I'm posting this as anonymous because a few of you know me from here. But just I don't know I'm tired of trying with guys I've been alone my whole life And right now I just had a realisation that I should just give up Tired of wanting something I can't have Tired of crying after seeing cute couples Tired of feeling like I've been left out of something So just deciding to say I'm done with love all together I've been alone my whole life so i can't crave what I've never had isn't it?
I don't need smart ass comments This is a topic that literally depresses me to an extreme degree So be mindful of that Thanks
I totally understand what you're going through. I get the feeling of being "left out of something" sometimes. The only difference is that I haven't been "alone" my whole life but, my last relationship was the kind of relationship I would only hope upon people that I really really can't stand.
Know something though, it's normal for you to feel that way, Look at this picture below:
This is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and it's showing you that what you're feeling is very normal since it's for the most part one of mankind's psychological needs and we are like this because it's a driving force for us to seek a mate and continue breeding. "Giving up" is the natural way of thinking when it comes to fighting this urge when not met with huge success but, can you say that when a guy is genuinely interested in you you'll turn him down because you "gave up"? I doubt it. So don't just simply give up but rather direct your focus somewhere else, towards your career, hobbies, interests... etc. And trust me, many many men will mature and realize that dating is more than getting the girl with "the biggest booty", "the sexiest camel-toe"... etc, and many many girls will realize that dating is more than getting the guy with "the popularity", "the sexiest arms"... etc, because I'm very sure that many of these couples you saw -assuming that you looked at many couples of your age group- were together for the reasons I stated above or even just to avoid the experience of what you're feeling right now. I like to think that things will get better in time and I would like you to think the same.
P. S I got this letter from a man I've never seen before and he told me to give this to the Anonymous girl between the ages of 18 and 24. I think that's you so here it is,
I feel like I'm getting close. A lot of the things you said, I feel like I could have said myself. I'm tired of dealing with girls. I'm tired of dealing with social hierarchies that crown assholes as king and mock kindness as weakness. I'm tired of feeling left out, muscled out by guys who aren't any better than me with their tattoos and drugs and cocky attitudes and scumbag lifestyles. Then I look on the dating sites and there's no one there I actually WANT to talk to, no one there I actually would want in my life. I'd only pursue them cause the ones I want are taken. Most of the time, it doesn't feel worth it to continue.
I suppose part of me still wants to keep going in the unlikely hope things will turn around for me somehow and I'll get another shot with the ones I want. But it's so unlikely, there's so much uncertainty. I just wish I'd been good enough in the first place.
Actually it's quite normal believe it or not. Depending on your social skills and people skills some of us are just slight outcasts of the society. Not that it's a bad thing, and not that I'm saying you're anti-social or crazy.
I grown up by myself most of my life, my parents were never around. My mother was overseas working, and I never had a father (guy that started me died, in car accident). Truth my childhood I grown to like the "loneliness" I guess it was a bit of a psychological defence of never having to deal with emotional pain, never being hurt by anyone and such. As such in my young adult years I found that it's hard for me to keep relationships, it's hard for me to have desire to search for them. Why? Because I came to love being lonely. Being a loner/lonely isn't such terrible thing, sure it's not greatest thing in the world, but it's also isn't the worse.
With that said, I still believe that one day I will find someone right for me, it just make take longer than an average person. And as you I look at couples then go back and look at myself, with some moments of pure despair and crazy ideas as to "why I'm single" I go back to my usual self and move on.
Congratulations! You're not the only one that has given up on love though.
Fuck what everyone else said. It's ultimately up to you to decide what is best and/or right for you. You CAN Quit if you really want to. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Relationships do Not absolutely guarantee happiness anyways, especially for first time relationships.
Anonymous girl, i sometimes feel exactly like you. Infact i feel quite close to this now. But all i need at those moments is that little encouragement i am about to give you.
He will show up eventually, and then it will be all worth the wait! Don't give up on love it will happen!
But don't stress yourself finding something that might not be around the corner. Perhaps even though your ready the guy you should be with isn't yet. So keep on waiting, distract yourself if you must. But don't give up on love. It will still happen!
If it's something you desire so badly then why give up on it? You can't give up because there are plenty of potential partners you haven't met yet. There are millions of opportunities out there! Keep your chin up, my friend. Feel free to message me if you need anything.
I feel for you. The reality is that you can't just decide to stop wanting something when you've longed for it for so long. I see you're at least under 25 so believe me when I tell you that you still have lots of time. You've just started this race. My advice to you would be rather than giving up, just don't focus so much on it. Your worth is not based on who you're with. Go and continue to develop yourself with things you love. It will come. 💙*hugs*