Nightmare Christmas with boyfriend , was it my fault? I'm so upset, appreciate all answers?

Hey everyone, merry Christmas to all of yous! :)
My boyfriend isn't speaking to me since the day before Christmas eve, he got annoyed with me that I was only getting his presents the day before Christmas eve, I work nights so I'm sleeping all days so it was hard for me to get out, but I did it and got him great stuff he wanted, cost me 298 euros. I told him I was heading out to get them and he was like'what? You don't even have my stuff yet? Iv been saving for months and I got your presents and your only getting them now? Your so selfish DON BOTHER GETTING ME ANYTHING ?' I didn't know what to say I was so shocked I couldn't even speak, so he hung up, I went out anyways. Got the stuff went home and wrapped them up. he didn't speak to me the whole day , Christmas eve he texted saying I can go down to his and get My presents and I carry his down, he did not say thank you or smiled at me or a hug or a kiss or said sorry, I said are u Still annoyed Over yesterday? He said yes I am your just do selfish, he said ' you make more money then me and you couldn't even go out weeks ago and got my present, I explained that I'm asleep all day till 5 then back in work at 9 -7am , I said 'okay I'm just going to go home thank u for my present ' he said 'ye thanks' I got annoyed and hurt so I made a face like just sighing to myself, he seen it and got so angry he burst out ' take your fu*kin presents back I don't want them now u selfish person get your money back carry them home I don't want thrm' so I left, obviously I left his presents with him Christmas morning he texts me ' thank u so much for my presents' he's been so off with me since tho, then he texted me saying next time he sees me he wants to talk to me. So there's my story about Christmas 2015, what is going on? Why did he act like this ,
I'll be so happy with answers I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas x


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He likes to use the world "selfish" a lot, doesn't he? Does he even understand what that term means?

    Granted, if it were me, I'd think you waiting until Christmas Eve was a little worrisome, just because it sounds like you didn't really care much about getting me something thoughtful. And if I'd been agonizing for a month and more about what to get you, that would rub me the wrong way. But "selfish" isn't the word I'd use to describe it. Perhaps a little insensitive.

    But I've dated people who work a ton, like you. I know what it's like when their schedule is nuts; I dated someone who was actually home only two weekends every month, she traveled so much. She worked insane hours as a top-tier consultant and was everywhere from San Francisco to Toronto to Miami. She didn't get my gifts until very late one year and I totally understood. But the gifts made it clear that she'd been THINKING about ideas for a while.

    Not selfish. Just busy. Does the latter situation describe what happened with you?

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    • Hi :) I totally understand but I new what I was getting him iv had these presents picked and reserved, I don't always work these hours just coming up to Christmas I had to work nights,
      He was on my mind the whole month of December I was getting worried myself but I new the 23rd I would have everything and I did, I didn't even sleep that day , I finished work at 8th (had to stay a hour back and went straight out for the day got my gifts went home and wrapped, then family cane up I was rushed off my feet, I just don't think I deserved all day from him?

    • It was the day before Christmas eve, 23rd I had my day off and got the gifts ( sorry I just seen you wrote Christmas eve) :)

    • That being the case, his reaction seems over-the-top and unwarranted. And I say again that he either doesn't know what the word "selfish" really means, or he's simply feeling hurt because you apparently didn't put as much thought into the holiday as he did. But based on what you're saying, that isn't true, so he's wrong either way.

      Maybe the silver lining is that he put so much care and thought into what he got you... only question is, do you think he did?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, he sounds like an arsehole. He should be grateful that you took the time to think of and choose a gift for him at all, who cares about when you go out to pick it up? He sounds extremely immature and petty. It's obvious that you were working very hard before Christmas and he should have respected that. You can probably do better.

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What Guys Said 7

  • First, I'm sorry about your Christmas. It was a pretty petty thing for your boyfriend to pick the day before Christmas to pick a fight, but the real answer is you are both young. Neither one of you has enough experience to understand the other's point of view. He doesn't understand that you're getting paid more because your schedule makes your life more difficult. The thing to do is to talk it out. If your relationship isn't strong enough to overcome this then it certainly would not have survived all of life's other pressures.

    Good luck and Merry Christmas.

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    • Thank you for your help, we're in our 20s my so I don't understand why he went on like that.
      Merry Christmas and Happy New year :)

  • He was totally being an asshole. Unless he has one hell of a good explanation, like he was suffering from the poisonous bit of a spider that makes you crazy, you should consider getting a real man for a boyfriend.

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  • Screw that guy. Who cares when you got his presents, you got them right? I work overnight too and it's tough to go out shopping because of my hours. I think he needs a serious attitude adjustment or you need to show him the door.

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  • Wow, your guy is crazy. He has zero empathy, no concern for anyone other than himself. To him, EVERYTHING is a business transaction including his relationship with you. You make more money than him, so you owe him presents?

    You need to dump this guy and find a guy who is capable of caring.

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  • He doesn't sound very mature. What adult cares that much about Christmas presents?

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  • Break up with him. He sounds like a selfish dweeb. I don't think you deserved any of that crap he gave you. You didn't do anything wrong and he needs a major reality check. Dump his ass.

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  • It definitely isn't your fault. He probably just feels that since you waited till the last minute you were being selfish cuz the things he wanted were "too expensive" and you have been looking for something cheaper. Once he realized that you actually got him what he wanted he probably felt bad and realized he was being a jerk. When you guys talk he's probably going to apologize and thank you for his gift. It's not right of him to have jumped to conclusions about you being selfish. If he wanted to jump to conclusions he should have kept them to himself instead of letting his anger out on you. You did the right thing by getting his gifts after he said you shouldn't and by leaving them with him after he didn't want them. If you hadn't then it could be your fault too, but it isn't. It was him who was being a jerk

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're not the selfish one. He is. You work pretty frequently, from what you've said, and you went out when you had time. He decided to react childishly.

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