationship. I don't want to give up on him when I know he isn't himself right now

    • "It's been such a tough year for him with his father dying an that took such a strain on our relationship. I don't want to give up on him when I know he isn't himself right now" Jesus what a bomb shell.

      regardless, he gave you a decision (albeit not a very clear one). Respect it. If you want to waste your time hanging onto someone who doesn't want to see you then go ahead.

  • he was letting you down easy.

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  • Yes there is a chance he could see you.
    He could be playing a trick to surprise you.

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    • Yeah doubt it

    • Why do you think that? I don't think he would surprise me to be honest as good as that sounds. I hope that he would do that. But it's Christmas Eve now I thought we would have at least seen each other by now.

    • Never doubt any possibility.
      He might be surprising you on Christmas by getting back with you.

What Girls Said 5

  • I'm guessing he ended it?

    You really need to focus on moving on

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    • Yes he ended it but I thought it was because of his depression that he was pushing me away again (it happened before bad he begged me to come back that he didn't know why his head was so messed up that I was the best thing that ever happened to him)

    • I'm sorry, I know this sucks but he's moved on. Its best if you get him out of your head now

  • Obviously your ex has moved on. You should to.

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  • If he doesn't want to then don't force him. You can't change his mind and you deserve better just move on.

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  • I think its time you moved on.

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  • He obviously doesn't want to see you any more and you should respect that and move on with your life.

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