She's 16 and a freshman in college, I'm 20, does this seem any better because she's in college?

Met a freshman in college and found that she is 16, and when I say freshmen in college I don't mean she is a high schooler taking college classes, she is fully enrolled in college with a high school diploma, we are good friends looking for a relationship, There is a lot of stigma around this subject, there is little less than 4 year gap so she turns 17 before I turn 21. I'm not interested in sex, and have made that clear, she insists that her mother is okay with the situation as her mother and father were in the same at this age, but I'm not quite sure if her mother knows about me yet, I've pushed the fact i want to meet her mother. We live in Florida which under section 794.05 F. S in the Romeo and Juliet law it's legal for her to have a sexual relationship with someone upto the age of 23, so legally I'm okay, but honestly morality in the play here I'm not sure, because after 18 no one will give a second thought to it. So I'm just looking for opinions at this point.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's a tough one. You've cleared the legal hurdle, sure, but even though she's actually enrolled in college, that doesn't necessarily make her more mature or able to handle and relate in the same life situations you do at 20. We all know someone young who acts more mature for their age, and certainly being surrounded by people who are older and are more mature by age, can make that younger person seem the same by default, but it can be a challenge because you are at different places in your life. I mean when you and your buddies want to go out, she might not be able to come with you to certain places for like 2 years at least. Obviously some life experiences, you have, she has not yet had the experience and may not be ready (even beyond sex). These are things similarly aged people don't really ever have to really factor in, but it can put undo stress on a relationship in the long term for the two of you. Really think about it, and I think it would be worth it to just get an actual okay in person from her parents/mom in terms of you dating.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it is still ok of an age difference, if you keep in mind the close to 4 years more life-experience. While at first it might doesn't sound much and for ~30-40years old people it probaby isn't, at that age 4 years are HUGE. I have been there with dating a fairly big age difference and you are the one who needs to be the one taking the lead and help her with things she simply hasn't learned yet.

    Sexuality you already mentioned yourself that it's kind of a no-brainer to take things slow and her demand that her parents are ok with it is perfectly fine as well I think.

    Generally speaking though with such big age differences the best bet is to take things slow and not rush into anything.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'd recommend meeting her mother like you said... You don't have anything to feel guilty about or worry about

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  • I would still look at you like you were a pedobear.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it's fine so long as you respect her boundaries, understand that she is more vulnerable than girls your age are, and recognize and wield the power differential responsibly and wisely - not an easy thing to do at your age.

    Good luck to you both.

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  • If its legal, have at it. Some girls her age can be very mature looking, so i wouldn't label you a pedophile. If she was like 13, then that would be a WHOLE different story.

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