To give up on love?

I'm posting this as anonymous because a few of you know me from here.
But just I don't know
I'm tired of trying with guys
I've been alone my whole life
And right now I just had a realisation that I should just give up
Tired of wanting something I can't have
Tired of crying after seeing cute couples
Tired of feeling like I've been left out of something
So just deciding to say I'm done with love all together
I've been alone my whole life so i can't crave what I've never had isn't it?

Updates:
I don't need smart ass comments
This is a topic that literally depresses me to an extreme degree
So be mindful of that
Thanks

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I totally understand what you're going through. I get the feeling of being "left out of something" sometimes. The only difference is that I haven't been "alone" my whole life but, my last relationship was the kind of relationship I would only hope upon people that I really really can't stand.

    Know something though, it's normal for you to feel that way, Look at this picture below:

    www.teach-nology.com/tutorials/teaching/maslow.gif

    This is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and it's showing you that what you're feeling is very normal since it's for the most part one of mankind's psychological needs and we are like this because it's a driving force for us to seek a mate and continue breeding. "Giving up" is the natural way of thinking when it comes to fighting this urge when not met with huge success but, can you say that when a guy is genuinely interested in you you'll turn him down because you "gave up"? I doubt it. So don't just simply give up but rather direct your focus somewhere else, towards your career, hobbies, interests... etc. And trust me, many many men will mature and realize that dating is more than getting the girl with "the biggest booty", "the sexiest camel-toe"... etc, and many many girls will realize that dating is more than getting the guy with "the popularity", "the sexiest arms"... etc, because I'm very sure that many of these couples you saw -assuming that you looked at many couples of your age group- were together for the reasons I stated above or even just to avoid the experience of what you're feeling right now. I like to think that things will get better in time and I would like you to think the same.

    P. S I got this letter from a man I've never seen before and he told me to give this to the Anonymous girl between the ages of 18 and 24. I think that's you so here it is,

    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...91e405291f.jpg

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i've been alone my whole life too. it is what it is lol. i just focus on other things, there are so many things that can make you happy.

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    • I do that too but if i see couples or something cute like that even in movies my mood instantly drops

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    • I don't cry around other people I cry alone almost all the time because my friends are all in relationships and I get picked on sometimes as being the loner girl
      I laugh it off but alone I cry about it :/
      But it's just I wanted to know how it felt to be wanted and kissed and hugged
      And feeling like you're floating on clouds
      I don't care about the after math

    • your friends shouldn't pick on you :o that's a bit rude... :( well, i wish i could help you, but i'm in the same boat. all i can hope for is that if we ever do experience those things, they'll actually live up to our expectations.

What Guys Said 12

  • I feel like I'm getting close. A lot of the things you said, I feel like I could have said myself. I'm tired of dealing with girls. I'm tired of dealing with social hierarchies that crown assholes as king and mock kindness as weakness. I'm tired of feeling left out, muscled out by guys who aren't any better than me with their tattoos and drugs and cocky attitudes and scumbag lifestyles. Then I look on the dating sites and there's no one there I actually WANT to talk to, no one there I actually would want in my life. I'd only pursue them cause the ones I want are taken. Most of the time, it doesn't feel worth it to continue.

    I suppose part of me still wants to keep going in the unlikely hope things will turn around for me somehow and I'll get another shot with the ones I want. But it's so unlikely, there's so much uncertainty. I just wish I'd been good enough in the first place.

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  • Actually it's quite normal believe it or not. Depending on your social skills and people skills some of us are just slight outcasts of the society. Not that it's a bad thing, and not that I'm saying you're anti-social or crazy.

    I grown up by myself most of my life, my parents were never around. My mother was overseas working, and I never had a father (guy that started me died, in car accident). Truth my childhood I grown to like the "loneliness" I guess it was a bit of a psychological defence of never having to deal with emotional pain, never being hurt by anyone and such. As such in my young adult years I found that it's hard for me to keep relationships, it's hard for me to have desire to search for them. Why? Because I came to love being lonely. Being a loner/lonely isn't such terrible thing, sure it's not greatest thing in the world, but it's also isn't the worse.

    With that said, I still believe that one day I will find someone right for me, it just make take longer than an average person. And as you I look at couples then go back and look at myself, with some moments of pure despair and crazy ideas as to "why I'm single" I go back to my usual self and move on.

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  • Congratulations! You're not the only one that has given up on love though.

    Fuck what everyone else said. It's ultimately up to you to decide what is best and/or right for you. You CAN Quit if you really want to. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Relationships do Not absolutely guarantee happiness anyways, especially for first time relationships.

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  • Anonymous girl, i sometimes feel exactly like you. Infact i feel quite close to this now.
    But all i need at those moments is that little encouragement i am about to give you.

    He will show up eventually, and then it will be all worth the wait!
    Don't give up on love it will happen!

    But don't stress yourself finding something that might not be around the corner. Perhaps even though your ready the guy you should be with isn't yet. So keep on waiting, distract yourself if you must. But don't give up on love. It will still happen!

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  • If it's something you desire so badly then why give up on it? You can't give up because there are plenty of potential partners you haven't met yet. There are millions of opportunities out there! Keep your chin up, my friend. Feel free to message me if you need anything.

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    • You don't know how many times I've tried only to be rejected again and again and again

    • That's a potential side effect of putting yourself out there. I've been rejected quite a few times too. I know it can wear on you but you are still worthwhile. You're still beautiful and there will be someone who sees that.

  • Don't give up, instead, stop trying. Work on yourself. Discover a new talent, make new friends. Often times when I've found someone it's when I wasn't looking.

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  • Just be a lesbian.

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    • I don't find women attractive romantically so no

    • Just find them physically attractive then. I mean some is better than none.

  • I feel the exact same way. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea from what I'm feeling.

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  • I gave up a LONG time ago

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  • You have my sympathy... But only to an extent.

    Giving up on things is cowardly, to be frank. And if you give up on this... what ELSE will you give up on? You are setting yourself up for a life of quiet desperation and disappointment.

    I would hope you want better for yourself.

    My suggestion? Be more proactive. I assume you wait for guys to ask you out? Don't. YOU approach. Doesn't matter if you're scared... Doesn't matter if you get rejected. Do it.

    It's about building your courage. Your character. Learn to advocate for yourself.

    Here's a harsh truth people today hate and don't want to believe: you're responsible for EVERYTHING in your life, at all times, without exception.

    Embrace that. Don't be a slave to your emotions. Don't let yourself wallow in self-pity. Don't give in to a victim mentality.

    Embrace being proactive and responsible for your own happiness. Happiness is a choice.

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    • I don't give up on anything else Esspecially on my dreams. I just give up on love

  • Alone your whole life at 18-24? Maybe we're overreacting just a bit?

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  • I nearly gave up on relationships because of my "size" down there. Too soul crushing to be repeatedly rejected over something you have no control.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I feel for you. The reality is that you can't just decide to stop wanting something when you've longed for it for so long.
    I see you're at least under 25 so believe me when I tell you that you still have lots of time. You've just started this race.
    My advice to you would be rather than giving up, just don't focus so much on it. Your worth is not based on who you're with. Go and continue to develop yourself with things you love. It will come. 💙*hugs*

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  • Well I know who you are! And I think you just need to focus on yourself for now!

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    • Also... don't you think it time you figure out that you need to be around people? I am the same way! I just haven't tired to actually join a club to meet people or even meet good friends!

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