Guys, have you ever been just friends with a girl who you thought was attractive, and never fell for her? Or at least had feelings for her at one point?
- Yes I have been just friends with an attractive girlVote A
- No I haven't been just friends with an attractive girlVote B
Most Helpful Guy
There are four levels of relationships in a human society, and no other can exist besides those four:
a) Total strangers.
b) Known persons (neighbors, colleagues etc)
c) Friends/enemies (higher in the passion scale; they care for/hate you more than b) and
d) Flirt mates/lovers/spouses (sex or desire for sex is involved)
The problem with this scale is that you can only move upwards (a through d) and never downwards. For instance a neighbor can never become a perfect stranger no matter how many decades pass without seeing him and a former wife will for ever be "your ex" no matter how much friends/enemies you may have become after the divorce.
According to this scale when sex/desire is involved, every relationship is upgraded to d immediately. For example, if two perfect strangers have an ONS and then - two years later - the man sees the girl on the street, he will tell his friends: "Guys! Look over there! A girl I once screwed" and not "Oh! There's a perfect stranger" or "A good friend of mine" because the obvious question ensues: "Where did you met her?" and he has to reply "We just had sex once" (class d).
In the same way, if two friends have sex they are not friends any more. They are class d.
When between two persons things can proceed up to class d they can never (ever) remain to classes a/b/c (unless at least one of them is so ugly/unattractive). And in the natural course of things, between a man and a woman (both fairly attractive) things can escalate up to d.
Golden rule: Friends don't have sex/desire (or think of them). If they do (even just naughty thoughts) they are friends no more.
I can't imagine two guys drinking beer in a bowling center (or two girls talking about lipsticks) to think nude of each other: "Hey, dude! Your ass is hot! I'll lick it!". That's why two girls may change swimsuits in the same locker room without feeling attraction from their nudity. For the same reason (nude) players of a sports team don't (normally) fuck among them in the changing/hotel rooms. They are not attracted to each other. They are friends/colleagues. They only arrive to classes b/c.
But imagine two opposite-sex friends to change/sleep in the same room! An awkward situation! Because they can proceed to class d, they will be attracted to each other (at least unilaterally).
So, If you can (possibly) be lovers you can't be friends. If a girl/guy wants you to be JUST friends is a polite way to dismiss you or tell you that she/he finds you unattractive.0