Would you start a relationship if you are not sure about your feelings towards the other person?

So a friend of mine was in a relationship and after almost one year she decided to take a break from her boyfriend because she wasn't sure about her feelings anymore... it has been 4 months and the guy is still waiting for her to make up her mind... she says that one part of her wants him and is jealous if she sees girls approaching him but other part wants her to be alone , no relationships... i dont know what advice to give her.. what should she do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what advice you should give her, but tell her boyfriend to quit being a sap and act like he has some dignity left and dump her. A break for 4 mo? Get the f*ck outta here? And this guy is waiting for her? I'd be gone the minute I heard "we need to take a break." Damn sure wouldn't be waiting around for her for 4 mo. Let's also be real. You and I know she isn't going back to him. Even if she did she'd make him miserable because she actually has really low interest in him. She'd make him pu*ssywhipped, nag him to death, complain incessantly, and disrespect him because she has such low interest in him in reality. Tell them both to end it and move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • She's not into it and is using him. The guy is a sap - waiting 4 months for her to decide whether she wants something with him or not. It's silly, immature stuff. If she's outgrown him and wants to be alone then she should be strong enough to do that. It sounds to me like she's selfish and mainly concerned about what she is feeling. She's probably enjoying the power she has over him by keeping him waiting. Tell them both to move on and do other things with their lives.

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    • Good point about probably enjoying the power she has over him by keeping him waiting. I didn't think of that.

What Guys Said 7

  • To hell with her, HE should move on to be with a woman who is unconflicted in her desire to be with him.

    Actually, that statement does point to what her appropriate behavior should be.

    Said crudely: "Shit, or get off the pot!"

    You should tell your friend very clearly that this man is not a toy she can put on a shelf until she decides whether or not she wants to play with it again.

    He is a human being with a life to live. If she can't be fully committed to being a part if his life, she should remove herself altogether.

    Requiring someone to remain faithful to you while you can't be bothered to commit to them...
    IS. JUST. WRONG.

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  • Personally i never would, i can only start a relationship once i truly love someone and have no doubt they are right for me. I wouldn't want a girl who is doubtfull like that but i'd wait around a while so she has some time to make up her mind. 4 months is very long so i might have moved on by then.

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  • I wouldn't do that because that's a selfish thing to do and it's not fair on the other person.

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  • That's why I spend time with her not for just two weeks and then bam.. relationship! move together! yay. No! If I am not sure, then for sure I'm not getting into a relationship. She will be the first to know.

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  • I feel the same way as she does in the way of not knowing if you want to be with them or alone, so I just stay single. It's easier, and there's a possibility of you hurting someone if you find that you really don't have feelings for the other person

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  • No, I don't think I would.

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    • I don't know what to tell you about your friend. I think the guy should move on for now. If she can't say she wants to be exclusive with him, then she shouldn't waste his time and he shouldn't waste his own time waiting on her. We're not getting any younger. If she doesn't want to be jealous, then maybe she should decide to be exclusive. But she needs to stop stringing him along and forcing him to wait. Let him go if you can't be definite.

  • The girl I met in October did the same with me. I worshiped her, we were planning on getting married, but she kept playing games with me, then she disappeared. I don't know if she wants me or not, but I'm done chasing her. I've learned my lesson. I'll go for girls that really want me and won't leave me when I need them most. This was my first time trying to form a relationship with someone.

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What Girls Said 9

  • No I wouldn't. If I'm not sure whether I want a guy in my life or not it's a good sign that he's not the right guy for me and also tells me the relationship isn't meant to be. When I'm in love I want a guy 100% and wouldn't want to be alone as I'd want him in my life.

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  • I feel sorry for the man. But no, I would not start a relationship with that person. So many guys go through this and I think it's wrong for a lot of women to put them through.

    That person deserves someone who cares for them as they would for her. I know that some women date men believing that their feelings will develop the more time they spend with them. It's selfish and highly unfair to a man who thinks that he is getting a woman who loves him like he does her.

    She should break up with him and let him find someone who won't string him along while she figures out her feelings.

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  • It sounds as if this girl does not want him and doesn't want any other woman to have him, it's very unfair to put someone on hold when you know deep down inside there is no hope for a real relationship, she should let him go it's not fair to this guy.

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    • Good point about not wanting him and not wanting anyone else to have him. I also didn't think of that.

  • Never in a billion years

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  • I think the girl needs to know what a 'break' means. If it means that he can't see other girls then it's completely unfair for it lasting 4 months.

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  • It's not something I would do. I would only start a relationship with the other person if I'm 100% I love him.

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  • I go by instincts if I felt the vibe was right I would start the relationship

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  • She should break things off instead of stringing him on

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  • She should probably end things. There's no sense keeping him waiting for so long if in the end she decides she does want to be alone.

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